“This tastes a lot better then what happens when I give Jughead blowjobs.”
“Look guys, I made a loaf of bread small enough that my spunk covers it perfectly!”
“…So as one can infer from the recently deceased corpse of test subject Hot Dog, these so-called ‘Twinkies’ contain enough deadly toxins to paralyze a Bull Elephant…and do far worse to any weaker creature.”
“…so the whole point of his character is that he just wants a Twinkie! It’s so simple, it’s actually profound! That’s what makes Zombieland so awesome!”
“Man I had some doubts but Dilton was right, eating Twinkles and watching Veronica and Betty having hot lesbian sex is AWESOME!”
Do not rest in so profound a doubt except she tell it thee, who shall be a light between truth and intellect. I know not if thou understand: I speak of Twinkie.
— and we’ll call it the Fleshlight!
“Well, let’s say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning’s sample, it would be a Twinkie… thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.”
@DistantFred: That’s a big Twinkie.
“… What about the Twinkie?”
Worker Consumes Pastry of the Proletariat to the Glory of the Socialist Motherland!
Ron: “Yo’ momma so fat, the core of her wand is Twinkie filling!”
“It’s a miracle! The inside of my Twinkie is shaped like the head of Aintitcoolnews’ Harry Knowles! Blessed day: the End Times are upon us!”
It’s called the Twinkie Defense: you just slide it over your lil’ Archie when you have sex and you can’t get AIDS!
“It’s People! Soylent twinkies are made from people!”
And once we smuggle the drugs across the border in these snack cakes, you’ll have all the money you’ll ever need for hamburgers, and I’ll finally get respect from Mr. Lodge. It’s foolproof!
“Okay, does this bite-mark look like the Virgin Mary? Or am I really friggin’ high right now?!?”
My god! It’s full of stars!
“Diabetes? Or LIVE-abities? Eh? Eh?”
“Hold it right there, Weatherbee! You might be able to refuse the demands of the Model UN, but can you refuse the delicious spongy golden cake and creamy filling of a HOSTESS TWINKIE?”
Look, Hostess! I can whore myself out just as well as Marvel and DC!
Twinkie, twinkie, little bar,
How I wonder what you are.
Making the world feel so high,
Lucy Diamond in the sky.
“Thank God I’m here licking filling rather than in ‘Nam!”
It’s OK, gang! These are Twinkies™, not Hostess Fruit Pies™ — we’re safe from Batman!
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