RAMIFICATIONS OF DISNEY BUYING MARVEL
– Storm now officially a “Disney Princess.”
– Northstar not de-gayified, but just once again shuffled off into the Gay Corner, where the gays live. Nobody discusses the Gay Corner. Ever. They are there, because Disney is inclusive of all peoples. We just don’t talk about them.
– All people now stabbed by Wolverine’s claws miraculously survive.
– Young Avengers/Jonas Brothers – the smash comic hit of 2010!
– Ghost Rider now a comic about a lonely heroic ghost and his pet motorcycle Beepy.
Add your own in comments, people.
Related Articles
105 users responded in this post
The Punisher: Funzone
X-men Theme Parks with the MAGNETO-TRON roller coaster (“It like magic, but magnets!”)
You can mock all you want, but I am sincerely looking forward to more kittens in my comics. I bet Captain America runs right out and adopts ALL the Aristocats.
Please stop making jokes until after I get my webcomic on this subject for IESB.net done, okay? I need to look at least halfway original, and I’m sure no matter what I come up with, it’ll appear here in the next six hours or less…
Mickey’s Organism Designed Only for Kuteness
*crumples up paper, starts over*
Kingdom Hearts X! Lead your party of Spiderman, Squall Lionheart, and Donald Duck into battle against Sephiroth, Dr Doom and the Country Bear Jamboree!
(Creepy fanfic doujinshi based upon this work are not approved by Disney or its shareholders)
(Cut and pasted from my Disney/Marvel comments, because more people read your comments)
Simba’s a skrull.
I’d pay money to see World War Stitch.
Jeph Loeb should write ULTIMATE COMICS GOOFY.
DISNEY ZOMBIES.
Warren Ellis’ latest project, NUCROSSGEN: FUTURE ELECTRIC GODS.
New Incredibles, Mighty Incredibles, Dark Incredibles, and The Avengers: Incredibles.
Garth Ennis gives you the Mickey in MICKEY MOUSE MAX.
CondorMan replaces Nighthawk in Joe Casey’s LAST NEW SECRET DEFENDERS miniseries.
Simba vs. T’Challa in WAR OF KINGS II.
Duck Tales: Noir.
Beauty and The Beast is an obvious one.
ROM-COM: Space Nights.
And, of course…
Anita Blake: Disney Princess.
Millie the Model will not only have to put on some damn clothes, but issue a public apology for letting down the children of America and explaining that she never knew how skimpy those outfits were until she saw the pictures.
PET AVENGERS vs. Cruella DeVille.
Ben Grimm as Bluebeard added to Pirates of the Caribbean ride.
Scrooge McDuck joins The Cabal.
Does this mean Spider Man and the Hulk will be in the next Kingdom Hearts game?
DONALD DUCK: THE END
Pixar’s ROCKET RACCOON.
Actually, that one doesn’t sound half bad…
As stated earlier: Bendis adds Super Goof to the New Avengers. PAD adds Ariel to X-Factor.
Magic Kingdom Civil War.
Tomorrowland: Sponsored by Stark Industries
Scrooge McDuck: The Kingpin
Space Mountain becomes Thunderbolts Mountain
Darkwing Duck: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Andrew: That one made me snort so hard people in the adjoining cubes made sure I was okay.
Stilt-Man: The Ride
Oh, forgot:
MALIFICENT/MEPHISTO OTP!
Kathryn Immonen’s Patsy Walker mini-series becomes the first live action Disney Princess movie?
Gaston meets the Punisher?
James Woods plays Dr. Doom as a neurotic New York Jew?
Goofy inadvertantly blows up a kindergarten, triggering the Anthropomorph Registration Act. Mickey Mouse goes underground to fight it and gets Thumper killed along the way, only to surrender when a couple firemen say mean things about him. Joss Whedon is quoted saying “Hey man, don’t try and pin this one on me.”
Disney shuts down “traditional comic art” section of Marvel, farms all art out to some dude with photoshop.
Archie Andrews: One More Day
Wait, sorry, different post. Carry on.
Howard the Duck moves to Duckburg.
Disney on Ice Presents: Squirrel Girl with Chip N Dale!
Actually, on the plus side, this actually should resolve the whole “Howard the Duck looks too much like Donald” issue…
Rescue Rangers/Great Lake Avengers Team up.
