May

Ripley’s Improve It… or Archie!

Posted by MGK Published in Archie (Improved Or Otherwise), Comics, Interactive Fun Time Party

My theory is that he's trying to commit suicide by cop.

The Improved Archie’s Fear (May 13th, 2014)
Improved Archie: The Ragin’ Climax (April 8th, 2014)
Archie Comics: The Improved Story (March 11th, 2014)
Who’s Afraid of Improved Archie? (January 30th, 2014)
Fifty Improvements of Archie (December 3rd, 2013)

37 users responded in this post

Subscribe to this post comment rss or trackback url

PaulW said on May 31st, 2011 at 9:26 am

“I told him to make a sniper’s nest in case Betty shows up on the telescope with a machete in one hand and a wedding ring in the other, but noooooooo Archie still thinks with his d*ck. The second Betty sees this island, we’re all doomed!”

Joe Mama said on May 31st, 2011 at 9:32 am

“What amazes me is that he actually gets them to take their bikini bottoms off to check the curtains/carpet correlation!”

Mitchell Hundred said on May 31st, 2011 at 9:35 am

You can see why we keep this species of redhead under close supervision. It’s the only way to prevent unfortunate incidents.

Jim Smith said on May 31st, 2011 at 9:57 am

With THAT rig? OF COURSE he can see anus!

nate said on May 31st, 2011 at 10:08 am

Archie is recipient of a grant from the Joe Francis nature conservancy.

MGK said on May 31st, 2011 at 10:19 am

(and Jim Smith goes OLD SCHOOL)

Tales to Enrage said on May 31st, 2011 at 11:12 am

“And so he begins the tally for the culling. We should leave before he completes it, so he doesn’t force us to participate.”

Vellocet said on May 31st, 2011 at 11:32 am

Ole Wafflehead is still new to the peepin’ game.

Jane said on May 31st, 2011 at 11:37 am

That’s what we call overcompensation.

Tice with a J said on May 31st, 2011 at 12:28 pm

“The only way to survive on this island is to appease the smoke master, and it demands sacrifice. Dilton, I think I have found the perfect candidate.”

R.A. Bartlett said on May 31st, 2011 at 4:22 pm

“He covets. That is his nature. And how do we begin to covet, Dilton? Do we seek out things to covet? We begin by coveting things we see everyday…”

That Guy said on May 31st, 2011 at 4:38 pm

“You have to admire the lengths he goes to just to provide beards for Reggie and himself.”

Prodigal said on May 31st, 2011 at 5:13 pm

“No, Dilton, I don’t know why the crawlspace in Archie’s house smells bad either…”

buzz said on May 31st, 2011 at 5:20 pm

…and that’s why this side of the board is labeled “bald”.

The Crazed Spruce said on May 31st, 2011 at 6:43 pm

Someone should tell this guy that stalkers are supposed to be subtle….

Eric S. Smith said on May 31st, 2011 at 6:45 pm

“He adds a tick to the ‘Red Heads’ category every time he glimpses himself in one of his mirrors, so the numbers are garbage.”

Lia said on May 31st, 2011 at 7:05 pm

“The eugenics program is really paying off!”

Joe X said on May 31st, 2011 at 7:44 pm

“I see you got a volunteer to count victims for your mechanical shark project.”

Odd King said on May 31st, 2011 at 8:54 pm

Misogyny? Ageism? Fat Prejudice? It’s just a circus to stop us from asking where all the black people went.

Jason said on May 31st, 2011 at 9:09 pm

“What’s the lesson? That it’s okay to treat women like sex objects as long as you’re totally awesome about it.”

mimic91 said on June 1st, 2011 at 12:31 am

“He does know they’re all underage, right?”

–OR, TO FOLLOW AN OLD MEME–

“Christ, what an asshole.”

Hrolfk said on June 1st, 2011 at 6:40 am

So while we sink in this quicksand I’ll explain the ‘erection’ at the end of the beach.

chris said on June 1st, 2011 at 9:08 am

It’s actually a laser. See? He burned my nipples off.

Burke said on June 1st, 2011 at 3:21 pm

“But who’s having more fun? Can he answer me that?”

The Unstoppable Gravy Express said on June 1st, 2011 at 3:42 pm

“No, you see, Dilton, the arm-mirror is so that he can keep scanning the beach while he’s jerking it; this allows for constant stimuli and OH DEAR LORD WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SUN?!!??? IT’S ALL BLUE AND ORANGE AND SWIRLY AND… OH FUCK!! IT’S THE END, DILTON!!! THE END OF EVERYTHING!!!!”

MarvinAndroid said on June 1st, 2011 at 6:19 pm

“And that is precisely the goal of your morality, the duty that your code demands of you. Give to that which you do not enjoy, serve that which you do not admire, submit to that which you consider evil-surrender the world to the values of others, deny, reject, renounce your self. Your self is your mind; renounce it and you become a chunk of meat ready for any cannibal to swallow.”

Doyle said on June 1st, 2011 at 6:32 pm

“I still can’t believe he’s just letting them all drown.”

Stig said on June 1st, 2011 at 6:39 pm

SOMEDAY SON

ALL THIS WILL BE YOURS

BUT FIRST IT MUST BE MINE

Quixon said on June 2nd, 2011 at 3:49 am

“See, THIS is the shit you don’t do. Just go talk to them, for God’s sake don’t catalog while there’s tail to be had.”

Greg Morrow said on June 2nd, 2011 at 2:03 pm

A careful census beforehand will enable the final solution to be carried out more efficiently.

The Unstoppable Gravy Express said on June 2nd, 2011 at 2:51 pm

“Ah, let him do what he wants. This whole universe is getting rebooted next month anyway.”

Stig said on June 2nd, 2011 at 4:28 pm

“Of course, he got MINE because these pecs are sharp enough to cut lemons on, but I don’t get why he went after you, Dilton. Even WITH legs, you couldn’t get a gay seagull to fuck you.”

KDBryan said on June 3rd, 2011 at 5:57 pm

“Well, Dilton, he stole the idea from a Batman comic where- oh, never mind. Look, he’s going to ask you to become ‘The Girl Watcher of Riverdale High’. Just do me a favor and humor him until his thorazine kicks in.”

David said on June 6th, 2011 at 3:44 am

Sure, it’s all fun and games until Betty strafes this beach. That’s what the trench is for…

piranhtachew said on June 6th, 2011 at 10:35 pm

“And that’s why there’s been so many side view mirrors stolen. Let’s leave before Veronica comes here and buries him up to his ankles.”

mitch said on June 7th, 2011 at 1:18 am

“I can’t believe this series is still being published!”

some guy said on June 11th, 2011 at 11:36 pm

and here we see justification for ever negative male stereotype.

Ripley’s Improve It… or Archie!

Related Articles

37 users responded in this post

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Search

Contact

MGKontributors

The Big Board

MGKlassics

Blogroll

Donate

Archives

Meta

Tweet Machine

Recent Posts

Recent Comments