Finally…the perfume that smells like Romney – I mean money.
And presto! NOW she’ll vote the way we tell her to!
“Your daughter. My mind control potion. A live streaming webcam that leads straight to the most depraved souls on the internet.
Or, we could talk about how you’re going to help me get into the 1%, Mr Lodge.”
“-Breaking Bad reference-” (resend)
“And there’s binders more where she came from!”
What’s it made of? Well… kittens, mostly. But you need to focus on the results, not the process!
“Rohypnol, crack cocaine, and ground up fifty dollar bills.
“Why do you ask?”
I’m not sure if I can top Unsubject on this one…
“Okay, I can see you’re bored with the stuff I stole from the high school chemistry lab. Let me show you how much Veronica enjoys the scent of my fermented semen.”
“I just made a gaseous ‘roofie’. You owe me fifty bucks, asshole.”
See? There’s a reason why they call it ecstasy.
“There’s nothing you can do, Lodge. Every teenage girl’s mind will be twisted in my direction now that I’ve perfected the formula for… COOPERIC ACID!”
Yeah, that’s right, I invented a chemical that makes ladies jump up and down. Still not good enough for your daughter, huh?
See? She wants to have my baby, otherwise this rohypnol wouldn’t have any effect.
And with that, we have proven the existence of the ladyboner.
This was my first “project” when I found out that Colorado legalized Marijuana.
The Erotic MC Stories website is ruined for me now.
Behold! Infinity proof liquor! Merely smelling it is enough to render her blackout drunk!
“With one whiff of your money, melted down into liquid form, Veronica will do whatever I say. By the way, I melted down a quarter of a million bucks you had lying around in your safe, and you really need a new password. BLOWJOB is too easy to guess.”
“We’re doing a dress rehearsal for “The Island of Dr. Morose!”. DiCaprio is negotiating the title role and Ronnie is playing the lead combat masturbator, “Aloissa Cindy-Lou BOING! Von Leeuwenhoek”. Show him yer trick, Ronnie.”
“The magic of the stage.”
“Oh, I accidentally gambled away the house in a thumb-wrestling tournament with that Polish family in your cellar. Me and Betty had a contest to find the most ridiculous distraction while I told you! Which reminds me, she stole both your Cadillacs. And as for Veronica’s virginity? Well, I wouldn’t look HERE.
“…But on the bright side, Romney LOST!”
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