Deadpool contractually required to refer to something as a “Mickey Mouse organization” at least once every two issues.
Wolverine retroactively appears in Cinderella, Dumbo, Pinocchio, Fantasia, Aladdin, Lion King, Mulan, and the Great Mouse Detective.
I can only hope this is the precursor to a Marvel vs. Disney 2-d fighting game.
Has everybody already pointed out that from now on, comics will be pulled out of stores soon after they arrive, placed in the “Marvel Vault” and released again several years down the road?
After ignoring the hunter who went on to kill his mother, Bambi learns that with great power… comes great responsibility! Also, that humans are bastards.
Also, the variant covers — zombie Little Mermaid, the Genie with Barack Obama, and, of course, Frank Cho’s mostly-unclothed Disney Princesses.
Mickey, Minnie, Donald and Goofy starring as The Fantastic Four.
In 3D.
Also, Spider-Mouse.
Scrooge McDuck as The Kingpin just gave me a boner.
While Doctor Strange attends to matters of great existential importance on the Astral Plane, Wong must single-handedly defend the Sanctum Sanctorum against an onslaught of self-replicating, animate brooms summoned by a cleaning cantrip gone awry.
I don’t know what you’re all bitching about. I f can’t wait to hear they pushed Ultimate Alliance II back three months so they could work in a “Arcade takes over Disneyland” stage and add Mickey as a playable character. (‘Steamboat’ alt costume FTW!)
is THE INCREDIBLES now OFFICIALLY the “REAL” FF movie? “cuz I’m good with that.(And I strongly suspect we will NEVER see Howard the Duck again- and since Gerber’s gone, I’m good with that too).
“Donald, Howard. Howard, Donald.”
The Goofy and Galactus Movie? Cosmic Pals.
You know, now that Disney owns Marvel, when my kids inevitably ask me in the future: “Hey dad, is Spider-Man at Disneyland?” I can shed a happy tear and say “…yes, son,” knowing a childhood dream has finally come true.
Wolverine no longer even has claws, but he does shoot bubbles, a la a bubble pipe.
Dr. Doom no longer collects My Little Pony, preferring Disney merchandise.
Wait a minute, could this mean they can now say that Howard the Duck’s world is that of the disney world?
Beauty and the Man-Thing
Gustopher: Son of a, this is all a wheels-within-wheels countermove against Doom’s collection!
RIIIIIIICHAAAARDS!
Please stop making jokes until after I get my webcomic on this subject for IESB.net done, okay? I need to look at least halfway original, and I’m sure no matter what I come up with, it’ll appear here in the next six hours or less…
Good luck! You’ll need it, I fear.
I’ll be nice and keep my joke on the prior post, though. 🙂
X-Men vs. The Beagle Boys
Darkwing Duck joins the Avengers. “Avengers Assemble” scrapped for “Let’s Get Dangerous”.
No, Beatuy and the BiBeast. Which opens a whole nother can o worms when no one realizes it’s not a reference to his sexuality
Watcher in The Woodgod.
Captain Jack Sparrow versus The Sub-Mariner.
… I want that.
Okay, okay…
This summer: Amy Adams is Millie The Model.
Actually, that would work too.
Stitch and Deadpool. They Fight Crime.
I expect this means we’ll FINALLY see Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends on DVD … but only one and a half seasons of it.
(Yah, I’m still ticked about Gargoyles. They’re willing to let SLG make comics about it but they can’t be bothered to finish putting out season two? WTF?)
Pirates of the Caribbean 4: while searching for the fountain of youth, Captain Jack Sparrow and company stumble across an arctic village where the people worship a man entombed within a block of ice–a man, and his circular, oddly-painted shield…
You guys joke about Howard the Duck, but this is actually the perfect opportunity to do the character *right* with an animated movie.
Also, Patsy Walker is the perfect character for both studios to do together. And Dazzler. There MUST be a Dazzler movie.
@andrew foley
Rocket Raccoon = fuck yes
You know what? In all seriousness… if this gets a 1602 animated movie going forward? I am very in favor of this.
