They see me rollin, they hatin…
Can I get the MGK seal of approval on this?
(I thought about you when I wrote that one.)
“…Yet even after the massive genetic realignment surgery, I STILL can’t choose between Betty & Veronica!”
“Play it safe, Arch, and maybe they’ll regurgitate your right forearm.”
“We did not cuddle. It was not gay.”
I hope adding these two to the orgy will finally be kinky enough to get Ronnie off!
Who would have thought it? Me, showing the King and Queen of Canada around Riverdale!
“SOMEDAY ALL THIS WILL BE MINE”
Step 2: Develop film.
Step 3: Arrange a private screening for Hiram “Herring-Bone” Lodge.
Step 4: Retire in blackmailicious luxury and never think about Step 1 ever, ever again.
“My mechanic said I was going to blow a seal, but I think I’ll take them to dinner and a movie first!”
“Ronnie’s gonna love my new two-headed mutant seal-dog… especially when she sees what ELSE it’s got two of!!”
I hope they do Kiss From a Rose next, this new stuff is too New Age for my taste.
“SUCK AMPHIBIOUS WOOD, you incongruously British old bastards! This is America!”
I’m ready to go back to the garage so they can check my seals.
Man, driving around teabaggers sure is fun!
“What’s this? Arctic Antics in my Automobile? Sea-lion Sexcapades in Scenic Small Town U.S.A.? Awful Allusions to an Adult Contemporary Aural Artist named for Aquatic Arfers? Stay tuned to find out!”
“Jughead sure has a weird shopping list, but I think I got a good deal!”
“They sure don’t make Push-Me-Pull-Yous like they used to!”
“Mythbusters was wrong!”
The guys at the garage said I had blown a seal. Well, they were half-right.
‘Christ, what an asshole.’
“Vote Rob Ford Oct. 25!”
That’s right kids, when you blow a seal you get arf and two doses of clap.
Now all I have to do is find Croft, and the concert can proceed as scheduled.
“When I found these seals yesterday, I called Mr. Weatherbee and asked what I should do with ‘em. He said take ‘em to the zoo.
“We had so much fun, today I’m taking ‘em to Disneyland.”
Laugh it up, überseehunden. Your moral relativism will be your downfall!
“These are the weirdest fucking dogs I have EVER seen.”
Finally! Now I can seal the deal with BOTH those fine ladies.
And some days, you kind of wake up and look around a little, and you realize “This is it. This is my life. This is who I am.” And you smile, then, because you have to. Just focus on holding that smile and not killing yourself, just for today. Just one day at a time.
“Look at me! I got the Seals of Approval!”
Too . . . too obvious?
Best. Weed. Ever.
“Who’d have guessed the Simaril were studs on seal collars? Oh well, Mr Lodge can’t say ‘no’ now!”
Those Newfoundlanders are bound to love me now!
You get a seal HERE, and a seal HERE…
“Finally I’m freaking out the squares. Take THAT, society!”
How does that go? Sealed with a kiss or kissed by a seal?
“But I SEAL haven’t found what I’m looking for!”
“First you get the seals… then you get the power… then you get the women.”
“This is what happens when we don’t plan far enough in advance for a crossover with Rex.”
If I can just keep these away from Jesus, the armageddon won’t happen!”
“I said fix the darn thing and leave my private life out of it.”
“That’s right, Snooki! Rep the Shore! Beak to beak, Situation! Beak to Beak!!!”
And they said I needed medication, funny right Jughead?
“Bitches don’t know, man. Bitches don’t know.”
The last one I cut open had a human hand, and with dilton paying top dollar for human organs, I should be able to afford dating Betty AND Veronica with these babies.
“All the cars in town are turning yellow, and that’s not even the strangest thing that’s happened today!”
And now to pick up Heidi and her clone!
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