MALCOLM GLADWELL: So you see, Janey, you’re playing Go Fish incorrectly if you want to play it as efficiently as possible.
JANEY: But I want twos.
MALCOLM GLADWELL: But you asked for twos last round! Since I did not have twos, and since I have only drawn one more card, it’s highly unlikely that this most recent card was a two – in fact, we can calculate its likelihood exactly. We have played six cards between us, I have five cards in my hand and you have eight. That’s nineteen cards before I add my most recent card after you ask for twos, and since I previously had no twos and you have only one two – I assume, since you have played no twos – that means there are three twos in the remaining thirty-three cards, which means you only have a one in eleven chance of correctly getting a two if you ask for a two at this point. Maybe you should ask for another number?
JANEY: *starts crying*
ISAIAH: I want juice.
MALCOLM GLADWELL: Is it possible that you only think you want juice because seven other children so far in the class have asked for juice? Maybe you are being unknowingly coerced by Danny, who wants juice and is what we call a “connector,” because he is friends with so many other children. Danny’s desire for juice reflects on everyone he knows, and some of them in turn decide that they want juice.
ISAIAH: I don’t want juice now.
MALCOLM GLADWELL: Fascinating!
MALCOLM GLADWELL: The wheels on the bus go –
CLASS: Round round round!
MALCOLM GLADWELL: Excellent! See, what you did there was called “thin-slicing” – you continued the song from your own limited life experiences and limited knowledge. You know that wheels go round, so you finish the song yourself!
SHERRY: It was on Sesame Street yesterday.
MALCOLM GLADWELL: That still works.
LACEY: Mark’s hitting me!
MALCOLM GLADWELL: Lacey, you need to deal with Mark by out-innovating him.
LACEY: OW!
MALCOLM GLADWELL: Oh, dear. That looked unpleasant. Lacey, it may end up that you are what we call a “direct hit,” and a “near miss” like Joey over there who Mark hasn’t noticed yet will be the one to out-innovate Mark, by using you as an example of what not to do.
LACEY: OW!
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The analysis of Go Fish! is incomplete.
(First of all, many rulesets suggest you have to have all 4 to play the “book” of that denomination — I assume Malcolm and Janey are playing a variant?)
Asking for a certain card promises holding one. Thus, if the opponent draws it – they will instantly ask for it and get to go again. So there is some overlooked upside from preventing this, as well as some overlooked incentive to avoiding completely describing one’s hand.
I’m not saying these factors add up to continually asking for the same card, but surely Malcolm would mention them.
The noise sounds emitted from Malcolm Gladwell’s face hole have always tickled my amygdala in a particular manner, invoking the musculature motion of the superior and inferior rectus triggering the counter-clockwise rotation of retinas. I suspect this reaction may propagate out among the population generally, further triggering symptoms of nausea and narcolepsy. Sadly, further study is inhibited by trending waves of fresh-out-of-fucks-itis.
I have had the exact same conversation about Go Fish with my son (except he didn’t cry, he just kept asking for twos — or rather elephants, since it was animal Go Fish.)
You forgot the part where he neglects to mention he’s in the pocket of big tobacco and says that quitting smoking will hurt the pension system, so he gives all the kids free cartons of Kools.
So now MGK stands for Malcolm Gladwell’s Kindergarten?
That a man with that hair is seen is a serious thinker is (insert nihilistic pronouncement about current society here)
Yes, the nerve of someone with kinky hair not straighten it so as to be taken more seriously! Get some lye on that man’s head.
Wait, are Malcolm Gladwell and Malcolm Tucker not the same person?
Mind. Blown.
Yeah, Tucker is a lot more likeable.
Round round round? Is that a Canadian thing? Have I been singing this song wrong the entire time?
Its “round and round” right?
Seriously, I need to know.