“We’re from the phone company.”
*holds up phone*
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I never drive faster than I can see. Besides that, it’s all in the reflexes.
Shut up, Mr. Burton! You are not brought upon this world to get it!
“I’m going to tell you about an accident, and I don’t want to hear “act of God”!”
Son of a bitch must pay!
This is Jack Burton in the Pork Chop Express, and I’m talkin’ to whoever’s listenin’ out there.
How’d you get up there?
Wasn’t easy!
What? WHAT will come out no more?
Nothing or double, Jack.
We really shook the pillars of heaven, didn’t we Want?
This really pisses me off!
This is just so shocking. I mean I must just be so monumentally naive.
Everybody relax, I’m here.
– You know what old Jack Burton says at a time like this?
– Who?
– Jack Burton. ME.
—
You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we’re not back by dawn, call the president.
“We may be trapped.”
Here’s to the army and navy, and the battles they have won. Here’s to America’s colours, the colours that never run.
Actually, I feel pretty good.
“What the hell is Gracie Law doing here?”
-You can go off and rule the universe from beyond the grave.
-Indeed!
-Or check into a psycho ward, which ever comes first, huh?
Let me guess; it’s an elevator and it only goes down.
– Oh, a six-demon bag!
– Terrific, a six-demon bag. Sensational. What’s in it, Egg?
– Wind, fire, all that kind of thing!
“May the wings of libery never lose a feather.”
“Have you paid your dues, Jack? Yes sir, the check is in the mail.”
It sure is raining cats and dogs!
“The Chinese have a lot of hells.”
Are you crazy? Is that your problem?
Yessir, the check is in the mail
Youn never could beat me Egg Shen.
Hey it’s my truck. MY TRUCK!
What’s it do ?
Huge buzz.
We take what we want and leave the rest, just like your salad bar.
When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like that: “Have ya paid your dues, Jack?” “Yessir, the check is in the mail.
You just listen to the old Pock Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night. When the lightnings crashing and the thunders rolling and the rains coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the Earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of heaven shake.Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big storm right square in the and he says give your best shot pal I can take it.
Hey, I’m a reasonable guy. But I’ve just experienced some very unreasonable things.
What does that mean? Huh? “China is here.” I don’t even know what the hell that means.
Hey, I’m a reasonable guy. But I’ve just experienced some very unreasonable things.
“That is not water.”
“Black blood of the earth.”
“Do you mean oil?”
“I mean black blood of the earth!”
“Chinese got a lot of hells, Jack.”
Just remember what ol’ Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol’ storm right square in the eye and he says, “Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it.”
I’m gonna tell you about an accident, and I don’t want to hear “Wrath of God”!
The girl with the green eyes!
Is this gonna get ugly, now? Huh? I hope not. Because I thought what we were here, racial differences notwithstanding, was just a couple of old friends. You know, just both of us Californians.
Let’s talk about my condition.
What’s wrong with it?
Heeheeheeheeheeheehee /creepy old asian man laughter
Feel pretty good. I’m not, uh, I’m not scared at all. I just feel kind of… feel kind of invincible.
Me, too. I got a very positive attitude about this.
Good, me too.
*truck starts*
What was that?
6.9 on the Richter scale!
-Ready Jack?
-I was born ready.
*taps wall with knife*
– two to three feet thick, I’ll bet. Probably welded shut from the outside and covered with brick by now.
– Don’t give up, Jack!
– OK, I won’t, Wang, let’s just *chew* our way outta here!
“I don’t want to insult you, Jack.”
“No, no. Insult me.”
This pisses me off to no end!
Good knife. Good-bye Mr Burton.
“What does that say?”
“Hell of Boiling Oil.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Yeah, I am. It says Keep Out.”
“The”
“and”
“it”
“what”
“he”
“she”
“Hollow?”
“Hollow.”
“Fuck it”
*cuts through painting with knife*
– A brave man likes the feel of nature on his face, Jack
– Yeah, and a wise man has enough sense to get in out of the rain!
“What’s that say?”
“Hell of Boiling Oil.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Yeah, I am. It says ‘keep out.'”
What’s a matter Jack, you never plug a guy before?
Course not.
China is here Mr. Burton
INDEED!
“You mean the David Lo Pan that’s chairman of the National Orient Bank and owns the Wing Kong Import/Export Trading Company but who’s so reclusive that nobody’s laid eyes on this guy in years?!?”
