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mygif

Well, if you throw in Once Upon A Time, there *are* three Snow White projects.

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I’m pretty sure I was expecting one of these after those trailers came out.

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Four Snow White projects, if you believe the rumor that Disney is cooking up some weird live-action version in which Snow White is an Englishwoman travelling in China and rescued by seven bandits or whatever they will turn out to be. But that doesn’t seem to be beyond the description stage so it will not come out in 2012.

I’m a little surprised that you didn’t have them all contemplating that Peter Jackson, who made a squillion dollars with LOTR, will be having a giant, keenly-anticipated 2-movie prequel coming out that features thirteen dwarves, and therefore obviously the thing to do is to jump on the unanticipated dwarf bandwagon (GoT’s Tyrion and Peter Dinklage’s Emmy win are a part of this bandwagon), and what is the easiest public-domain way to jump on a dwarf bandwagon? Why, Snow White, obviously. And get the movies out before The Hobbit shows up. Saturate the dwarf market!

God help me, I am actually looking forward to SW&TH. And I will probably see MM, too. At least I have the excuse that I literally work in the field of folklore.

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MGK, as someone who has been beating the drum for the studio executives to come back for ages, thank you.

What the hell happened to Two, by the way? He seems… well, dangerous now. Before he was a freakish druggie sex pervert, now it looks like he’s actually THINKING. He made cogent points! He treaded dangerously close to employing well-reasoned chains of logic that didn’t revolve around his desire to put the increasingly filthy things he requires to maintain an erection on film!

Three needs to deal with him. Now. He could always rely on One dying in an improbable soundstage accident and Two to end up in jail, which meant the big seat would be his one day. Now? Different story.

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I see Two going out like Colin Ferrel’s character in Horrible Bosses. Wasted on blow and hookers and then shot from ambush by an enraged Kevin Spacey…

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Dude, spoilers! In a completely unrelated thread!

What’s weird about this is that one of the movies is directed by Tarsem Singh, but it’s the one that looks visually bland and boring, whereas the atmospheric, visually intense movie is directed by someone else but really LOOKS like a Tarsem movie.

Also, did I hear that Snow White and the Huntsman–Two’s movie–is supposed to be part one of a TRILOGY? Exactly how far do they think they can stretch this movie?

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mygif

I’d like to take this opportunity to ask Hollywood to stop wasting money and cut back on the crappy movies. We don’t need 152 crappy movies a year: just 52 – once per week – will do.

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Fuck me, Two’s movie looks TERRIBLE.

Not that one’s is doing much better really…

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I actually like the trailer for “Mirror Mirror” precisely because it was nothing like the trailer for “Snow White and the Huntsman”, in the same way that chocolate fudge is nothing like burnt pig trotters. The one might not be good for you, but it’ll sure as hell take the foul taste of the other out of your mouth.

Plus, Tarsem’s version actually looks fun and will probably entertain my younger sisters, which is all well and good.

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I will give Snow White and the Huntsman this — two hours of watching Charlize Theron being a stylish evil witch would be fantastic. Mostly because I was raised with two older sisters in the 80’s and hence conditioned to believe that the stylish evil witch was always the best part of any fantasy action movie. The issue is, the witchy goodness gets broken up by attempts to make us give a crap about Kristen Stewart.

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Ju;ia Roberts doesn’t need a fake nose to be ugly.

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The Crazed Spruce said on November 22nd, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Wow. Both of those movies look so utterly, utterly horrible that I absolutely have to watch them. (About three months after the DVD release, when I can snag a copy for, like, 5 bucks. Don’t really seem worth paying much more than that, no matter how craptacular they look.)

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equinox216 said on November 23rd, 2011 at 6:39 am

I saw Rise of the Gorge of the Planet of the Apes of Wrath, and I would have RATHER seen Adam Sandler throwing poop at James Franco.

And I saw that You Don’t Mess with the Zohan thing, in the theater, on my birthday, because the movie we wanted to see was sold out, and my friend was like “Okay, whatever, we’re here, I’ll pay for it.” So it’s not like I don’t owe Sandler a solid dickpunch already.

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MarvinAndroid said on November 23rd, 2011 at 6:59 am

Due to contract clauses, Zooey Deschanel is already committed to making a Snow White miniseries for Syfy.

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Mirror Mirror looks fucking terrible. SWaTH looks kind of decent and Prankster is dead on about how it looks like a Tarsem Singh film.

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mygif

Wow, that looks terrible. At least with the trailers for last year’s awful-looking Red Riding Hood werewolf movie I got to ogle Amanda Seyfried. I don’t find Kristen Stewart to be the least bit attractive.

If they had to use someone from Twilight they should have just used Anna Kendrick. At least then I’d buy the Evil Queen being threatened by Snow White’s beauty.

That reminds me, I haven’t watched Scott Pilgrim in a while …

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MonkeyWithTypewriter said on November 24th, 2011 at 7:26 am

Huntsman looks watchable. Mirror mirror looks bleah.

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