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The Crazed Spruce said on June 13th, 2012 at 9:16 am

“Serves her right for playing ‘Great Balls of Fire’ at a Jerry Falwell revival meeting.”

“Yep. She’s hellbound for sure, now.”

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“But it’s only page 3! What’ll she do for the rest of the issue?”

“Sacrifice kittens, mostly.”

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Odd King said on June 13th, 2012 at 9:43 am

This is so derivative of mid twentieth century Warner Brothers animations! I don’t understand how anyone here can be applauding!

I think that outfit makes her look fat. And stupid.

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MarvinAndroid said on June 13th, 2012 at 9:50 am

“Then I saw what was wrong with the world, I saw what destroyed men and nations, and where the battle for life had to be fought. I saw that the enemy was an inverted morality-and that my sanction was its only power. I saw that evil was impotent-that evil was the irrational, the blind, the anti-real-and that the only weapon of its triumph was the willingness of the good to serve it. Just as the parasites around me were proclaiming their helpless dependence on my mind and were expecting me voluntarily to accept a slavery they had no power to enforce, just as they were counting on my self-immolation to provide them with the means of their plan-so throughout the world and throughout men’s history, in every version and form, from the extortions of loafing relatives to the atrocities of collective countries, it is the good, the able, the men of reason, who act as their own destroyers, who transfuse to evil the blood of their virtue and let evil transmit to them the poison of destruction, thus gaining for evil the power of survival, and for their own values-the impotence of death. I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.'”

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Death was now armed with a new terror. – Lord Brougham.

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“Why are all the men smiling in here?”
“She’s obviously about to lose her top. All right.”

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“YOU CALL THAT AVANT-GARDE?!”

“GEORGE ANTHEIL DOES THIS BETTER THAN YOU!”

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damanoid said on June 13th, 2012 at 1:25 pm

“Sweetie, I just can’t concentrate on this stage show while Bill Cosby is sitting right behind me!”

“Don’t worry honey, I’ll distract him with Picture Pages while you make a run for it.”

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Mitchell Hundred said on June 13th, 2012 at 3:15 pm

-So that radioactive piano is giving her superpowers?
-Hopefully now she’ll stop mangling this Rachmaninoff.

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I knew we shouldn’t have taken her to that Cee Lo Green concert!

-Whatever you do don’t let her see Daft Punk!

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“George, you KNEW she was going to do this when you invited me here!”

“A bet’s a bet, Agnes! Tonight you wear the duck suit!”

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“HOLY CRAP! LIBRACE’S GHOST!!!”

“Dear, if that were true, there would be a male pianist getting violated on the bench.”

(*sigh* Yes, I did rip off Robot Chicken for that bit.)

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GoatToucher said on June 13th, 2012 at 6:38 pm

“Wow, the audience is really “flipping out” for this performa—”

“DON’T. Just -don’t-, Marjorie.”

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GoatToucher said on June 13th, 2012 at 6:40 pm

“Oh, my god, Ralph! I told you Howard Stern was stalking me!”

“Ba-Ba-Booey!”

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Anticorium said on June 14th, 2012 at 11:22 am

“You’ve changed, hologram Tupac. You’ve changed.”

“Maybe if we tweet about this, Coachella will give us a refund.”

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‘I guess this is better in 3D.’

‘But 30% darker, and giving me a headache. Film making is about story first, Maude, story.’

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‘Oh, you said rotating PIANIST!’

‘I thought you seemed eager to come along.’

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The Unstoppable Gravy Express said on June 14th, 2012 at 2:35 pm

“I don’t understand what’s happening. Is she pregnant or being kidnapped?”

“I’m not sure, but if the piano attempts to rape her, this story will be FUCKING AWESOME!”

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Odd King said on June 15th, 2012 at 1:36 pm

We are but a dream–a conjuration that will vanish when the music stops.

I like to think we are the music, and only need to wait to be played again.

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William Kendall said on June 15th, 2012 at 1:48 pm

“Why is the Invisible Woman turning that piano and the player upside down?”

“How should I know? I keep wondering why Gwen Stacy’s still alive, since she died back in the seventies. Oh, wait, we’re in the wrong comic book universe.”

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“Dear, did you replace my birth control pills with LSD again?”

“Fuck yes, baby! The COLORS!”

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‘I’m just saying they should have to buy a seat each no matter how small they are.’

‘Oh, stop going on about the 3 Hobbits in the seat next to you and watch the show will you!’

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“She’s lifting this whole bit from Victor Borge.”

“But with panache!”

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Opened these comments to check for “Roll Over, Beethoven” and found none.

I am ashamed of you all.

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Packerchu said on June 23rd, 2012 at 10:47 pm

“Dear, I’m sure the meme is ‘Play Freebird!’ ”

“But ‘Do a barrel roll’ is funnier.”

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