“You clearly moved the Sexbot to the discount table. No sale!”
I don’t care how safe your taxidermy practices are. I’ll only rent him out if you can guarantee that he’ll be returned without damages.
“Whaddya mean, ‘the seal’s broken’?”
Also, the weirdest thing about this panel is the couple in the back really into Veronica’s old leather thigh-highs.
I don’t think they’re thigh-highs… I think they’re just shoes-with-attached-greaves, for some reason.
“I said no!!! I’m the only one who gets to play Mistress Veronica, Dominatrix of Humiliation, with Archie!”
“Damnit, Betty, slavery was abolished by the 13th amendment! I’ve told you time and time again, no human trafficking!”
“He’s not a ventriloquist’s dummy! He just wants you to shove your hand up his ass.”
You cannot put a dollar value on Archie’s love, Betty. You must bring me the heart of an innocent child, washed clean of blood by its mother’s tears.
Seems Nancy is looking forward to walking all over Chuck’s back in those boots when they play “The Safeword is Jughead”
“Put the money away, Betty. You don’t want the ‘kinky boots,’ you just want to punch black people.”
“The Supreme Court ruling was for gay marriage, not polygamous marriage… oh what the hell, sure, let’s both hitch to Archie and have awesome threeways.”
“A private dance is three hundred. Five hundred and I’ll wear the boots.”
“I’ll sell him to you, but the rules of ownership are clear: don’t get him wet, don’t feed him after midnight and don’t expose him to sunlight.”
“No, Betty, the money is not for sale. Even if it were, creepy ventriloquist puppets are not an acceptable medium of exchange.”
“I don’t know a fair price. I don’t have to pay for it.”
Five bucks? Honey, this Archie Real Doll set me three grand!
$10? I haven’t put a price on a single tag, why do all keep offering me money? It’s a metaphor – see? All of it is ultimately worthless. This is my art. ART…….. $1000 and it’s yours.
“I never should have bought that vintage “Veronica’s Garage Sale” sign, now every time I open my damn door, this happens.”
“Betty, now is not the time. There is clearly not enough room on any of these tables.”
[DEAFENING OWL SCREECH]
“For one used Archie, you have a deal — but by ‘used,’ I mean to say that Reggie’s hands have been everywhere.”
“ghIchwIj DabochmoHchugh, ghIchlIj qanob.”
[“If you shine my nose, I will give you your nose.”]
Improvements for Archienon
“That’s $20 for oral, $30 for straight sex, $40 for a half and half, and $60 for anal. You hand the money to me, ’cause I’m the pimp and Archie’s the ho.”
Guy fingering the sweet spot, two firm balls, a couple of bags, a basket-case, some girl twiddling knobs, something shady just out of view, a g-string, some drawers, and thigh high boots, and you want ME to come up with an innuendo?
“Your money’s no good here. Orders from the Weatherbee.”
“Pay up, I won the bet. One dollar. We took a perfectly useless high school student like Archie, and turned him into a successful executive. Now, what are we going to do about taking Winthorpe back and returning Archie to high school.”
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