A play, in one act.

Enter TWO COMICS GEEKS.

Each GEEK opens up a copy of All-Star Batman and Robin #1. They begin reading.

GEEK ONE: This beginning is…
GEEK TWO: Shit?
GEEK ONE: Would Frank Miller and Jim Lee combined make shit?
GEEK TWO: Surely this cannot be shit.
GEEK ONE: Perhaps we should read some more, to make sure of whether or not it is shit.

They put down issue number one and pick up issue number two.

GEEK ONE: This is starting to look very much like shit.
GEEK TWO: I concur with your declaration of shit.
GEEK ONE: Perhaps this shit is just a slow start, though?
GEEK TWO: I’m willing to give this shit a little more time.

They put down issue number two and pick up issue number three.

GEEK ONE: …wow, this really is shit.
GEEK TWO: I am amazed at how shit this is.
GEEK ONE: Black Canary is Irish? What the fuck is up with that shit?
GEEK TWO: Wow, Frank Miller’s rerunning his Superman versus Batman story again? That is some serious shit there.

They put down issue number three and pick up issue number four.

GEEK ONE: Holy shit, look at this triple gatefold foldout page of the Batcave!
GEEK TWO: Shit yes.
GEEK ONE: On the other hand, Batman just dumped Robin in the cave to die. What the shit?
GEEK TWO: I wonder if this is shit on purpose.

They put down issue number four and pick up issue number five.

GEEK ONE: Shit, Superman made out with Wonder Woman.
GEEK TWO: That’s total shit. Frank Miller has to know this is total shit. Right?
GEEK ONE: I’m starting to agree with you. This is some purposeful shit right here.
GEEK TWO: This is glorious shit.

They put down issue number five and pick up issue number six.

GEEK ONE: Shit yes! This shit is a parody!
GEEK TWO: Frank Miller is feeding us shit and making us love it!
GEEK ONE: I love reading shit!
GEEK TWO: This is classic shit right here!

They put down issue number six and pick up issue number seven.

GEEK ONE: This is some genius shit.
GEEK TWO: This is shit dialed up to eleven!
GEEK ONE: This is seriously postmodernist shit!
GEEK TWO: This is shit as critical commentary on the form itself!

They put down issue number seven anjd pick up issue number eight.

GEEK ONE: …you know, I appreciate that this shit is clever, but…
GEEK TWO: …in the end, no matter how crazy this shit is, it’s still shit.
GEEK ONE: Why am I buying this shit again?
GEEK TWO: Isn’t there less obvious shit we could be buying?

Exeunt.

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