Stealing someone else’s comment at another blog:
“Finding Namor”
About half of these actually sound pretty fucking awesome. Me I’m looking forward to Buzz Lightyear joining the Guardians of the Galaxy and The Hood getting ousted by Ma Beagle…
best comments I’ve seen on either post so far: Duck Reign, Wong as the Sorcerer’s Apprentice
Admittedly, references to Darkwing Duck also make me happy. My own joke-making resources are sadly low right now.
Lockheed now appears in The Black Couldron
Talisman helps The Rescuers Down Under
Carl’s house-moving is solved with Pym particles
the Beagle Boys get inducted into the Hood’s organization
Disney pornographic fan-art becomes slightly more realistic
her cousin’s blood empowers She-Goof
a good show finds its way to The Disney Channel
Disney characters mention Fruit pies constantly
I, for one, can’t wait to see M.O.D.U.C.K.
Don’t forget that Disney owns The Muppets.
I can’t wait for the tales of how Wolverine fathered Animal, Beaker became Mr. Fantastic’s lab assistant, Gonzo is apprenticed and groomed to be the next Sorceror Supreme, or Fozzy finds the Infinity Gauntlet in his prop box.
5 years after the end of the movie, Earth has begun to flourish. Our hero is happy and content. But at the edge of our galaxy, doom approaches in the person of Galactus, Devourer of Worlds. Only by striking a deal and forever abandoning his home can our hero preserve his world and save the one he loves.
WALL-E: Herald of Galactus.
Wall-E: Herald of Galactus.
Damnit, I didn’t see Verk’s post before posting mine. :p
Ver, EVE would be way more bad-ass. Though WALL-E captures the Surfer’s anguish better.
In all seriousness, if this means a huge, high-production-value Marvel Theme Park, then this is 100% gold.
“Who’s the leader of the club that’s made for you and me? Dubya-oh, el-vee-ee, ar-eye-enn-ee yah! Wolverine…. Wolverine… we bravely march and wave our banners high High HIGH!”
And now, the brain bleach…
— Steve
Reason #31 why MGK should write Dr. Strange.
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.
Nobody hunts Spider-man like Gaston!
Peter Pan leaves Nevernever land for the Savage Lands.
(from a friend)
Face it, Tigger, you just hit the jackpot!
Aw, dammit, people already got to my Squirrel Girl/Rescue Rangers crossover.
We’re forgetting the most important part of Disney strategy: Broadway musical adaptations.
When I was bitten by the bug
It made me strong, and made me smug,
I got too famous to be bothered fighting crime.
I started altering my goals
Once Uncle Ben was full of holes;
I knew I should
Go serve the common good.
For a goon full of power
Has responsibilty,
Responsibility,
Responsibility.
Yes, a goon full of power
Has responsibility,
Or there’ll be a price to pay.
The Woot Blog has some excellent suggestions, as well.
It’s a Small World adds a Latverian section, featuring the traditional Doombots and cursing of Richards.
and no one arise the ones who bette rthan most will fit all this
Gargoyles/X-men – Stone mutations (just to see Goliath and wolverine clashing…you know you want it admit it)
Jaime: The Spider-Man broadway musical has been in development for like a year already.
The Spider-Man broadway musical has been in development for like a year already.
I know, and the fact that it has the same director as the Broadway Lion King can make for all kinds of delicious Disney synergy.
Jaime Weinman: I do not have enough hats to tip to you for those lyrics.
What will happen to Runaways? Any ideas?
Since its about evil parents and running away and you’ve got some darker themes (cutting, dark magic) and the main characters ran away.
And Disney has their “family-friendly” programming and all.
As a Floridian, all I can tell you is:
You do NOT f-ck with Disney. You simply DO NOT F-CK WITH THE MOUSE. They’ve gone after day care centers for God’s sake.
C’mon, all these Ducktales ideas and no Gizmoduck v. War Machine?
Bambi’s mom resurrected by ninja magic, becomes “bad girl” assassin. Mortified, Bambi puts on a weird S&M suit and becomes “Bambance”.
Mufasa merges with a cosmic entity, becomes reborn as “Dark Mufasa”.
The next summer crossover: Namor and Triton battle it out over the title of “King of the Seas”.
Jean Grey turns out not to be dead, but to instead have been swallowed by Monstro the whale.
Stitch becomes the new Wolverine, guest-starring in three or four books every month. The new series, “Stitch: Origins”, reveals shocking details about the experiment that created him. (Fans will be notoriously unhappy about the revelation that he has a son, Stitchan.)
