(Part one here. Part two here. This was originally supposed to be a three-day block of posts, but, well, we all know what happened there.)
3
Nov
MGK Versus His Adolescent Reading Habits, Part The Last
Posted by MGK Published in Bad Comedy, Books, Here's A Lot Of Photoshops, Photoshopp'dSearch
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In fairness, Lensmen preceded Green Lanterns (and given Julie Schwartz’ background, it’s reasonable to think they inspired the Silver Age GLs). Also, Stranger doesn’t actually have any sex on Mars; it’d be better as “Let’s Have Sex With A (Adopted) Martian”.
You know, if Lucas had just said “screw the prequels” and turned the Timothy Zahn books into movies, I think we wouldn’t have lost a generation.
Didn’t realize that you were so young that would be considered “adolescent” reading for you, though. 🙂
My one pure fanboy rage moment came when I read an interview with Lucas before the first prequel even had a name. They asked him how his movies would tie in with Zahn’s work and Lucas was pretty much a dick about it. He considered the franchise stuff to be things that tarnished his vision. I pretty much made up my mind to boycott the movie when it opened. I felt greatly vindicated when the critics and fans panned it.
‘Sex, Drugs and Bavarians’ was funny but I still read it every two years.
Again, amazing. Thank u.
“Didn’t realize that you were so young that would be considered “adolescent” reading for you, though.”
To be fair, the first book is now 17 years old. I’m 31 now and I read it when I was 15-16.
I first saw Heir to the Empire in a Waldenbooks while I was on summer vacation with my family in Maine. I insisted on getting it – in hardcover, a massive extravagance for a 15-year-old – and said “screw the beach” for two straight days.
Nice stuff.
I actually just re-read the Zahn trilogy a couple of months back. It’s surprising how well it holds up; you have to assume it happens in a completely different continuity from the prequels for it to make any sense at all, but that’s easier than it sounds, because stylistically, Zahn is working off of a totally different model from Lucas. Instead of trying to convey the flash and excitement of the films, he writes a sharp, savvy techno-thriller.
And it is, as has been pointed out, 100% Anakin-free. And 125% Jar Jar-free.
Shouldn’t it be “Green Lanterns and Jedi are wimps”?
I dunno… MGK makes it sound like scientists can’t just do *any*thing that they want to.
Boy, you ain’t kidding about Nor Crystal Tears. One of the best things Foster ever wrote, to be certain, and one of the most compelling non-humanoid viewpoint stories around, IMNSHO.
And here I thought the Lensman stuff would be about the incest…
You know, what really worries me is that I recognize all but three covers out of the three posts, and get the humor. I really need a life 😉
“And here I thought the Lensman stuff would be about the incest…”
Nah, if Martin got out of the dogpile with “Knights Who Say Fuck” on that score, Smith was golden.
Martin doesn’t endorse incest. Smith and Heinlein? Let’s just say I wouldn’t invite them to stay over in a house with children in it.
Heinlein: You left out the cannibalism, the orgies, and the part where I can’t believe nobody’s yet found a way to work the word ‘grok’ into their response yet.
I have no idea who Alan Dean Foster is, and I’m aware that that drawing doesn’t quite look like a real human, but still – lady astronauts with pixie haircuts are always hot. I think it’s a law of the universe, or something.
But really, when you have this as your adolescent reading basis, what do you grow up *into?* Oprah’s book club? Books that feel no need to adhere to creativity-limiting structures like grammar and three acts?
I read classics every once in a while to remind myself that I’m not a moron, and then I follow up with a little Dean Koontz. To make the pain go away.
…What’s the last one? The book cover doesn’t look familiar…
Aulayan, have you read anything by Clarke?
I kid, I kid. I’m pretty certain that’s a cover to one of the 2001 sequels. I couldn’t tell you which, but with that series it hardly matters.
Will: I hear Heinlein likes to GROK!
*cheering from crowd*
Re: what KittyCat said, I read and loved a lot of these(from all three parts) when I was young(you left out Andre Norton), still do love them, but I also love Jane Austen and Dumas, so…hmmm. Not sure what that says about me. I do tend to give slack to stories that have characters I like even if plot and structure are iffy.
Huh, three writers (Scott, Miller Jr, and Goldman) I’m totally unfamiliar with. Weird…
Goldman is The Princess Bride, which frankly is a much better novel than movie. Yes, really.
