“Once the mighty sacred dildo strikes its target… then shall the lesbianism COMMENCE!! ANDREWS HAS SPOKEN!!”
By my mace, a devilish tree menaces yon maidens! Thus is it ever so that Valiant Volstagg must defend the rear!
Let the mating BEGIN!!!
THIS TREE, IT IS TECHNO-ACTIVE!
“I was just told we’re getting rebooted!”
By thunking this tree, I change the reality that displeases me!
“Betty! Get Veronica out of here! The Treepion’s venom will wipe out her CON score if you don’t get her to Chuck’s cleric! I’ll hold it off, and regret not having weapon proficiency with axes!”
Jim Smith: The Adventures of Young Volstagg? Well played, sir.
“Let the lord of the Black land come forth!”
(Oops, should be Land with a capital as well, as it was a Tolkien reference rather than random racism.)
Fat Archie has his pimp cane back! Recognise, bitches!
FUCK telephone poles.
“To hell with that Chinese orphan, I am the Prince of Power!”
“I lay down the smack with my Asgardian mic,
and take on the form of Thunderstike!”
Take that, Parliamentary mace! Let Harper be PM, will you?
“So, Betty and Veronica, you think just because you had some wizard transform you into a wooden pole and an iron mace, that I’m gonna let what you said behind my back slide?!?? WRONG WRONG WRONG!! Who’s Satan-spawn NOW, huh?!?!??!! WHO!?!!?!!???!!”
“Girls, I’m so happy you agreed to come help me pound my wood. Now OFF WE GO!”
You may have Veronica, Betty, but you forfeit YOUR PRIZE!!
Damn science budget cuts, this is the worst particle collider ever.
My god, it’s full of stars.
My cousin had this issue when I was a kid!!!!
This is the first time I’ve ever recognised on of these panels. I don’t know why I find that so thrilling, but I do.
(It is a telephone pole, by the way, not a tree.)
Sorry, but I don’t have any decent idea for fake dialogue for this one.
T’was a dream I had, as a young man: A WORLD where telephone poles are tuned so that WHEN STRUCK will evoke Sapphic urges in nearby FEMALES!
Imagine it, Steve Rogers!
Imagine it, with your MIND!
“This is my BOOMSTICK!”
“Eventually I’ll have both of you at once. Knock on wood.”
“Sha-ZAM!…RALLY-HO!…HOKEY SMOKE! WORK, damn you…WORK!”
“Pink sky? Dilton promised! ‘The Candyland Bomb was a mistake, Arch. I’ll never build another.’ And apparently I’M A SUCKER!”
“By the power of wafflehead!”
“Damn! They were supposed to turn into Thai prostitutes three thunks ago!”
(Oh, and Amadeus Cho is Korean. Not that it matters to Archie, of course)
Jesus, what an asshole.
THE GUN IS GOOD! THE PENIS IS EVIL!
Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall behold the GLORY OF ANUS!
I SAY THEE NAY!
“Ack, We did a horrible job guarding Big Barda’s Mega-Rod!”
“Quick, Betty. Let’s hide in … each other’s arms
. Boy, did we fuck this up.”
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