From the comments, a while back:
Now the question is whether we start a petition asking you publish Vampire Hitler
Well, it’s not finished as such. Hence why I’m still working on it.
However, I will confess that it contains the following things:
– a race war between the incoming Aryan vampires and the city’s native vampires, which are largely black,
– a jive-talking number one soul brother vampire who got turned in the 1970s,
– an order of vampire-hunting rabbis, including one shot with all of them walking towards the camera in slow motion, their long black coats fluttering behind them,
– an archvillain who has a cane tipped with a sharpened diamond, which he uses as a weapon,
– a RENEGADE COP, LIVING ON THE EDGE,
– and a chainsaw shaped like a Star of David.
And yes, it was originally meant as a serious project for a direct-to-video distribution model. The conversation that spawned the concept essentially went as follows:
ME: Okay, so if we wanted to do a straight-to-DVD project, what would be a good concept?
OTHER GUY: Has to be horror, of course.
ME: Right, but it has to be good horror. High concept horror. What’s a good bad guy?
OTHER GUY: …Hitler?
ME: Good, but it needs something more. What’s worse than Hitler?
OTHER GUY: …Hitler and he’s a ninja?
ME: That’s not a horror movie, though.
OTHER GUY: Hitler and he’s a vampire?
ME: YES.
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– and a chainsaw shaped like a Star of David.
I can’t think of a proper response to that (or this spec in general), except to declare that it is correct. Simply and purely correct. Thank you.
This movie must be produced. Because even if you couldn’t keep the story going for the 90-120 minutes of a direct to video shoot, the trailer that included the elements you listed above would be the Best Thing Ever.
I liked it better when you made fun of comics and petitioned to write The Legion.
Now you’re just kind of dull.
I’m weeping on the inside, believe me.
Just create a bunch of trailers promoting movie ideas like this. Like what they did for Grindhouse.
That way you don’t have to kill yourself over trying to create dialogue around a scene that would necessitate a chainsaw shaped like the star of david.
Star of David….
Chainsaw.
That is as awesome as it is insane and logically improbable.
Thank you sir.
Now, would the teeth of the chainsaw be shaped like a star of david, or the body of the chainsaw?
And here I thought Bubba-Ho-Tep was unadulterated brilliance. This movie: it must be made.