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mygif

I know everyone’s talking about Quislet (and with good reason) but man, I’d love to have this guy at my workplace. Seriously, ‘i scaped the land as a lanscaper’ that’s just brilliant.

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mygif

I love this man deeply.

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mygif

“I rock pretty hard…I am adept at taking care of business.” And working overtime?

The mustard thing reminds me of the girl they had on Maury who had a severe, debilitating phobia of pickles.

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mygif

Having “420” in your e-mail address does tend to limit your employment prospects.

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mygif

“My work ethic is strong only when required.” Hey, mine too!

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mygif

“I am also pretty sure I worked at a Dairy Queen for a day, but again I’m not really too sure.”

Well, I guess if you’re seasonally occupied, I suppose things can get a little misty on you, Mister.

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mygif

I just recently had to weed through over a dozen boring applicants for a new hire, and I sincerely wish to Christ any of them had submitted a resume like this. When you’re trying to hire based on personality, it’s a pain in the ass that everyone uses the same bullshit language in their resumes and cover letters.

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mygif

Cookie: When most employers stop responding to the usual bland reassurances of competence, us jobseekers will stop using them.

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mygif

Super, we are looking for proactive self-starting go-getters! Not namby-pamby “I’ll try it if you try it first” reactive pantywaists. Please edit your cover letter accordingly.

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mygif

I’m pretty sure that guy smokes enough weed to satisfy everyone in Phish and Sublime put together.

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mygif

Everyone says they want “proactive self-starting go-getters,” but few mean it. *shrug* Just in my experience.

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mygif
DistantFred said on November 5th, 2009 at 7:48 pm

Am I alone in thinking that this might be MGK trying to raise Flapjack’s ad’s exposure?

(Of course… that makes no sense… Flapjacks is only a construct of MGK’s mind.)

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mygif

Hell, I’d’ve hired a lazy bastard, I just wanted a lazy bastard I could like.

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mygif
Mary Warner said on November 6th, 2009 at 1:24 am

I don’t think I would want to work around mustard either. At least not close up. That smell really makes me sick.
Ketchup doesn’t bother me at all.
Or should that be ‘catsup’?

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mygif

I’ve only ever been punished or ridiculed for showing initiative at work.

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