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William Kendall said on November 6th, 2012 at 7:30 pm

It’s going to be a long night…

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“You always remember your first time…voting, that is!”

Oh Katie Couric. This is going to suck.

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If Florida is going for Obama, as has been predicted in a few places, this could be wrapping up really early.

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Enlight_Bystand said on November 6th, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Alabama & Mississippi don’t have anyone paying for an exit poll, so the networks are waiting for the first couple of actual votes to be counted to confirm

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DistantFred said on November 6th, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Re: 7:51. That Hungarian’s ad has been playing fairly regularly on CNN for a while now. It got my dander nice and properly up during the Hurricane Sandy coverage because it has such an insane premise.

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” In Virginia, a battleground state, we are in a “battleground county” and what’s more, they’re looking at battleground precincts. How long before CNN starts going to individual voters? ”

One of my favorite Asimov short stories is “Franchise,” a satire of elections, where, in the future, MULTIVAC studies population density and demographics to determine the single person whose vote is representative of all America that year, and that one person determines the entire election. Sort of like that last episode of 30 Rock, with less Tracy Morgan.

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MSNBC is currently mocking Linda McMahon in the most professional way possible.

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James Young said on November 6th, 2012 at 8:21 pm

*waves*

This is the tech guy. I voted, finally! I had 18 propositions to mull over, which took some time.

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A few hours ago one of the pundits said something to the effect of “The candidate will need to get the majority of the votes to win”

When did John Madden start working for CNN?

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John Madden will personally present the winner of the election with a turducken.

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@James Young

18?! I thought CA was bad. We had under 10 this time around.

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James Young said on November 6th, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Andre: I’m in San Francisco. We had 11 state & 7 city propositions.

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@James Young

No kidding? I swear my memory is going. I’m up in Placer County.

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NBC’s ridiculous ice rink map is kind of great. Waaay better than holograms and Wolf Blitzer and whatever other gimmicks CNN has.

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Linda McMahon lost her second Senate bid. Raw is going to be FUN next week!

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James Young said on November 6th, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Andre: Be happy that you can’t remember them. I’m happy that I got to vote against the death penalty, even though it looks I’m in the minority.

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@James Young

Yeah, I voted against it as well, but sadly those always end up failing 65-35, or something close.

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Linda McMahon looks to lose her second consecutive Senate bid in Connecticut, and unlike most wrestling fans, I don’t think this means next week they stop the family-friendly act and try to be all Attitude Era 2.0.

Very true, but I do think that Vince is going to freak out and put on some ridiculous political skit at some point on the show.

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@MGK

You can make fun of Indiana politics all you want – especially if Richard “rape pregnancies are a gift from god” Mourdock gets the Senate seat – but please don’t mock Indiana basketball. You wouldn’t mock Texas football would you?

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Yes, holy shit, Wolf, if only we’d figured out that Florida has voting irregularities a decade and change ago, we could’ve, I dunno, seen to it that an actual news organization explored that topic with depth that didn’t evaporate in the summer.

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I hope Debbie Stabenow in Michigan keeps beating Pete “I’m a fucking racist” Hoekstra.

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ChessPieceFace said on November 6th, 2012 at 9:15 pm

By odd coincidence, the only media access is through my phone, so MGK is my election HQ.

It feels a bit like how, at one point in time, more Canadians got their news from the satirical This Hour Has 22 Minutes than from any actual news source.

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it’s bad news for candidates when they can’t carry a state they have close ties too, like Romney and Michigan

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Fun fact: Elizabeth Warren was at my parents’ wedding. She gave them a copper kettle.

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Mitchell Hundred said on November 6th, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Shame your tech guy for not voting? No, sir. If I am going to shame anybody, it will be you for choosing to make as bland a snack as a bagel and cheese. Put some tomatoes and meat on there, at least.

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If I am going to shame anybody, it will be you for choosing to make as bland a snack as a bagel and cheese.

Not just ANY cheese, but MacLaren’s Sharp Cold Pack Cheddar Product.

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I hope Valanciunas does take a groin shot or two, he’s killing me.

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FifthSurprise said on November 6th, 2012 at 10:07 pm

A vote for Obama is a vote for Bartlett right?

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DistantFred said on November 6th, 2012 at 10:23 pm

So apparently, despite it bit being significantly reported, Puerto Rico voted in favor of becoming a state.

So whoever wins may have to redesign the flag…

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The thing about Virginia is that a lot of the remaining vote is in the DC exurbs, which are more blue than not. It’s still quite doable.

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@Beacon:

You can make fun of Indiana politics all you want – especially if Richard “rape pregnancies are a gift from god” Mourdock gets the Senate seat – but please don’t mock Indiana basketball. You wouldn’t mock Texas football would you?

I think that if mockery of Indiana is inevitable, relax and enjoy it.

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No FifthSuprise a vote for Obama is a vote for Santos, and a VP to be named later of course.

