“Seven come eleven! Mommy needs a new pair of Jimmy Choos!”
A freind gave me these pills once, and I could actually hear the sounds! Music! Words! No more reading in the air! No more picking up the mess after! Doesn’t that just blow your mind, Reggie?
“You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like… and then… spank me.”
“Darn! Almost managed to rip my way out of this story. Well, better luck next time! Take off your pants, sweetie.”
“The music… the accursed music… take THAT, you wicked notes! I CAST THEE DOWN!! You can’t tell me what to do ANY MORE! I won’t kill Reggie, do you hear? I WON’T!!”
“I know what you want, Reggie. But I don’t do that with men who wear white socks.”
…and this is called a right angle! See, mathrobics can be fun.
Well, at least we don’t have to do anymore of those stupid “I see anus” jokes, right, Reggie? Reggie?? REGGIE?!?!?
“I am sick and tired of these muthafucking music notes in this muthafucking living room!”
“Well, thank God that nightmare is behind us… wait, what’s that… that handwritten note on your stereo, that says ‘The End’… it’s the same note we found next to all our murdered friends!! But that means… it was YOU all along, Reggie!! YOU killed them all, even poor Dilton!! OH GOD, NO!! NOOOOOOOO!!!” F/X: CRASH “AIEEE!! Choking… me… Must… grab… this… plant…” SMASH “Ah-ha, I am free!! Now it’s PAYBACK TIME, REGGIE!!” WHAM SPLAT BOOOOM! “Now… maybe… it’s finally over.” VIOLIN SCREECH!!
I will catch that invisible rabbit one of these days! Curse you, idle manchild, aid me!
Archie told me that’s why it’s called a cameltoe…..
“Daddy pretty much kills anyone who shows an interest. That’s why I’m glad we’re just friends.”
“What is the nature of the guilt that your teachers call his Original Sin? What are the evils man acquired when he fell from a state they consider perfection? Their myth declares that he ate the fruit of the tree of knowledge-he acquired a mind and became a rational being. It was the knowledge of good and evil-he became a mortal being. He was sentenced to earn his bread by his labor-he became a productive being. He was sentenced to experience desire-he acquired the capacity of sexual enjoyment. The evils for which they damn him are reason, morality, creativeness; joy-all the cardinal values of his existence. It is not his vices that their myth of man’s fall is designed to explain and condemn, it is not his errors that they hold as his guilt, but the essence of his nature as man. Whatever he was-that robot in the Garden of Eden, who existed without mind, without values, without labor, without love-he was not man.”
“Why, YES, Invisible Betty, you deserve a good spanking. Reggie, find something to plug her invisible mouth.”
“SOMEDAY ALL THIS WILL BE MINE”
Thought ballon from Reggie:
(Do I tell her that her pants have ripped in the back? OMG! What if she KNOWS her pants have ripped in the back! And I have NEVER seen a tampon string that big! What’s she got up in there?)
I’m not proud of this:
“Wow, Reggie! I guess beans really ARE the musical fruit!”
(the mostly unintelligible screams of a woman in a meth fit, hallucinating that animated notes are trying to kill her)
I think Salieri’s contribution takes the prize this time out….
“And then you dip even lower, giving the guys in the front row an even closer look at your cleavage. Meanwhile, your drummer is drooling at the sight of your lucious ass. Reggie, what do you think of that? Reggie? Reggie? Reggie! How dare you jack off in my house!!!”
“When Veronica invited me over to go over our notes for music class, this is not what I had in mind….”
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