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mygif

The hippos aren’t lazy. Oh no, they’re just biding their time.

Who do you think REALLY causes global warming, anyway?

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Lister Sage said on March 18th, 2009 at 1:11 pm

I going to quote Leonard as well: “Man, this is the best ‘Elseworlds’ ever.”

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mygif

effective scatterer of light

True, but is ultraviolet light mainly, so we’d still be able to see them. And in any case I guess we could hear them.

Anyway is not really sweat, but a mucous secretion. I saw once in a Discovery Channel show that they need the continuosly wet enviroment to live.

Could be a real issue in places like Seattle, though.

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Angelophile said on March 18th, 2009 at 1:30 pm

Hippos kill more people per year than any other animal. We’re not /that/ lucky. The buggers graze on land at dusk can run up to 40mph and frequently do when they feel threatened. A hippo won’t eat you, but it will chew you to pieces and then spit you out.

Those are your hippo facts for the day.

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mygif

“Could be a real issue in places like Seattle, though.”

Or Vancouver….

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mygif

Damn, someone beat me to the hippo-kills statistic (though I thought it was only in Africa).

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mygif

Should we be thankful the Waynes didn’t take Bruce to the zoo that fateful night?

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Sage Freehaven said on March 18th, 2009 at 2:55 pm

“Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamous?” — Mitch Hedberg

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mygif

I’m just picturing sullen teenage Bruce being asked to take out the garbage, and when he finally does so after a long argument, he walks out in the rain. As he drops the garbage into the can, a bolt of lightning flashes across the sky, and in a moment of extreme teen angst he screams “MY PARENTS ARE ALIVE!”

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mygif

It’s true, hippos are horrible, vicious creatures.

The late Steve Irwin, a man who used to tackle 12-foot crocodiles for fun and wave angry snakes filled with kill-you-before-your-next-heartbeat poison at a camera, considered a five-minute sequence where his camera team had to cross a river filled with hippos to be the single most dangerous moment ever filmed on his show.

The man who toyed with crocodiles, was scared shitless of hippos.

As well he should have been. Hippos bully crocodiles, kick the shit out of them, decide to chase them around.

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mygif

That Batman stuff is funny, but the overuse of “all” made me want to hurt myself.

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Master Mahan said on March 18th, 2009 at 7:38 pm

Technically, mosquitoes kill more people, but they do it indirectly. But yes, hippopotamuses are scary bastards. You don’t want to mess with something that can weigh four tons and still run faster than you.

Plus, they twirl their tail around when they defecate, creating a massive shower of shit. The Predator never did that, except in a couple of Dark Horse comics.

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mygif

Scary thing is, hippos have been observed chowing down on meat in the wild, particularly during times of drought. It’s just generally less effort and risk of overheating to nom veggies. And they’re not above cannibalism. Yeep!

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mygif

Are you saying hippos are hungry? And also, hungry?

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sonofzeal said on March 19th, 2009 at 1:56 am

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:HippoJaw.jpg

^ I think this one’s hungry….

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DistantFred said on March 19th, 2009 at 2:34 am

Along with “I SHOULD BUY A CIRCUS!” the high points of the Bruce Wayne: Argument Against Inheritance discussion there are the Bernie Madoff comparisons, and the “Too annoying for the Joker to kill” bits.

You kind of have to figure that given the way his character played out normally (by dressing up in a goofy suit and “avenging” his parents by arresting the same 8 dudes over, and over, and over again, to the point where he is psychologically incapable of even just letting any of the die) that he’d be just fully committed to using his money for whatever petty obsessions he came up with.

———————-
Skemono: One thinks he should have been afeared of rays a touch more, given his fate.

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mygif

Thanks to MGK, hippos are the new bears.

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DistantFred said on March 19th, 2009 at 3:37 am

Supergp: No, they are Africa’s Bears. Africa is the only continent without bears. It’s also the only continent with Hippos. There’s likely some kind of treaty agreement about this between them; Hippos get Africa, Bears get the other continents, Antarctica is left to the penguins.

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mygif

Does Australia have bears?

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mygif

I Googled it, and turns out there ARE bears in Australia. Koala bears anyway, I didn’t really see anything on other kinds of bears, but oh well.

Also, there apparently used to be bears in North Africa, but they have all been killed out.

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mygif

Australia has koala bears and drop bears.

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VersasoVantare said on March 19th, 2009 at 7:09 pm

I guess the Hippos just ran the bears off of the continent.

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Genevieve said on March 20th, 2009 at 4:30 am

Though hippos mourn their dead during the day, it’s when they think we can’t see that they feast. And not only are they not above cannibalism, they get anthrax poisoning from it.

By my faultless American reasoning, this makes hippos the new WMDs/suicide bombers for the Taliban(imal).

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