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Lister (not that one) said on November 6th, 2012 at 10:38 pm

I’m working late and following the results exclusively through this liveblog, IRC, and Patton Oswalt’s Twitter feed. This is the best election coverage ever.

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FifthSurprise said on November 6th, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Todd Akin going to lose in Missouri. Cue concession speech where he talks about how he was wrong and MO in a legitimate election couldn’t shut it all down.

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Bunnyofdoom said on November 6th, 2012 at 10:52 pm

If you guys want a fun feed to follow, here you go https://twitter.com/GOP_Tears/republican-tears

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Woah! Hearing about Joe the Plumber again has given me political whiplash.

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Bunnyofdoom said on November 6th, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Daily show=best shot. Patrick Stewart? Community reference? Anderson Cooper’s golden saxophone

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NBC calls Ohio for Obama.

schadenfreude

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it?

The election? Or just the states you mention?

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Enlight_Bystand said on November 6th, 2012 at 11:22 pm

It’s done – Ohio pushes it over the 270

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Holy Crap are you listening to FoxNews? They’re already doubling down on Obama being our now Commie overlord!

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Well if no one is gonna do it, I might as well.

Yub Nub, eee chop yub nub. Ah toe meet toe pee-chee keene g’noop fling oh AH!

Come on everyone join in!

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Well if no one is gonna do it, I might as well.

I totally stole this idea and used it on Twitter. RESPECT.

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Feeling so good about the reelection. Sucks that the right wingnuts will not suffer any karmic payback for talking shit. You think Obama could take the mic tonight and shout, “HEY, TRUMPY! TELL ME HOW MY ASS TASTES!!!”? Not likely.

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FifthSurprise said on November 6th, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Colorado legalized marijuana. WHAAAAAT!?

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@MGK

Go right ahead man! Celebrate the Love!

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FifthSurprise said on November 7th, 2012 at 12:15 am

What?? Representative Paul Ryan is evolving?

Huh? Paul Ryan stopped evolving!

Wonder if he is debating jumping the gun and saying something specially since Romney is holding out…

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One important correction: nobody cares about the Cavaliers either. Cleveland sports teams exist solely to lose dramatically to good teams.

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Wow, what a gracious speech. “I will pray for him.”

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In honor of the lack of concession speech the West Wing is always topical:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4rigI3FkwE

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As a final note, Michele Bachmann is losing (barely; might not hold up) and literal war criminal Allen West lost.

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Did Mitt just read his victory speech with a few lines copy-pasted in? Because it sure sounds like he is congratulating himself and his supporters for botching this election on a cosmic scale.

Heck, even as a victory speech it’s crap. It’s barely above the level of Oscar acceptance speeches. I’ve heard Power Point presentations with more sincerity and heart.

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Are you still up, MGK? I know it’s late, and you’re Canadian, but Obama gave one heckuva speech.

Bunnyofdoom . . . thanks for the Twitter link. What a bunch of sore losers.

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Look at that, I voted for my conscience and Obama still destroyed Mitt. #Shocked

Seriously, though, this was a hilarious read and stuff. :)

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“Look at that, I voted for my conscience and Obama still destroyed Mitt. #Shocked”

It’s interesting that you claim to attach your conscience to what you yourself portray as a meaningless act.

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dan, he’s saying that despite everybody telling him “You gotta vote for Obama, otherwise we could get a repeat of the Bush years!”, he voted for Jill Stein and we are not going to get a repeat of the Bush years.

(Well, apart from the Bush administration policies that Obama supports and has chosen to keep in place such as the Patriot Act, of course.)

But you know what, even if Romney had won, you know who should have been blamed for that? The asshats who voted for Mitt Romney.

And when Bush was declared president in 2000, it wasn’t the Nader voters who were responsible for that, so much as it was the fault of the people who voted for Bush, the people who helped Bush steal Florida and, finally, the Supreme Court.

Instead of getting angry at people who basically feel the same way that you do about the issues but who differ from you in that they aren’t willing to hold their nose and vote for a candidate who is actually similar to George W. Bush in a lot of ways, you should be getting angry at the people who believe the opposite of what you do.

Get angry at the people who think that Iran should definitely be bombed.

Get angry at the people who think that the rich deserve all of those tax breaks.

Get angry at the people who think that locking people up without trials is necessary to win the War On Terror.

Get angry at the people who believe that health care isn’t something everybody should be entitled to.

You get the idea.

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Who says that anger has to be towards just one?

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It makes about as much sense to blame non-voters for the outcome of an election as it does to blame draft-dodgers for the outcome of a war. “You BASTARD, if you’d just joined the army, we would’ve won!”

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It makes plenty of sense to blame an election loss on the people who didn’t vote for your team.

And, really, when you walk into a room where the vote is 50% Kick The Puppy, 50% Pat The Puppy, and 0% Pat The Kitten, agonizing that “Oh, but I’m a cat person” is kind of ridiculous. Yes, half of the room is full of rotten puppy kickers, and they should not have voted that way, but the situation is such that there is a choice you can make that will result in less kicking.

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