A response to Glenn Beck

You mean that Glenn Beck is real? I thought the Onion made him up.

Reply

Wait, what did he say now? I stopped paying attention.

Reply

I can’t believe I watched that entire idiotic clip. Is Beck trying to frighten people into mass suicide?

Oh wait, he’s probably just trying to frighten them into xenophobia and adopting his crazy hardline stance against the rest of the world.

Reply

I just watched the Glen Beck clip. Is that man completely and utterly insane? Or does he merely earn a living talking to insane people?

Is he seriously thinking that France, Spain and Italy are about to become part of a Grand Caliphat? Is he seriously comparing what’s happening in London to the million people demonstrating in Cairo? Does he seriously think that Europe is about to fall into a civil war, leaving it open for Russian conquest?

The above are actually genuine questions. I’ve never watched Glen Beck before, being from a country blessed with not having Fox News.

Reply

http://youtubedoubler.com/WKRi

So there’s that.

Reply

Damnit, you’re asking me to watch Glen Beck. In the interest of me not having a stroke from pure rage, can someone supply a cliff notes version of whatever he was spewing?

Reply

@chibikonatsu

I will give you the Cliff notes version, because it really, really, really is unhinging to watch Glen Beck’s drivel.

In short: Egypt will go the way of Iran, just with Sunnis instead of Shias. So will the rest, or at least a large part of, the Sunni world. Meanwhile, the Muslims of Europe, particularly those of the mediterranean countries, will revolt, introducing a Grand Califate consisting of the North African countries, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Syria, France, Italy and Spain. This is part of a Islamist/Marxist conspiracy. The Russians will grab the opportunity to invade Europe, while the Chinese will grab Pakistan and Afghanistan.

DISCLAIMER: The above drivel is not mine, but Glen Beck’s. I am referring what he says, not in any way agreeing or condoning his ravings. Nonetheless, even reading this shortened version is liable to make you more stupid.

Reply

Long Shorter version of that Video:

Basically Egypt is on the verge of being ruled by a tricameral quasi-democratic/oligarhy/theojudiciary system of government, and then Egypt is going to invade Iraq so as to create a new persian empire, and then come into conflict with Hezbullah’s invasion of Israel through Iraq, as Hezbullah have secretly ruled Iran all along and will thus have to move their armies through iraq to reach israel.

Then the ousting of the government in Tunisia will lead to a coalition of the nations of serbia, austria, turkey and most of the middle east declaring war on Bosnia and Herzegovina, leading to russia declaring war on the coalition, leading to germany declaring war on russia, leading to france declaring war on germany and the coalition, leading to italy declaring war on france and russia, leading to the UK, india, canada, australia, south africa, kenya, nigeria, the gambia, hong kong, pakistan and many many other countries, declaring war on italy and everyone other than france and russia.

Also: The current tunisia riots are the cause of last year’s anti-student-fee demonstrations in the UK. I can’t unpack what the fuck that is about because Beck has apparently already “told” us about that, and didn’t want to rehash it in that particular video.

Reply

I watched the first thirty seconds of it and then remembered why I can’t watch Beck. Every time he uses the word “progressives” while looking like he’s about to vomit it makes ME want to vomit.

Sorry the progressives robbed you of your chance to own slaves, Glenn.

Reply

The problems in France were about the Retirement Age being risen, right? How’s that connected to Muslims?

Oh, wait, this is Glen Beck. This is just crazy talk. Seriously, his rantings are like a homeless guy. “The Radical Islamists and Commies are working together to steal from my secret booze stash in my sock draw! It’s true, I tells ya!”

Reply

Beck considers himself an “entertainer”.

Basically, he’s doing a right-wing “parody” of Stephen Colbert, thereby causing Ouroboros to pull us all into a black hole of suck.

Reply

If it’s any consolation, Beck’s ratings have apparently been in freefall for the last year. He’s lost almost half his (admittedly huge) audience.

You can only cry “ARMAGEDDON” so many times before people stop listening to you. Even the kinds of people who would listen to Beck.

Reply

It’s really not fair to compare anyone’s potential Russian resistance to the Finns, except for maybe that bear that served in the Polish army. That bear would kick Russia’s ass so hard.

Reply

Playing “Risk”, with Glenn Beck must be a living hell.

Reply

I like how he constantly rags on the “media”, apparently not noticing that he’s a part of it.

Reply

@ cubic_balloon: I don’t know, he writes a hell of a post-game summary, really gets into character and everything. What, you people thought he was commenting on recent events or something?

Reply

Beck, Palin, Westboro….

Remember when your school teacher would tell you to ignore the jokers in your class because paying attention to them was “encouraging them”. Well watching Beck gives him attention, and attention (good or bad) makes him his money.

“But he’s saying something crazy and wrong!” And this is different from last year? Or the year before that? Or the year before that? (I don’t think anybody heard of Beck before Obama hit the stage, but Coulter was still around)

At this point I think Beck is right in that his shows do provide a certain form of entertainment. There’s a lot of people who hate everything he says, but can’t stop watching him. They must be getting something out of it? Maybe news commentary took a page from wrestling in a way, and Beck (along with a good chunk of Fox News) is a “heel”?

Reply