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mightybaldking said on September 10th, 2008 at 9:18 am

Sweet. I’m particularly impressed with “The Whitey Tape.” Powerful card that.

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As much as I’m a progressivist, I gotta say, if we could just tap the sheer mass of libido that surfaces from time to time in the democratic leadership…. well, hey, fuck oil!

I’m sure we could get it from republicans, too — I would never think to slight Karl Rove’s Lovecraftian fecundity. But it probably smells like your grandma’s house and would make children age 9 to 14 feel “ookey”.

Sadly, none of these register the same quotable awesome that is Ron Paul, but the legendary lands are a nice touch. Tendency to Blatantly Lie would go great in a millstone deck.

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“All those appealing to me for a “more [ideologically] balanced” set of cards probably should have thought about who they were asking for a second.”

If they think this is unbalanced, they should see all the card proposals I made that didn’t get used.

Two Words: Shotgun Wedding

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mygif

I’ll admit, I don’t understand Magic rules, but these cards are AWESOME.

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“Starman”: The fact that Palin, on this weeks issue of Newsweek, had a shotgun held across her shoulder tells me that that card is more true then anyone could possibly imagine. Also, what’s the age of conscent in Alaska? If her daughter is 15, 16 and the boyfriend is 18, then why isn’t he in handcuffs? The only reason I can think of is that Palin gave him a “Marry her or face prison rape” ultimatum.

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CandidGamera said on September 10th, 2008 at 10:58 am

I wish I’d had more time to contribute cards, but at least one of my two got in. ;)

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The Whitey type is f’ing amazing.

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I’m still very in love with the Kucinich card.

You needed to do a card for his wife, who is also awesome.

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Cookie McCool said on September 10th, 2008 at 12:35 pm

That’s a brilliant picture of Cheney. I may not sleep for weeks now for extra fear of him. Thanks!

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Lister Sage,

I did not know that about the Newsweek cover. I think I may have to use that picture myself if I continue this trend and make my own designs on my personal blog.

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Michael John McGee said on September 10th, 2008 at 1:13 pm

Heaven on a bun.

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Lister Sage said on September 10th, 2008 at 1:42 pm

Justin Mohareb: If by “awesome” you mean awesomely hot.

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El Chupacabra said on September 10th, 2008 at 3:56 pm

>>FYI: All those appealing to me for a “more [ideologically] balanced” set of cards probably should have thought about who they were asking for a second.

True, some of us may have mistaken you for somebody funny.

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Lister Sage – “Also, what’s the age of conscent in Alaska? If her daughter is 15, 16 and the boyfriend is 18, then why isn’t he in handcuffs?”

The age of consent in Alaska is 16, and Bristol Palin is currently 17.

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Lister Sage said on September 10th, 2008 at 4:46 pm

Kingfisher: Ah, thanks.

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Lister Sage: That is exactly what I meant. Although she’d be a great first lady.

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True, some of us may have mistaken you for somebody funny.

This just in: funny people are required not to have opinions about things.

Also, the reason there are so few examples of quality political humor with a conservsative slant is that the goddamn Jews liberals control the media.

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Just think – if those evil LIBRULS didn’t control Hollywood, there would be more films like An American Carol.

Shudder.

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“All those appealing to me for a “more [ideologically] balanced” set of cards probably should have thought about who they were asking for a second.”

These people also need to be A) more secure in the correctness of their beliefs to allow alternative opinions and 2) remember what this blog is about. Most people who come here don’t do it for political discourse and anyone shallow or vapid enough to be influenced here probably weren’t doing your ideology much good in the first place.

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Ah, I applaud your use of the Gabbo still for the “open mike” card. Beautiful! :D

Great Ivins quote too.

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Very clever, as usual, but…wait….are you implying that Columbus *isn’t* the spiritual center of the nation? I mean, I know the old “So Help Me God Church of Christ” was torn down, but still…

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[...] The inevitable sequel. Tell The World: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and [...]

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[...] Christopher Bird is still making Magic cards about the US election. [...]

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Tom Whitmore said on September 11th, 2008 at 7:22 pm

I particularly like the expansion symbol. It’s attention to details like that which carry this beyond the simply amusing to the Serious Fun level. And the cards are fun, and mostly playable. Another person loving The Whitey Tapes; nicely subtle there.

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Merk Temporis said on September 11th, 2008 at 11:36 pm

“The Whitey Tape” is frackin BROKEN in a multi-player game; only ONE opponent needs to be at zero life for the player to win.

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@Merk Temporis: not really an issue. This card set is only allowed under ‘two party system’ rules.

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Oh, I imagine someone could gimmick together a “third party” deck. You’d never win with it, but that’s not the point.

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Hm. No green cards. Speaking of “third party” decks… :)
Also, was there any kind of consistency in the use of white cards, by the way? Black is pretty straightforward as examples of assholish political skulduggery, but white? Who knows?
I assume the “California” card’s drawback refers to our annual/current budget crisis? :)

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mygif

Dude, I LOVE these. You should make more (again!)

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You should really add a link for a proxy print,. So a wisitor could easily print up some 8 cards per page. I do actually have a strong urge to play with those beauties.

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These are epic.

My only question–where on earth is the Ann Coulter card? ;)

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This is genius. Fantastic job.

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Myspace filtered this site (more specifically a direct link to the original magic cards post) as a virus source. would not let a friend post this in their bulletins.

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Ha! I should have come here first before we designed our Obama card game. Probably could have added some really cool ideas. Anyways, check it out if you get a chance.

http://www.ObamaCardGame.com

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absolutroot said on February 16th, 2009 at 12:19 am

i was with ya until you made fun of Stallman. asshole.

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Happy2pester said on April 27th, 2009 at 7:50 pm

These Are Awesome! I’m printing them off and playing them tomorrow, just to see my friends go WTF?

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Happy2pester said on April 27th, 2009 at 7:51 pm

PS – also, did you use a specific program to make these cards or did you just photoshop them?

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To bad the scumbag that made these cards sexually assaulted the only girl that ever cared about him, and has now abducted her. She went missing Tuesday. Proof positive of the mental frailty and mental dysfunction of these righty creeps.

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oops, is this the same Christopher bird?

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