Related Articles

31 users responded in this post

Subscribe to this post comment rss or trackback url
mygif

Whoa. When I first read the article title, I read it as “Jesus can control wands of wonder!” which, as I am both a minister and a dungeon master, immediately set my brain off on a very long dungeon crawling tangent. I need to wake up first before reading mgk.

ReplyReply
mygif
malakim2099 said on October 13th, 2010 at 10:27 am

Hey, I loved that article when I was in the ninth grade! ;)

Of course, now I look back, snicker a bit, and make sure no one sees my 4E books…

ReplyReply
mygif

Myrikhans, eh? Like, the ladyparts accessory?

ReplyReply
mygif

I totally remember that article, and I can’t believe you just did a post making fun of the idea of paramanders without mentioning that there was this alternate kind called a paremandyr that specifically went around killing powerful creatures of extreme alignment. Not sure about the spelling, but it definitely had an extra “y” in it, apparently on the theory that replacing random vowels with “y” makes any word more badass.

ReplyReply
mygif
Savage Wombat said on October 13th, 2010 at 12:11 pm

Oh god, I remember that article.

I’m so old.

ReplyReply
mygif

My favorite part of that article was the Chaotic Neutral fantra’s Strict Code of Conduct that prevented him from ever following any rules.

ReplyReply
mygif

I recall one of the classes got to use a d12 for hit points. Who cares about the rest of the fluff when they guy is getting more HP than the fighter?

Of course, they were for NPC use only. Which was why experience charts were included for each.

I’m tempted to send in my Dragon Magazine Archives to inspire more conversations with Flapjacks.

ReplyReply
mygif
Cookie McCool said on October 13th, 2010 at 12:58 pm

Oh man, I never thought I’d miss Dragon magazine. I’m glad I’m too awesome now to admit I bought the HELL out of that thing when I was a kid.

ReplyReply
mygif

I remember that one too, AND the jesters who can control wands of wonder. That alone makes them the most awesome character class EVAH.

ReplyReply
mygif

Am I the only one who envisions paramanders as some sort of paratrooper/salamander combo? I have to say I was a little disappointed that it wasn’t. I’m sure somewhere down the road Dragon Mag put out an article on precisely that and got pissed that they already used the name on meh-paladins (‘meh’ being the universal True Neutral battle cry)

ReplyReply
mygif

Wait, wait…you could play a courtesan?

Dear WotC: Please put this into 4.0 somehow. Love, Dayna

ReplyReply
mygif

I got the Dragon magazine where they have the 3rd edition versions of these. Fighting for neutrality seems kinda stupid, though. I wish they still published Dragon, it might even convince me to play 4th edition.

Anyway, Chris, what are you, too good to play D&D with your friend now that you’re a big shot lawyer?

ReplyReply
mygif

I probably have that article somewhere.

There’s little today that is as cool as the gaming we did back in the day, using all the strange stuff TSR threw at the wall to see if it stuck. We still have a hell of a lot of fun, but it’s a different kind of fun from the freewheeling stuff you do before you’ve learned better. These days we know that the Archer class from the old Dragon was way overpowered, and that overpowered is bad. In those days it was all part of the fun.

ReplyReply
mygif

I can’t think of anything other than the neutral planet in Futurama.

Do these paladins tell their wives they said “Hello”?

ReplyReply
mygif

Anyway, Chris, what are you, too good to play D&D with your friend now that you’re a big shot lawyer?

Being a lawyer has nothing to do with it. I’ve been too good to play D&D for years now.

ReplyReply
mygif
Jonathan Roth said on October 13th, 2010 at 11:43 pm

While first edition D&D writers never knocked themselves out striving for game balance (you can have shitloads of psionic powers in addition to your class abilities, or none at all, based on a roll of the dice!) I always wondered what was supposed to balance out the various versions of paladins that din’t have to hew to lawful good restrictions.

ReplyReply
mygif

Is there a particular reason to diss D&D or are you just moving to a new demographic?

ReplyReply
mygif
malakim2099 said on October 14th, 2010 at 11:39 am

Technically he’s dissing First Edition D&D.

And really, the article in question is rather silly.

*still hiding his 4E stuff*

ReplyReply
mygif

@malakim: Given that there quite probably is a good cross-over section between his usual readers and roleplayers, I am not sure what he wishes to convey here. “I am not as nerdy as YOU!”, mayhaps?

And 4E is not D&D. :p Go play Pathfinder, like a REAL roleplayer. ;)

ReplyReply
mygif

HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE ALIGNMENT MATRIX YOU MUST BE NEUTRAL EVIL TO BE SO HEARTLESS OR A SELFISH NEUTRAL OR POSSIBLY A POORLY-ROLEPLAYED GOOD WITH NEUTRAL TENDENCIES.

ReplyReply
mygif

“Fighting for neutrality seems kinda stupid, though.”

it’s a big thing in Micheal Moorcock. there’s that Knight of the Balance guy… can’t remember his name, but he’s awesome

ReplyReply
mygif

You know what’s sad?

1. On my Mac, I was able to open Spotlight and type ‘Paramander’ and get two hits: scans of Dragon Magazine.

2. And I have a physical copy of one of them within 20 feet of where I sit.

ReplyReply
mygif

@Jon H:

I find that less sad then Super Awesome…

ReplyReply
mygif

Also, both Mordenkainen (who’s nearly as much Gary Gygax’s “guy” as Xagyg) and Gord the Rogue are champions of neutrality, and they’re awesome.

ReplyReply
mygif
malakim2099 said on October 17th, 2010 at 3:47 am

And 4E is not D&D. :p Go play Pathfinder, like a REAL roleplayer. ;)

Just so there doesn’t get to be some weird diversion into a 4E v. PF flamewar on MGK’s page…

I do play Pathfinder too. I just prefer 4E for ease of use and flexibility with rules and roleplay. Also, it’s more team-oriented.

ReplyReply
mygif
Kingfisher said on October 17th, 2010 at 8:28 pm

Linking to an article on how worrying about Doctor Who canon is a dumb obstacle to enjoyment during a blogpost about rigid adherence to D&D alignments worked out rather well thematically.

ReplyReply
mygif
Robin Green said on October 18th, 2010 at 2:07 am

Reading that wiki article on paramanders and paremandyrs reminded me how much I hated the concept of druids as neutrals. However, it made paramanders sound a lot like druids who grew and decided “Hey, platemail is amazing!”
Unfortunately, you can’t talk about Paramander Club.

ReplyReply
mygif
Evil Abraham Lincoln said on October 18th, 2010 at 11:08 pm

And to think that people badmouthed me for not “getting into” D&D because I thought it was too complicated…

ReplyReply
mygif
Evil Abraham Lincoln said on October 18th, 2010 at 11:09 pm

Well, that and the fact that all three missions I designed involved my character becoming the king of Darkness, but that’s a whole different story…

ReplyReply
mygif

Have you guys ever gone wholly into new games and MMOs like WoW and 4E, and then gone back to good oldies like ultima, exodus for NES or old D&D?

There’s something to be said for the flavor and fun of those older systems over the newer ones. I never played original D&D, but I recently wanted a change from the stale design philosophy of “new” games, so I looked into it, and I definitely like what I see. There’s a distinct lack of homogenization and a strong emphasis on individuality unlike the new systems. Individuality for PCs or monsters is refreshing. OD&D reminds me a lot of Ultima: Exodus in that regard, of which I was an avid player.

ReplyReply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Please Note: Comment moderation may be active so there is no need to resubmit your comments