“AAAGGHH! It burns my eyes! Mace!”
“Your sexualized response to identical quintuplet teenage girls was totally inappropriate.”
“No! Betty! What have you done?”
“Do not fear, all shall be one with us, and at last humanity shall know its true purpose. . .to worship Archie!”
“This is just horrific!”
“Hey, if you don’t like these Sabrina models, I have some 95s in the back lot.”
“I always thought the Democrats and Republicans were the same, but I never thought – !”
“Go on! Vote for a third party! Or a fourth! Or a FIFTH! BWAHAHAHAAHAH!”
“Get out of my head!”
“You cannot resist us. Stop fighting it.”
(Obligatory Children of the Damned reference goes here)
Archie as written by John Wyndham?
OEDIPUS: What grief can crown this grief? It’s mine alone, my destiny–I am Oedipus!
CHORUS: Better to die than be alive and blind.
“LEAVE MY SIGHT… and do not return until Galactica is destroyed!!”
“By your command.”
“Sabrina, I would sell my soul for a chance to participate in an orgy!”
“Can we have that in writing?”
“AAIEE! All the comments below… CENTRED!! I c-can’t look… WHY, LORD, WHY?!?!????”
“And that is but the MEREST demonstration of my power. For an encore, I shall now sing William Byrd’s Mass for 5 Voices… ALL BY MYSELF!!! BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!”
Hey, the comments aren’t centred any more. Disregard first line of dialogue in previous post. 🙁
“Oh God, the Weird Al Chorus is in town!”
“I think I’m a clone now…”
… Stepford Cuckoos?
“No! I wanted Japanese quintuplets!”
“You mean you never had a Swedish Bikini Team fantasy on your Bucket List?”
“42… 43… 44….”
“Sabrina plays to win, by any means necessary.”
“If I can’t see my coat, it doesn’t exist! If I can’t see my coat, it doesn’t exist!”
“I can see it. Gouging out my eyes so I don’t have to. Six down, four to go.”
“Aw, c’mon! I did that freaky ritual of yours just like that book said!”
“Dude, I don’t care how many evil mystical duplicates of me you summon, that sixsome just ain’t happening!”
It’s just what I have always wanted, thank you God!
No, you misunderstood what we meant when we said that we would serve Archie.
“Stepford Cuckoos… forcing me… to pull out… my eyes!”
“Write an erotic fanfic about -this-, ya wierdo!”
“Go away! God help me, I won’t look!!”
“Resistance is futile. You will be Sabrina-similated.”
“18 … 19 … 20! Ready or not, here I come!”
“I’m sure to win at hide-and-go-seek with this trick I picked up from Harry Potter!”
“You Nexus, huh? I design your eyes.”
“Jug, if only you could see what we’ve seen with your eyes!”
“NOOO! We finally purged all the Agent Smiths out of the Matrix, only now it’s being taken over by…”
“…ME, Agent Sabrina! Do you hear that sound, Mr. Andrews? It is the sound of inevitability. It is the sound… of your death.”
“Oh, God, not more leopard-print!”
“Well excuse us for being fashion forward!”
“Fear! Fear is the mind-killer!”
“Stay and play with us. For ever and ever and ever….”
“Kirk! You can’t do this to me! It’s inhuman!”
“Harcourt Fenton Mudd! Where have you been? What have you been up to?”
“Tax cuts! Secure the border! Save the unborn!”
“AAAHH! What did you do to me?!”
“You’ve been infected. Soon all will be SABRINA!”
“What horrible new things will I see in Grant Morrison’s reboot of the Marvel Universe?”
“Why, no changes at all. I’m still the same old Multiple Man. Just… prettier.”
“*Yawn* What did I miss?”
“Nothing! Why? What did you hear?”
Eli Balin: Nice!
I also especially enjoyed the entries from Lindsey, tinheart, and Thousand Sons.
“I hafta wear it — Grandma made it for me!”
“Mine knits me the same scarf every year!”
“I can’t believe the Sabrina clones want me for an orgy!”
“Come on, are you going to join us, or should we get started without you?”
“AW GAWD!! THE LEAFS SUCK!! THEY SUCK SO BAD!!! THEY SUCK THINGS THAT NOONE HAS EVER BEEN SUCKY ENOUGH TO SUCK BEFORE!!!! WHYYY?!?!???!!!”
“Not to worry — meet your new first line AND top defensive duo!”
And yes, gentle reader, the Sabrinas then led the Maple Leafs to 7 consecutive Stanley Cup championships, and all was made well again, for ever and ever.
“I’m sorry, girls…even after the doctors did so much…I can’t look at you without thinking…”
“So fucking what! Tom Six did more for us than you ever will!”
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