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mygif

I love how, right at the beginning, she spells out “penis” but says “anus” with no issue whatsoever.

I have just listened to all the crazy.

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mygif

I’m trying to figure out just what she thinks the word “PENIS” is an acronym for, and if Nick Fury is somehow involved.

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mygif

So…this is like Sacha Baron Cohen in drag punking everybody again, amirite?

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mygif

I’m actually from Lincoln, and my dad, a lawyer, has to present/testify in front of the city council about once every two weeks or so. And so on the local news there was usual some b-roll of my dad standing the same spot as this lady. All I can think of now is this lady stepping out of camera and my dad having to stand up and say “So, yeah, about the proposed apartment building on L…”

Basically, I’m having a weird moment where my real life has intersected one of the open forum scenes from Parks and Rec.

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mygif

I think my brain just melted.

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MonkeyWithTypewriter said on May 11th, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Can a brave someone summarize the crazy?

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mygif

Dear god, I could only get through about 90 seconds of that before I just had to turn it off. Is this person talking about the obstacle course game show Wipeout, or is Winter Wipeout a different show entirely. Because, honestly, I have no idea what the hell I just heard. My brain is now actively trying to run away. I hope you’re happy, MGK! You’ve scared my brain into trying to leave my body! >_<

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mygif

This is why we can’t have nice things like free speech.

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Mecha Velma said on May 11th, 2012 at 9:24 pm

@MonkeyWithTypewriter

There is no summary for the crazy because its all random crazy. Essentially gays are sadomasochistic creatures that molest children at every opportunity and commit murder or suicide by the age of 40 because they follow the preachings of the “homo Judas”.

And apparently Hillary Clinton is a lesbian too.

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mygif

Um. But. I. Um.

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mygif

Because I am insane and have too much free time, I have transcribed this lol-wut-fest:
“I’m Jane Scaboda
Winter Wipeout TV show had broken brones and manslaughter every minute
Winter Wipeout … show is produced in Holland by gays, bis, and orgiers. Why do gays like to see people perishing? P-E-N-I-S goes into the anus to rupture intestines. More a man does this the more likely he’ll be a fatality or a homicider. Getting pleasure while the other man passes away reverberates another homocide later. UNESCO UNited Nations has gender and bioethics conferences combined. Only gays go to gender studies. Gays are the bioethic genociders in hospitals. Um. Children can be eliminated. The feds stated in this December 11th article, uh, the Lincoln Journal Star page 6 “Gays should not be employed in hospitals or any health occupation.” Whitney Houstin was found without clothes in a bathtub. Every corpse found without clothes has a partner that did away with him. Lesbians and gays rarely live past 40 years old because it is common for a partner to do away with them or they self-inflict. We want everyone to be 80 years old instead of 40 years old. Don’t go gay, it’s not healthy. Anus licking causes sepsis. If not given antibiotics within a half hour they perish. Uh. How no gays in education. A high percent of gay men in school grounds molest boys partly because they don’t have AIDS yet. Be on the side of the innocent boy who gets an F and Ds a year after being molested. Don’t allow hundred of molestations a year with this equality ordinance. Where are our schoolteachers that should be speaking about this today? Hilary Clinton’s roommate four years in college was Elenor or Eddie Atchinson, a gay woman, daughter of Dean Atchinson. To avoid going gay like Hilar-Clinton did COllege students need single rooms and single gender dorms. Going lesbian is not normal, a college woman is seduced with illegal rolyphenol to go gay, otherwise they think it’s abhorent. Lesbian professors state quote wives are enslaved by their husbands unquote. All you married councilmen know this is not true, and this is deranged thinking. Have no gays in education. The Canadian Na’tan Du-gas was the first person to get AIDS in 1980. He depressed his immune system with pot, he ruptured intestines as his partner became a corpse. Candida fungus grows hugely on a corpse. AIDS is a candida fungus disease. Roman senators went to Roman baths to be promiscuous gay bis and orgiers then went to the colleseum to watch Christians get mauled and perish. Do gays become desis..sis..sadistic? Yes! They cuss after coupling, don’t like the land they lay on, and 80% of those that did treason by the year 2000 were gays. Don’t employ gays in military, education, health or psychology. They are the genociders, molesters, treasoners, derranged. Gay is not a behaviour, by the way, a gay IS a behaviour, it’s not an identity. Shoplifters don’t make good sales persons, gay’s behaviours aren’t needed for military, education, health and psychology. Don’t encourage gays, do not harm gays, gays can transform [Offscreen: “One minute.”] I have let’s see – gays can transform to be celibate to live to be 80 years old. Uh. Gay persons want to adopt children. The California Board of Education said that last year children in San Fransisco had the worst scholastics failing all subjects all grades. They cry all day and rape eachother hetero without being told not to. Give us your molested children derranged by seeing only gays kissing. Don’t ask don’t tell what you do in your bedroom and you’ll be respected for your work. Read the book Njenski [???] to understand that bisexuals always become insane. A wedding dress is for a woman not for a man. Jesus was kissed by Judas, a homo, who tried to sabotage Jesus’ kind ideas. Do you choose Jesus, a celibate, or Judas, a homo? You have to choose. This is a result of a ten year study by over 700 psychologist PhDs. Read Crisis of Generational Persuits [Offscreen: “That’s your 5 minutes.”] at any Lincoln City School.”

