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Heksefatter said on November 6th, 2012 at 9:04 am

Finally…the perfume that smells like Romney – I mean money.

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The Unstoppable Gravy Express said on November 6th, 2012 at 10:29 am

And presto! NOW she’ll vote the way we tell her to!

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“Your daughter. My mind control potion. A live streaming webcam that leads straight to the most depraved souls on the internet.

Or, we could talk about how you’re going to help me get into the 1%, Mr Lodge.”

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“”

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“-Breaking Bad reference-” (resend)

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“And there’s binders more where she came from!”

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What’s it made of? Well… kittens, mostly. But you need to focus on the results, not the process!

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“Rohypnol, crack cocaine, and ground up fifty dollar bills.

“Why do you ask?”

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William Kendall said on November 6th, 2012 at 3:04 pm

I’m not sure if I can top Unsubject on this one…

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“Okay, I can see you’re bored with the stuff I stole from the high school chemistry lab. Let me show you how much Veronica enjoys the scent of my fermented semen.”

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“I just made a gaseous ‘roofie’. You owe me fifty bucks, asshole.”

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Mitchell Hundred said on November 6th, 2012 at 7:33 pm

See? There’s a reason why they call it ecstasy.

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“There’s nothing you can do, Lodge. Every teenage girl’s mind will be twisted in my direction now that I’ve perfected the formula for… COOPERIC ACID!”

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Abner Cadaver said on November 7th, 2012 at 3:27 am

Yeah, that’s right, I invented a chemical that makes ladies jump up and down. Still not good enough for your daughter, huh?

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See? She wants to have my baby, otherwise this rohypnol wouldn’t have any effect.

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And with that, we have proven the existence of the ladyboner.

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This was my first “project” when I found out that Colorado legalized Marijuana.

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The Erotic MC Stories website is ruined for me now.

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Behold! Infinity proof liquor! Merely smelling it is enough to render her blackout drunk!

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William Kendall said on November 11th, 2012 at 6:41 pm

“With one whiff of your money, melted down into liquid form, Veronica will do whatever I say. By the way, I melted down a quarter of a million bucks you had lying around in your safe, and you really need a new password. BLOWJOB is too easy to guess.”

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“We’re doing a dress rehearsal for “The Island of Dr. Morose!”. DiCaprio is negotiating the title role and Ronnie is playing the lead combat masturbator, “Aloissa Cindy-Lou BOING! Von Leeuwenhoek”. Show him yer trick, Ronnie.”

*BOING*

“The magic of the stage.”

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“Oh, I accidentally gambled away the house in a thumb-wrestling tournament with that Polish family in your cellar. Me and Betty had a contest to find the most ridiculous distraction while I told you! Which reminds me, she stole both your Cadillacs. And as for Veronica’s virginity? Well, I wouldn’t look HERE.

“…But on the bright side, Romney LOST!”

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