– Blossom ran for five seasons, from 1991 to 1995. It was originally planned to run seven seasons, but after Perfect Strangers ran for eight seasons, the Gods of Television decided that there should not be a second “average at best, let’s be honest” sitcom that would run longer than I Love Lucy, Leave It To Beaver, Barney Miller, Taxi and Sanford and Son. The producers wisely obeyed the Gods of Television, who awarded the producers of Blossom with manna and honey.
– “Opinionation” is actually a scientific term meaning “I think so, but I am not willing to stake my professional credibility on that belief.”
– Michael Stoyanov, who played Blossom’s older brother Tony, has no connections whatsoever to the Spetsnaz and it would ludicrous to suggest that. Ludicrous.
– “Blossom Russo” is an anagram of “Our Moss Slobs” and maybe this means something.
– There were 114 episodes of Blossom. Of these, 173 were “very special” episodes dealing with real social issues in a comedic yet respectful way. This discrepancy has never been fully explained. A mathematician, Henry Snord, who attempted to study this mathematical quandary committed suicide in 2002. His suicide note is simply the phrase “…but Six?” repeated eleven times, with his handwriting growing looser and less defined with each repetition.
– Joey Lawrence was forced to stop saying “whoa!” in 1998 following an honor-duel with Keanu Reeves.
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There was a guy doing his PhD thesis on the social history of great swamp beasts at UCLA in the Oughts. Supervisor was a hotshot in Dracula studies.
Then Stanford snatched the supervisor away, and a Princeton thesis on the same subject dropped, and he ditched the programme and went to work as an ice road trucker. True story.
By History Channel standards, anyway.
So that’s why Keanu doesn’t do too many movies, he’s busy with all the honor-duels…
The Gods of Television had a highly exaggerated opinion of My Three Sons, then.
And someone clearly has killed them all and usurped their heavenly throne at some point between Blossom and 2 1/2 Men…
But what about the hats?
@Jeff R.: “Two and a Half Men” isn’t an ‘average at best’ sitcom, it’s a horrible sitcom. Big difference, in the eyes of the Gods of Television.
@Sean C.: So what you’re saying is that “Two and a Half Men” is actually a punishment inflicted upon us by the Gods of Television, and it will last until we humble ourselves before the Gods and start watching better shows instead?
It is the punishment that perpetuates itself! It is anti-life!
Only 173? I was sure it was MUCH higher….
@Tice with a J: Y’know, that would explain SO much….
Sean C.: In that case, it’s HIMYM that proves that they’re slipping.
so who do i have to sacrifice to in order to keep Hannibal on the air?
For every Real Housewives spinoff that succeeds, we are cursed with another season of Two And A Half Men.
But what of Joey’s abortive rap career?