27

Jul

They always censor my “worse than Hitler” jokes

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My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist.

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Lister Sage said on July 27th, 2009 at 1:30 pm

The Wanted: If your not going to bring these guys in then what’s the fucking point? Now I didn’t watch the show, but if you can find the location of an alleged Al-Qaeda funder by looking it up on Wikipedia then they aren’t shooting to high are they? What the fuck?

More to Love: Ah, but this is Hollywood we’re talking about here. If you not addicted-to-meth skinny then your a Fatty McFat fatty and you need to be reminded of this fact fatty.

I want a Bowie knife. The Bowie knife invented by David Bowie. It comes packaged with a codpiece.

The Simpsons: I love Grandpa Simpson with his long rambling stories that don’t lead anywhere. “Now we had to use the word dickety because the Kiser had stolen are word for twenty. I cased after him, but gave up after dickety-six miles.”

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Scavenger said on July 27th, 2009 at 2:27 pm

Is the woman in the red dress a “More to Love” type?

Boy is my hotness meter miscalibrated for TV.

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equinox216 said on July 27th, 2009 at 5:47 pm

I’ll only be impressed by TV’s ‘acceptance’ when they air “More Than You Can Bear”, the dating show for fat hairy gay guys.

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Josh R said on July 27th, 2009 at 6:41 pm

Was your “worse then Hitler” joke in regards to “What not to wear”? If so I reluctantly agree. I thought the british version with the two women was pretty good, but every time I see this version I’m struck by the realization that if I went on it, there would inevitably be a point at which they would have to drag me off of Clinton’s broken corpse.

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Josh R said on July 27th, 2009 at 6:45 pm

Also, what the hell is going on with that english soldier looking guy in the image at the top? It looks like he’s some kind of half-pig mutant with a mouth designed to open wider then his head can allow.

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Evan Waters said on July 27th, 2009 at 7:34 pm

That’s Tracy Jordan in whiteface as Thomas Jefferson.

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Zenrage said on July 27th, 2009 at 8:31 pm

I want a Bowie knife. The Bowie knife invented by David Bowie. It comes packaged with a codpiece.

Be careful: Re-sheathing that knife could be painful.

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Dayv said on July 28th, 2009 at 1:13 am

If there is a more depressing show on television than The Bachelor and its spawn, Televisualist is not sure what it could be.

I used to work with a guy who was addicted to reality TV and watched all these shows at work.  One of the most depressing moments of my life was when I realized that I’d developed an opinion about which girl should win on The Bachelor.

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Dayv said on July 28th, 2009 at 1:16 am

I want a Bowie knife. The Bowie knife invented by David Bowie. It comes packaged with a codpiece.

Be careful: Re-sheathing that knife could be painful.

I used to know a dude who accidentally stabbed himself in the crotch while browsing at a knife store.  He managed to halve his chances of being a dad, chip his pelvis, and give himself a permanent limp.

Remember kids: if you drop a knife, do not attempt to catch it.  Just put your hands out and take a step back.

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Dayv said on July 28th, 2009 at 1:17 am

Apparently, nested blockquotes don’t work here.

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Rob Brown said on July 28th, 2009 at 8:42 pm

“Now we had to use the word dickety because the Kiser had stolen are word for twenty. I cased after him, but gave up after dickety-six miles.”

Dickety? Highly dubious!

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