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mygif

Guys.

This was a cartoon specifically made for 10-year-olds.

We’re not 10-year-olds anymore. Don’t be shocked when you find you can’t enjoy your 10-year-old shit, because age and college and growing up made you snarkier and cynical.

And don’t go talking smack about TRON. I will cut you.

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mygif

I’m pretty sure the Japanese gymnast/martial artist is a duck not a penguin. One of those little green Japanese ducks I can’t remember the name of…

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Depending what cut of Animalympics you have, it may start with an odd animated clip of a satellite and then a muscled guy throwing frisbees around. It’s TRON! Steven Lisberger was partially responsible for both productions.

Thanks for a fun deconstruction! I have a soft spot for that cartoon, but man, is it strange when you try to think about it.

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As a someone who was born in 1990, I can say I’m satisfied with the cartoon offerings provided me as I was growing up.

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“That’s perfectly acceptable, because every fencer wishes that fencing actually had jumping about the room and vaulting through the air and swinging on chandeliers and dramatic entrances and exits and punning as elements of competition.”

As a fencer, let me say, I slice you deep, Canada Man.

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CUT. YOU.

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As someone who has lived in California and New York, I can tell you that deep, unspoken bitterness absolutely exists.

Also, what the hell did I just watch?

Also, perhaps Eurasia was similar to the Old Soviet Union and then republics started breaking away so it’d be like the 1992 Olympics where there was Russia and Lithuania and Ukraine, but people still thought they were Russia.

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I’m pretty sure the North American hokey team is supposed to be Canadian. What with them playing “O Canada” in the background and all.

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Mecha Velma said on August 17th, 2011 at 1:08 pm

How is the name “Ono Nono” racist?

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NCallahan: As a former fencer, that’s the one part they’re telling the truth on.

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Re: Tron..as I mentioned in the previous comments, this was directed and largely concieved of by Steve Lisberger who directed Tron. And Roger Allers, who was behind the Lion King, and Brad Byrd, who’s F!@#!@#N’ Brad Byrd!

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If you want to get all analytical about it, explain how if this is the 1st Animalympics, why does the Mark Sptiz Dolphin have all the medals? You don’t, because this is just awesome and that is all. And your rejection of Dean Wilson makes me question the entire Rex rating system.

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mygif

How is the name “Ono Nono” racist?

It is racist against Shia LaBouf characters in Michael Bay movies.

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mygif

Do an episode or two of the new My Little Pony series next.

That ought to properly break one of you.

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“I mean, if you’re gonna pick an animal to be in an alpine search-and-rescue team, ‘elephant’ wouldn’t even make my top thousand picks.”

Tell it to Hannibal. (And you want to bet that was the whole joke? Hannibal had taken elephants through the Alps, ergo we’re going to have an elephant search-and-rescue?)

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mygif

Didn’t the vast majority of Hannibal’s elephants die in the Alps? Pretty dark place to go for a joke.

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Yay! The reintroduction of Beavers into Britain worked. They were native to England (and Scotland and Wales) but when they went extinct we rushed to correct the problem after only 400 years.

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mygif

wait were the male nurses during the hockey game vultures? should that mean hiring more players for the next game if the injured don’t make it?

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@Scavenger: “NCallahan: As a former fencer, that’s the one part they’re telling the truth on.”

Agreed. I got most of my college gym credits with competition fencing. Then I switched to SCA Renaissance-style more freeform fencing. Eight skillion times more fun… although they still don’t let you do all of the chandelier swinging and punching in the face with the guard and kicking that “real” sword fighting would actually involve. But just getting to use an offhand weapon and not having to move in a straight line is a major improvement.

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My boyfriend notes that the finale of the fencing match is evidence of a much more compelling film that only intersected this one at one point.

Clearly, the Contessa is a BAMF who has a long history with warthog-dude, and she entered late because he sent his henchmen to kill her beforehand to prevent her from winning.

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mygif

Wait a minute, nobody has asked the most important question here.

Did MGK get his wok back?

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Thanks for posting the videos with this, MGK. This was one of my “best things ever” when I was a kid too, so it was fun to be able to watch and read along. I think my video store’s version did have the dinosaur intro, though. It sounds really familiar.

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Fez the Baron said on August 18th, 2011 at 4:17 pm

I agree with PaulW
It ws a product for a given target audience of 10-13, male. Obviously as older one cannot truly enjoy it fully. Expecially since our audult mind tend to try to fill gaps and plothole you know notices(as kid i did not thougth that Elephants in alps were strange, they were rescue team and that was it) with knowledge we now have and in past we didn’t. This lead to dark mental retelling of stories, dark fanfiction, deconstruction, parody, and seeing malice where there wasn’t none. Yes , being adults in part means becoming cosmic douchebag, but at leas tis mitigated with slef awarenss of one’s own douchbaggery(well in best cases!).
Also one had to take in count how different dubbing and culture can add to this toon. Here in italy the dubbing removed most of annoying ticks, and Eurasia become soviet union all over. As consequence the toon got experienced in different way thant USA.
on side note leave TRON alone, unless you want to get hurt, and god save you if you try to get a jab at “the Goonies”. I will go all “Kathy Bates” on your calf!!

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Fez the Baron said on August 18th, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Yes I know I write way too long comment. Sorry.

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I remeber and love this cartoon, even if parts of it make no sense. I even got a hold of the soundtrack for my itunes (shut up, I like it!). I swear when I first read this I almost died laughing. Thank you MGK.

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Doobie Sister said on October 4th, 2011 at 3:30 pm

That was hysterical! Sure, it didn’t make any fucking sense at all, but how did you not enjoy it?

And TRON… yeah. *cough cough*

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carnackiArdent said on September 20th, 2012 at 11:02 pm

I have to agree with acechan (more than a year after the fact). I would definitely pay to see a film that was just the Contessa (with the flying squirrel, obviously, as her plucky sidekick who’s mostly in the actual competition to stall for time) taking Boar-deaux down a peg or three.

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