“If anyone asks, it was his idea to dress up as Iceman, okay?”
“You heard about that ‘planking’ fad?”
So, now’s probably not a good time to ask Mr. Lodge if you can take Veronica to Alaska, huh?
“So I says to Mabel, I says – “
“We’re both facing serious jail time, you know. And by the way, Archie, ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ sucked.”
Yeah, you just send in a picture and in about 6 weeks you can have your own Real Doll of anyone you want.
“Archie, I said I had Velcro Fever, not Necrophilia.”
Geez Arch, do you think Ted Williams could still hit .344?
For the record, Arch, I’ll help you hide the body, but I’m not giving you an alibi.
That guy on the left is way too pale to be Stephen Black…
“So, we’ve learned two things from this: 1) Chuck should never paint Medusa, he’s too good. 2) Tricking Veronica’s dad into being our nude model is a bad idea.”
“But Archie, if your serum works, Mr. Lodge will just be able to easily beat the shit out of us in revenge!”
B-O-N-E-R, not B-O-E-H-N-E-R. John Boner.
Revelations 3:15-16, dude. It had to be done.
“The most dignified pants you have are orange sweats? Really?”
Seriously, Tom Six swears it’s one hundred percent medically accurate.
To the cyclotron!
Captain America cosplay is a niche, Arch. Just roll with it!
… and now we chop his body up and sell it as material for meat pies! It’s gold, Jerry! Gold!
“Hurry, before the sun rises and he wakes!”
“Light as a feather, stiff as a board
light as a feather…”
…and whoever gets the bigger half has their wish come true. Ready?”
“…just call Ronnie up and tell her you have something big, white, and stiff for her.”
“Y’know, as strange as all this is, Arch, the number one question on my mind is: Why is he wearing YOUR underwear?”
“And you’re the father.”
“What? I’m hungry.”
“I’m thinking next time we use a volunteer.”
“… and this is why we don’t fuck with Doom & the ponies!”
you know the horrible thing arch? this is normal for us.
I’ve never realised how long your right forearm is before. You really are a freak, aren’t you?
When I said I could really go for a cold one, Arch, this isn’t what I meant.
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