“Jews are Immortal For Some Reason” is A Canticle for Liebowitz, right?
Also, you needed to be meaner to Orson Scott Card.
Oh, Heir to the Empire. I really need to read that trio again. Zahn’s good.
Alternate suggestion for the Memory, Sorrow, and Thorn novels:
NARCOLEPTIC HERO SAVES THE DAY
or
JESUS CHRIST SIMON FAINTED AGAIN
and for the Game of Thrones books:
EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER DESERVES TO DIE AND BE FED TO DOGS
I’m pretty sure that retard giant who carries around the crippled Stark boy (you know, the one Jaime threw out a window) doesn’t deserve to die and be fed to dogs. But it’s been a while since I read the books, so maybe I’ve forgotten where he rapes a nun or something. I think I’m a book behind, too, but can you blame me for not wanting to go into that crapsack of a world again?
Okay.
EVERY CHARACTER THAT’S NOT A RETARD DESERVES TO DIE AND BE FED TO DOGS.
Or is that too wordy?
Ah, Dragons of Autumn Twilight. The book that got me into reading fantasy and my personal canon as to what dragons should be like.
I’ve read my copy so many times it sits in three pieces on the shelf. Easily my favorite joke on the list.
What I really want to know is, who’s the guy from Babylon 5 in the wheelchair?
Game of Thrones: DON’T GET TOO ATTACHED TO ANYONE.
Oh – BTW, a buddy of mine wrote his dissertation on Heinlien. He had a correspondence with Virginia, and eventually got to know her well enough to ask about thier sex life.
The answer was (paraphrased) “Oh, Robert talked a good game, but he really was very vanilla. He would have said that he was a ‘prisoner of his times.'”
Lamont
Something Awful did it earlier, but this is still funny.
Sherri Tepper: LESBIAN FEMINISTS SAVE THE UNIVERSE
I have felt the whole Fire and Ice series by George R.R. Martin should be called “No Honorable Deed Goes Unpunished”. Even when the “bad guys” start regretting some of their actions and do something honorable, they pay for it (think Jaime Lanister and losing his hand).
H.P.Lovecraft: LOTS OF FANCY VOCABULARY (and tentacles)
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Still looking for the cover to Philip K. Dick’s “This Would Be a Great Idea for a Movie” (but which one to choose?)
[…] Mightygodking.com » Post Topic » MGK Versus His Adolescent Reading Habits, Part The Last (SF,Fanta… […]
Mark Hall and Lawnmower Boy — where are you getting an association between Smith and incest? There’s one reference to a possible future event in one book, and that’s involving adult sibling post-humans (Children of the Lens); I can’t think of anything else, and nothing explicit at all.
Heinlein obviously wrote about it much more clearly; though I think being afraid for children near him is idiotic.
Agree with dd-b. No reason whatsoever for RAH or any of his characters not to be allowed near children.
I can’t believe Lamont Cranston is here!
[…] “MGK Versus His Adolescent Reading Habits” series: parts one, two, and three. I laughed so hard I choked, for […]
I liked Alan Dean Foster’s Humanx Commonwealth. It show’s (do I need the apostrophe here?)one of the very few good characterisations of non-human characters/civilisations.
You should read Heinlein’s history of the “Howard-Family” to get something about incest. Everything else after that is pretty tame.
Fenlika
[…] ztąd, nawet większość pojazdów zrozumiałem.1 […]
Here via a link from Livejournal.
Smith and incest and unsafeness round kids – we’re talking about “Children of the Lens” and Kim Kinnison’s highly super-powered children, yes? In fairness to Smith, all five of them were described by the deus ex machina Mentor as “even less human than I am”, and that plus the need to populate the next race of galactic guardians IMO relaxed that particular taboo. In any case, all of them are adults when the canon wraps up (Kit is five years beyond his 18th birthday at the start of the novel, his two youngest sisters five years younger) and the incest was only briefly hinted at as their long-term destiny.
[…] that the links in this old post work again!) Turns out that he went back for a third round… check it out, won’t […]
Hilarious! Especially the Eragon and Twilight ones!
side-splittingly hilarious… but maybe paolini got off too easily?
The “100% Anakin Free” made me punch the air in triumph
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