“Who the hell are you, anyway?”
“The Wing Kong Exchange? The most dangerous cut-throat den of madmen in Chinatown? You can’t just waltz in and out of there like–”
“–like the Wind! Yes I can, Miss Law. My mind and my spirit are as one.”
“As two! I said I was coming…”
“Alright – we’re almost out of here. Now from here on it gets pretty normal – offices, storerooms, a nice false front. I count to three, I open that door, we move out. Ready? Follow the leader! One, two, three!”
(Opens door – sees lots of heavily armed guards standing on the other side – immediately shuts door.)
“We may be trapped…”
Wang, “Cops got better things to do than get killed”
Jack, “Oh yeah? So do I!”
No horseshit, Jack.
Wang, “A brave man likes the feel of nature on his face, Jack.”
Egg Shen, “Yeah, and a wise man has enough sense to get In out of the rain!”
“Oh! This pisses me off to no end!”
Would you stop rubbing your body up against mine, because I can’t concentrate when you do that.
*holds breath*
*explodes*
Chinese standoff. Don’t make a sound….
You can go the light’s green.
*skewered by sword*
*Eyacch*
Black blood of the Earth!
“You can’t find one girl to fit the bill in two thousand years? Come on, Dave, you must be doing something SERIOUSLY wrong!”
“Time for the medicine.”
“…what will it do?”
“Let you see things nobody else can see, do things nobody else can do.”
“REAL things?”
“As real as Lo Pan.”
Jack: “And you can go off and rule the universe from beyond the grave!”
Lo Pan: “Indeed!”
Jack: “Or check into a psycho ward, which ever comes first, huh?… What? I’m supposed to buy this shit? 2000 years and you can’t find one broad to fit the bill? Come on Lo, you must be doing something seriously wrong here.”
Jack:I can get another truck.
Wang:But there’s only one Miyao Yin!
Henry Swanson’s my name, and excitement’s my game.
:fires shots into the air:
:is knocked out by falling debris:
That’s why the bottle didn’t slice. My mind and my spirit are goin’ north and south.
“Oh there have been others, of course. But you strike me as a man who understands the difficulties between men and women, how seldom it works out. But still, we keep trying like fools!”
I took something. I can see things no one else can see. Why’re you dressed like that?
“Hold on, you’re telling me that while these guys are flying around on wires and slicin’ each other to pieces, this guy just stands there, waiting for me to drive my truck right THROUGH him? With LIGHT comin’ out of his eyes?”
“Which David Lo Pan…little ol’ basket-case on wheels, or the 8-foot tall roadblock?”
“Mutual Fidelity Insurance of Sacramento! Well, there’s gotta be a listing, honey, I pay ’em 6 G’s a year in premiums!”
We really shook the pillars of heaven, didn’t we Wang?
No horseshit Jack?
No horseshit Wang.
“Aren’t you even gonna kiss her?”
“Nope.”
“WHERE ARE WE, WANG?”
“THE HELL OF THE UPSIDE-DOWN SINNERS!”
“Do you have a gun, I hope?”
“I have a knife.”
“A knife? This guy’s twelve feet tall!”
“Seven. Hey, don’t worry, I can handle him.”
“I can see things no else can see…*pause*…why are you dressed like that.”
“Wang, these guys, these Sing Dings…”
“Chang Sings.”
“They got enemies?”
“Wing Kong.”
“Who wear red turbans?”
[sees they’re now surrounded by Wing Kong warriors] “Holy SHIT! These guys are animals, Jack!”
“Hahahahaha! I can help you!”
“Oh god, what is that thing? Don’t tell me!”
“Master, you are flesh!”
And special deleted quote:
“I feel better now, I really do.”
What is this?
Powered deer horn.
*deleted quote*
May the wings of freedom never lose a feather
I know! I know! You’d go along but there’s something wrong with your face.
Margo: God, aren’t you even gonna kiss her goodbye?
Jack Burton: Nope.
That’s it man, game over man,
GAME OVER!
Master you are flesh.
What I’d like to do today is get your version of what happened.
You leave Jack Burton alone!
Heaven and Earth boys, what can I tell ya.
She has green eyes Jack.
How can you tell from here?
Excuse me, I don’t suppose you saw, no I guess not.
Cash or charge?
Oh cash, I dont’t think that this is tax deductible, is it?