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JCHandsom said on May 11th, 2012 at 10:37 pm

That dude in the back is my personal hero, because he had the self control not to give this clearly insane woman the Kanye treatment and stop her surprisingly creative b.s.

Seriously though, let us hope she never figures out how to blog. I don’t even think the internet could contain an order of stupidity of this magnitude.

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mygif

And now I’m going to go rape someone hetero, because my lesbian moms deranged me. And I will cuss afterwards.

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SilverHammerMan said on May 11th, 2012 at 10:39 pm

So by putting horny college students in single gender dorms they’ll stop having same gender relationships?
Of course, why didn’t I think of that?
This woman is dangerously insane.

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DistantFred said on May 11th, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Is she just quoting other crazy people out of context? There’s… It’s… she doesn’t speak like she’s familiar with the structure of English speech. It’s like a long string of non-sequitors around the theme of homophobia.

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DistantFred said on May 11th, 2012 at 10:53 pm

You know, actually, after a few minutes of thinking about it… you know what this reminds me of? That reporter a while back that had the stroke on air. That’s how coherent it was. As coherent as a stroke.

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mygif

This is majestic. The things that she’s…they aren’t even sentences. It’s just…wow.

Am I the only person who thinks that she sounds like she’s just reading a particularly long spam-bot email that she got? Like, maybe she thought it was part of a chain letter and if she read it into a microphone it would make all of the gays disappear or just leave her alone long enough to finish the crossword?

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mygif

….this is what “Time Cube: The Series” would be like, isn’t it?

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mygif

wow, I made several typos in my post. Let’s just say we Lincolnites are not good at expressing ourselves in either verbal or written communication.

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Candlejack said on May 12th, 2012 at 4:53 am

An online acquaintance says she’s basically reading a transcript of a Rush Limbaugh broadcast from 2-22-2004. I can find nothing to confirm this, but it would explain why, even clearly reading off a prepared paper, she sounds like she has no command of basic grammar.

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Lawnmower Boy said on May 12th, 2012 at 9:23 am

Could we maybe make less fun of the untreated schizophrenics?

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William Kendall said on May 12th, 2012 at 11:30 am

Now that, my friends, is classic batshit insane.

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William Kendall said on May 12th, 2012 at 11:34 am

I feel profoundly sorry for the city of Lincoln to have a nutter like this living there…

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mygif

@Lawnmower Boy: On the one hand, I agree with you whole-heartedly that making fun of people suffering from mental illness is cruel. On the other hand, watching a five-minute clip of someone speaking in public and calling them an “untreated schizophrenic” could be seen as a little unjust. :)

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mygif

For some reason the video on the main page is of “Dick Clark Bloopers on the pyramid”. If you click on the actual article you can see the correct video.

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mygif

AIDS is a fungus disease! Who knew!

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Mecha Velma said on May 13th, 2012 at 11:50 am

Amazing how conservative people sound when they lose their mental faculties.

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David Fullam said on May 13th, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Does this woman have alzheimers?

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some_guy said on May 13th, 2012 at 4:44 pm

she is literally crazy, she suffers from schizophrenia. this isn’t hate speech, its a poor woman’s delusions sounding topical by pure chance.

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mygif

People with schizophrenia and other mental issues still take in input from the world around them, and give it back. It’s easy to just dismiss people like her or the Dearborn Mosque guy as ‘some random crazy’ who is disconnected from the broader discourse around them, but it’s false: they hear what’s being said and then strip off the veneer, lacking the filters to cloak homophobia or islamophobia in more acceptable language and action.

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auf_weiderzen said on May 14th, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Highly reminiscent of “Dr.” Bronner’s rants on the soap. Soap is good, tho.

While it does sound a lot like she has schizophrenia, and that makes her a cause for concern for herself and others, it doesn’t mean that she should be seriously considered for any basis of public policy. The stream of consciousness ranting basically sounds like someone who has too many ideas swirling around their head and no control over their order or expression or coherence. At the finest-grained level, that means that not all of the ideas are bat-shit insane, but the full explanation may be missing and the logical connections may be fallacious.

Please do not assume that just because we have shared and commented and noted that this is wholly incoherent all of those participating in this behavior are insulting or humiliating her.

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mygif

She’s like the Crazy Cat Lady from “The Simpsons”, but real.

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Jim Kosmicki said on May 15th, 2012 at 9:39 am

I’m pretty sure her last name is Svoboda – a not uncommon name here in Nebraska. My understanding is that she is actually mentally ill, but she is still a citizen and does still have the right to an open public forum. I actually find value in hearing things like this testimony, because while hers is incoherent and full of non-sequiturs, the actual points that she is repeating are points that non-mentally ill people use regularly to argue against the LGBT community. Having those arguments put into this context helps show their desperation at grabbing for ANY rationalization to oppose equal rights based on sexuality.

and c’mon folks, I know that fewer people read the newspaper these days, but the only difference between this and many letters to the editor is that she had 5 minutes and not 200 words.

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