We’re trying a new method where Archie ejaculates the ball instead of throwing it
Take my athlete…please!
“Oh, I thought you said RiverDANCE bowling team!”
And after approximately twenty minutes, the subject is ejected from Kleatspace, along with a context-appropriate item of sporting equipment.
I figure that if he practices punting one of these for a while, footballs should be a piece of cake.
“If done right, no can defend.”
And out of the tear in the space-time continuum come a bowling ball and Archie, but the sound this makes is unexpected.
Together we can levitate anything- this minion… the pins… not the bowling ball.
“Yes, Principal, practicing drop kicks with a bowling ball will absolutely rapidly build his strength and distance as a kicker and will in no way result in breaking every bone in his foot.”
His approach may be unorthodox and his release is rocky, but he never, ever foot-faults.
“Ray Harryhausen died for our CGI sins.”
“It’s the newest soccer training technique out of Germany. When he can consistently kick strikes here, he’ll be able to kick the ball through goalies”
“Four more like him, Riverdale will be ready for the Special Olympics.”
“I don’t know why he hates those bowling balls so much…”
“Pithy ‘Big Lebowski’ Quote.”
“…on the plus side, Archie’s left testicle finally descended.”
“To be honest, ever since I had my eyes sewed shut I’ve been a terrible football coach… This is the football field, right?”
“Ah..Natural child birth. Well, at least for Archie.”
“He’s not very good, but he’s the only one willing to try out for the Penis Bowling team.”
Quick, while he’s busy – kiss me.
So this is the mural I wanted to show you. We just have to clean up the black paint spill by the skirting board.
It really is very simple. As you can see, Archie’s going to break his neck by slipping on that extra varnished floor, and we dispose of his body by dropping it at Betty’s house. Everyone already knows she’s a psychotic supervillain, so the blame’s going to go right at her.
“No, sir, y’see, I had Archie and the bowling ball folded up and palmed in my left hand the whole time.”
If you have a milkshake. And I have a milkshake. And I have a straw – there it is…
“It looks like Archie’s balls have FINALLY dropped.”
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