Variety is reporting that Eli Roth, director of such fine films as Hostel and Cabin Fever and Kill Killy McKillerson, has signed on to direct an episode of Heroes. Luckily, due to my massively awesome connections (don’t you wish you had connections?), I have already managed to read the script for his episode, and as a tidbit for my readership, I pass on this excerpt:
—
A darkened room, somewhere in the depths of the abandoned factory. CLAIRE is strapped, spread-eagled, to an operating table. MATT is tied up in a chair facing away from her. The mutilated, torn-apart body of ANDO lies piled up on a rusty cart nearby, next to a chainsaw.
CLAIRE: Matt, I… I don’t know how much more of this I can take.
MATT: Don’t worry, Claire. I “heard” Hiro earlier. He’s going for help. At least I think he is. He was thinking half in Japanese, half in English. He might’ve been stressed.
CLAIRE: I just want it to be over.
Suddenly, the door swings open, and A MAN IN A BUTCHER’S APRON WIELDING A RUSTY HOOK enters. He is wearing a mask made from the skin of unwanted babies.
MATT: No, you monster! Stop it!
RUSTY HOOK MAN stalks deliberately over to Claire.
CLAIRE: No! No! Stop cutting out my kidneeeeeeeees!
RUSTY HOOK MAN jams his RUSTY HOOK into Claire’s belly. She SCREAMS. Matt ALSO screams, because he can telepathically feel her pain and it hurts, oh it hurts so much.
More SCREAMING, and finally RUSTY HOOK MAN puts his FILTHY HAND into the hole in Claire’s belly and RIPS OUT HER KIDNEYS. She starts healing almost immediately as she cries.
MATT: Goddamn you! You son of a – I’ll kill you if I -
RUSTY HOOK MAN turns sharply and stares dead-eyed at Matt, then strides over towards him and pulls Matt’s head back sharply and raises the hook -
- and then he stops, and we pan down, and his HEART is in D.L.’s hands, still beating its horrible beats! D.L. is horribly wounded and missing one eye and one ear and one nipple.
D.L.: Chew on that, you bastard!
—
I, for one, cannot wait.
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5 users responded in this post
Oy. And I was so looking forward to Season 2 as well from the opener.
(BTW, it’s DL, not DK. Hate to nitpick, but there it is.)
I blame the Farscape marathon I attended last week!
It’s not Roth-y enough. No icky sexual overtones juxtaposed with the ultraviolence.
Oh, come on. The hinted multiple-rape of Claire wasn’t enough in that regard?
The difference between you and Roth, Chris, is that you understand the nuance of hinting. I mean, I hate to be too much of a stickler, but I just can’t stand Eli fricking Roth.