Three words: Pixar. Spider-Ham.
Duck Tales: Noir.
I would actually pay money for that.
Pixar’s ROCKET RACCOON.
Actually, that one doesn’t sound half bad…
Want. NOW.
You know Disney SECRET WARS would be adorable.
HULK CUDDLE!!!!
Scrooge McDuck vs the Marvel Universe.
My money’s on McDuck.
When was it ever otherwise, when it wasn’t some nameless mook? And I’m including retcons, so those “deaths” don’t count. I can’t honestly think of anyone he’s killed that’s stayed dead, but then again, I am running on three hours of sleep here…
Ultimate Hundred-Acre Wood. Tigger’s the best there is at what he does, but what he does best isn’t very cuddly.
E. Mode invades New York – sartorially.
No, Bambi would ask Malificent to bring his mother back, but at the cost of his friendship with Flower.
And now Captain America will be hip and cool! No more not knowing what MySpace is, or NASCAR.
We get a Kitty Pryde movie starring Miley Cyrus and a CGI Lockheed. Except Kitty is no longer Jewish, because Disney only wants Christians to be heroes.
That Muppet one is BRILLIANT.
We all know Wolverine will now be in the next Kingdom Hearts game.
Doom is no longer scarred, but a furry beast beneath his mask.
Wolverine’s claws will have round tips
then again.. we might get a chance to finally see this brought into canon:
http://silver-sehkmet.deviantart.com/art/Boy-Genius-20-9720251
Boy Genius never gets old
Mojo Poppins. ‘Nuff said.
Iron Poppins!
(You just KNOW she has knickers of steel!)
Oh, and Thumper becomes a mutant…
Mowgli becomes Logan’s son…
And as far as The Incredible’s go, let’s just say there’s a throwdown at the Baxter Building.
I was hoping Oubiette from Morrison’s Marvel Boy would become a Disney princess.
Fight!
What will happen to Runaways? Any ideas?
Since its about evil parents and running away and you’ve got some darker themes (cutting, dark magic) and the main characters ran away.
And Disney has their “family-friendly” programming and all.
Please understand that Disney won’t have that much say in marvel comic. Philip morse owns Kraft and you don’t see Mac and Cheese Now with Smooth Tobacco flavor.
Well cant think of anything creative except for Marvel collectibles and weird snow globes erupting form Disney Stores, more adult themed Marvel rides at Disney parks (like a way to draw people to California Adventure, and finally an entire Marvel theme park with a grand Galactus versus everybody rollercoaster with several differnt tracks and stories going simultanously with picture options that can make you look like Skrulls. and a haunted house where Stan Lee is just ranting away and you cannot find a way out.
Wolverine will be in the next Kingdom Hearts. Rose petals will trail behind his claws during attacks. He’ll be from someplace far more exotic (and bishie-making) than Canada. And Jean will be his princess.
Scott will be unlockable as an optional group member who does nothing but pick (and lose) fights with Wolverine.
And nobody in comics will have more than three fingers ever again, forcing artists to draw Kurt not with a hand at all, but with flippers.
Stan Lee contractually obligated to be cryogenically frozen upon his death.
Read the first paragraph: MARVEL IS NOW IN THE HANDS OF SOMEBODY WHO GREW UP READING GOOD COMICS. This might be very interesting indeed…http://www.deadlinehollywooddaily.com/behind-the-scenes-of-disney-marvel-deal/
Oh my God, that’s really scary!
Verklemptomaniac has had the funniest ones so far.
House of M: Disneyland
Everyone. Just go to Deviant art to see all the possibilities. Goofy as Thor is the most common. *lol*
This is a Disney/Marvel art jam:
http://juggertha.deviantart.com/journal/26944642/
Altho my fave has to be Dr. Doombo:
http://skulker87.deviantart.com/art/Marvel-Madhouse-Doombo-54967341
I also like Pete as KingPin (cuz it just fits him perfectly) and Goofy as Magneto (we’re doomed).
Still waiting for Pluto and Figaro to join the Pet Avengers.
Oh and then there’s this. You know something bad’s gonna happen when Demona and Mystique team up!
http://xero87.deviantart.com/art/Mystique-Demona-90833330