“I can not work in an environment which requires me to deal with mustard in any capacity.”
I know everyone’s talking about Quislet (and with good reason) but man, I’d love to have this guy at my workplace. Seriously, ‘i scaped the land as a lanscaper’ that’s just brilliant.
I love this man deeply.
“I rock pretty hard…I am adept at taking care of business.” And working overtime?
The mustard thing reminds me of the girl they had on Maury who had a severe, debilitating phobia of pickles.
Having “420” in your e-mail address does tend to limit your employment prospects.
“My work ethic is strong only when required.” Hey, mine too!
“I am also pretty sure I worked at a Dairy Queen for a day, but again I’m not really too sure.”
Well, I guess if you’re seasonally occupied, I suppose things can get a little misty on you, Mister.
I just recently had to weed through over a dozen boring applicants for a new hire, and I sincerely wish to Christ any of them had submitted a resume like this. When you’re trying to hire based on personality, it’s a pain in the ass that everyone uses the same bullshit language in their resumes and cover letters.
Cookie: When most employers stop responding to the usual bland reassurances of competence, us jobseekers will stop using them.
Super, we are looking for proactive self-starting go-getters! Not namby-pamby “I’ll try it if you try it first” reactive pantywaists. Please edit your cover letter accordingly.
I’m pretty sure that guy smokes enough weed to satisfy everyone in Phish and Sublime put together.
Everyone says they want “proactive self-starting go-getters,” but few mean it. *shrug* Just in my experience.
Am I alone in thinking that this might be MGK trying to raise Flapjack’s ad’s exposure?
(Of course… that makes no sense… Flapjacks is only a construct of MGK’s mind.)
Hell, I’d’ve hired a lazy bastard, I just wanted a lazy bastard I could like.
I don’t think I would want to work around mustard either. At least not close up. That smell really makes me sick.
Ketchup doesn’t bother me at all.
Or should that be ‘catsup’?
I’ve only ever been punished or ridiculed for showing initiative at work.
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