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mygif

… What if I live in a country where using Velveeta is a guillotining offense?
Are there acceptable substitutes that one might find in certain European cheese-snob countries?

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mygif

… What if I live in a country where using Velveeta is a guillotining offense?

Then we will raise a glass of Velveeta in your memory.

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mygif

Even the snobbiest of European cheese-snob countries has La vache qui rit – which is pretty much exactly the same thing. Just en francais.

Personally I’d avoid the neon coloured “party cube” varieties – but that’s just me (shudder).

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Odd King said on June 11th, 2013 at 10:46 am

If I had to choose between disobeying the State and MGK, I would choose MGK because he wouldn’t know unless I post about it on his website. The State is always just and right. Long live the State.

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JCHandsom said on June 11th, 2013 at 11:19 am

@Odd King

…But you just posted on MGK’s website about how you would disobey MGK.

Guards! Guards, come quickly!

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The Unstoppable Gravy Express said on June 11th, 2013 at 1:28 pm

Except it was never REALLY Velveeta, it was the Sentry! It was always the Sentry and it was the best ingredient of every recipe ever and everyone thinks so!!!

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quirkygeekgirl said on June 11th, 2013 at 1:39 pm

I think I’m going to have to make this and I will concur that Velveeta can be a secret weapon, it just needs to be mixed with other things.

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mygif

Could the diced sweet or dill pickles be replaced with sweet or dill relish, or is there some nuanced difference between premade relish and dicing your own?

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William Kendall said on June 11th, 2013 at 2:40 pm

@QuirkyGeelGirl: Mix it with some tabasco sauce, guitar wire, and toothpaste, and you can blast open a locked door. Or so MacGyver says.

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mygif

Could the diced sweet or dill pickles be replaced with sweet or dill relish, or is there some nuanced difference between premade relish and dicing your own?

Relish has a higher liquid content than simply chopping up some pickles and generally ends up making the mix a little more watery than it should be.

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mygif

Looks like a badass tuna melt! And I love tuna melts. Which must be made with American cheese. Because to use anything else is missing the effing point.

This and crockpot cheese dip: what Velveeta was made for.

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mygif

Oh, wow. My mom made something like this but not with the Velveeta and warming the buns up… My mouth is watering.

(Does Velveeta really crumble? It’s so… pliable.)

I think this would work really well with Parker House rolls, too, and you could probably eat two at a time in an emergency.

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mygif

Even the snobbiest of European cheese-snob countries has La vache qui rit – which is pretty much exactly the same thing. Just en francais.

So that’s what Velveeta is? Huh. Okay then.

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mygif

I am fascinated by the foods of the white man, and will definitely have to give it these a try someday. Do you wrap the buns individually or just put foil over all of them on the tray?

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mygif

A couple of quick questions:

1. Is that Rex the Wonderdog on the calender in the first panel?

2. When are you going to produce the book version of this? Because I think there’s a market for this sort of cookbook… .

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quirkygeekgirl said on June 11th, 2013 at 4:57 pm

@Justin Mohareb I expect these at your next gaming party 😉

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mygif

I have no idea what this “Velveeta” is. It’s probably some exotic thing that only exists in whatever distant moonland you’re in.

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The Crazed Spruce said on June 11th, 2013 at 7:24 pm

I’m a sucker for a good recipe, and I do like a good tuna sandwich. I might have to give this a try sometime.

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Pantsless Pete said on June 12th, 2013 at 12:20 am

I do hate my arteries and have been looking to damage the for quite some time, so this works out pretty well.

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mygif

Sometimes what your mom calls “white trashy” is just what you need. My grandmother use to make little sandwiches on the same buns, some american cheese and ham, and a little butter. I made a couple recently and was surprised how good they tasted.

Also, I’d buy a comic that was nothing but you and your grandmother displaying various recipes.

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mygif

You’d to cut me to get “cheese-flavored food product” inside, anyway. I’ll use shredded cheddar, thank you.

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The Crazed Spruce said on June 12th, 2013 at 8:40 am

@Chris Lowrance: Yeah, it goes against my quasi-foodie sensibilities, too, but I find that cheddar tends to seperate when it melts, so your bun would get all soggy and greasy. You’d be better off going with the Velveeta.

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mygif

I’ll use shredded cheddar, thank you.

As Crazed Spruce noted, and I can say from experience, cheddar doesn’t work; it doesn’t mix into the mayo base to give you that smooth finish and when it melts in the oven it separates and the cheese grease gets all over everything, and frankly makes a much less impressive final food.

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Ed (Jack Norris) said on June 13th, 2013 at 1:20 pm

1. How about processed slices, the kind you use to make cheap-restaurant-style grilled cheese sandwiches (the kind we all liked as kids)? Couldn’t that be an adequate substitute?

2. There’s a difference between sweet pickles and bread & butter pickles? I’ve honestly never heard of there being one before.

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mygif

Am I reading this correctly? Should I be able to just pop my four clenched fingers into my mouth?

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Thomas Wilde said on June 14th, 2013 at 5:41 am

That is such a happy cartoon version of you that it looks like some kind of horrible trap.

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mygif

Hm. I’m wondering if the brand of cheddar I buy, Cabot, is less greasy somehow? I use it in melty things all the time and while it does give off *some* grease, it’s not enough to soak things like you describe.

But I’ll also bow to experience. It’s just that “American” cheese genuinely weirds me out, despite living off it as a kid.

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mygif

Your mom seems nice, the recipe is interesting, and I love the “Rex TMFWD” calendar.

ETA: I work in a deli, and I can assure any doubters that there are vast gulfs of difference between Cheddar, American, and Velveeta, especially with regard to their melting properties. Cabot is generally a drier Cheddar, in that it doesn’t let off quite as much grease on melting, but it still lets off some, and that’s going to throw off your mix.

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[…] It’s been a good two months since Saveur has run any recipe comics, which means I guess I should be prodding people more to produce some of them things. I can put you in touch with their digital editor, and it’s my understanding that the checks she cuts for accepted comics cash without problems. In any event, Christopher Bird of Mighty God King (and the writerly half of the stellar Al’Rashad, which improbably keeps getting better) teamed up with Shelli Hay to present a family recipe on his own damn site. […]

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