Dilton: Yes! You can most benefit from this!
Jughead: Where the hell is that music coming from, and why do I have a sudden urge to pick up a thigh bone and bash your head in?
Dilton: My precious bodily fluids!
Jughead: Frozen and vertical! Your urine is amazing!
“I am Dilton,King of Kings! Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!”
“Dilton, you’ve got to stop smoking crack with Rob Ford.”
“At last! It’s mine! All mine!”
“Wow! You really DID find a golden ticket!”
We found it in the chimp enclosure of the zoo.
My god, it’s full of… banana? Does it come in black?
“But how are you going to get your pants on, afterwards?”
DILTON: Transmagnetism has decoupled the fourth wall! We are finally free!
JUGHEAD: You’re exposing us to the unfiltered anarchic subjectivism of the internet! The frame can’t take much more of this!
You out there! Put your pants back on!
“BEHOLD my VISION!”
“Uh… it’s great, Dil, but I’m not sure the world is ready for ‘2001 – A Tapeworm Odyssey.'”
“I have harnessed the power of YELLOW!”
Punchline in next panel (panel missing).
Dilton: Behold, I have resurrected the Twinkie!
Jughead: But… the edges. IT’S AN ABOMINATION!
“I remember the maps of the Holy Land. Coloured they were. Very pretty. The Dead Sea was pale blue. The very look of it made me thirsty. That’s where we’ll go, I used to say, that’s where we’ll go for our honeymoon. We’ll swim. We’ll be happy.”
“You should have been a poet.”
“It’s my masterpiece!”
“It’s a yellow rectangle. WTF?”
Dilton: I created a Monolith!
Jughead: All praise and power be to the yellow rectangle!
“This GMO ‘smart wheat’ is weaving the world’s largest graham cracker by itself!”
“…you have ruined s’mores for me forever. I’d just gotten over the fish gelatin in my favorite brand of marshmallows. You monster.“
Dilton: I know… it’s up… to me!
Jughead: You steal my sunshine?
DILTON: I call it “Super American Cheese”.
JUGHEAD: That’s just wrong on so many levels.
“Behold – The Caption!”
“We… we can set our OWN context! Anything is possible!”
Dilton: Giant post-it notes for any occasion!
Jughead: Does it have to be plugged in to stick to the walls?
“BEHOLD, I HAVE OPENED THE GATE! THE KING IN YELLOW COMES!”
“Behold! The Hollerith Card of the Gods!”
“Can we use it to pay my tab at Pop’s?”
Dilton: “I have revolutionized Time Travel!!!”
Jughead: “By…turning Dr. Doom’s time platform…on it’s side? Oh, Man, Dilton! We HAVE to get you LAID!!!”
Dilton: And by combining the Golden Razzie nominees for “Worst Film”; We have a Negative Zone trap all set for Betty!
Jughead: Are you sure she can’t sic the Digital Millennium Copyright Act on us?
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