We’re cleaning out my parents’ house (they are downsizing) and in the process we are uncovering whole mountains of crap that probably should have been thrown out years ago and some things I am glad we did not (for example, I now have all of the family Lego in a giant Rubbermaid tub in my basement and it is a lot of Lego). Suffice it to say that in the near future there’s going to be some stuff for sale here: runs of comics, a Deluxe Go-Bot still in its original packaging, that sort of thing. (My mom found a Breyer horse she had never given one of my sisters when we were still kids and we checked its value and the only appropriate phrase is “SERIOUSLY?”)
Along with toys and the good stuff, there was of course the requisite pile of old school assignments my mom never threw out, because she’s our mom and that is generally what moms do. Most of it we trashed, but we all saved a few things, and I have scanned all of mine in for digital posterity. And so, today I present to you what was either a second or third grade assignment, wherein we were ordered to write and illustrate a book. And because time illuminates, I have taken it upon myself to annotate this seminal work.
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I don’t remember ever getting to do anything this fun in school. Which is probably good, as I would have been terrible at it.
There is a Black Hole remake coming, from the director who brought you Tron Legacy and Oblivion, and the writer of The Darkest Hour: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/disneys-black-hole-remake-lands-433034
You’ve shamed me, now, MGK (and L’il MGK — is it “L’il”? Really? Not “Li’l”? OK, I’ll take your word for it. Weird.) I shall have to convince my five-year-old son and Chaos Demon to finish the story he started writing last week, the name of which is entirely his own invention: Attack Of The Mutant Half-Alpaca Snakes. We got two pages written before my hands gave out on me. Must go back to it! Then get him to illustrate it. He does a cool alpaca.
I won’t hear any smack about David Eddings. Silk is basically my baseline for how to competently phone-in a snarky badass in as economical a manner as possible.
At least yours has original characters. I remember back in the long ago year of 2003 making a story project where Woody Woodpecker, Snoopy, the Cat in the Hat, and “baby” versions of the (animated) Teen Titans were all hanging out with little to no purpose. I was rather unimaginative as a 2nd grader.
Oh my God, we did a book like this in first grade (completely laminated). It was all based around the Disney version of Alice in Wonderland, and basically a retelling, except Alice looked completely different on every page.
I eagerly await the dark, gritty reboot! 🙂
I vote that the reboot be a Vertigo imprint, written by a very drunk Garth Ennis.
Man, this makes me nostalgic for the pre-reboot Numpiverse.
Reason #50 Why I Should Write “Legion of Super-Heroes”: The Return of Nump and the Superguards. (aka “Emergency Numpectomy”).
Coming this summer — The Nump 52!
I made Six Toed One Eyed Battery Operated Laser Sloths in 7th Grade: http://kirk.is/m/sloth/
(I also remade it a few years ago for 24 Hour Comics Day: http://kirk.is/features/sloths/ (in part because I realized the “hero” of the original was pretty much conduction a massacre)
you don’t like the following? It’s scream for literature!
@Cespinarve-
The tragedy of your statement is this:
Eddings wasn’t phoning it in. Not any of it. Everything he wrote was very literally the best he could do. He would spend hours doing research in order to try and properly capture verisimilitude.
It’s very depressing.
@Murc
The tragedy of YOUR statement is this:
I actually know that, and it makes me very sad, but god damnit if I don’t love every goofy moment anyways. Those books make me laugh even if I am aware that, plot-and-story-wise, they’re essentially a badly Xeroxed copy of Joseph Campbell with banter scribbled in the margins.
It’s very depressing.
I got so excited when I saw that title.
Thought it was terrible rapper MGK annotating a comic created by other terrible rapper Nump Trump.
This is good, too, though.
@Cespinarve-
What makes me sad about Eddings isn’t so much that they’re relentlessly Campbellian as the reactionary, might-makes-right ethos they embody.
Especially the Elenium/Tamuli. Sparhawk and Company are near-sociopathic, brutal, violent, theocratic autocrats whose saving grace is that they’re better at governing and less capricious than the ENTIRELY sociopathic, brutal, violent, theocratic autocrats they oppose.
I just read a couple of TPBs of Secret Avengers. This had better art and a more engaging story.
Nothing to say except this: on a day when I very desperately needed something to bring some joy and cheer to my life, I saw this. And for that, MGK, I thank you.
You’re a little too hard on yourself on the next to last page. Of course we’re not on Earth. He had to beat the maze to get a spaceship, so he clearly left the planet off panel between solving the maze (off panel) and finding Pit-Pat (off panel).
I wonder where my World War I alphabet book from 4th grade is? It was very dark for an elementary school GT assignment.
Now I’m wondering where the book I wrote for my 1st grade class project is (I seem to recall it was about snarky sheep. Or as snarky as a 6-year-old can write).
Also, I’m pretty sure that the power-jewel-holder is supposed to be billowing smoke after it’s deactivated, so Li’l you wasn’t drawing it all that badly there, just suffering from a limited color palette.