May

Shorter Ben Stein

Posted by MGK Published in WTF

“Dominique Strauss-Kahn couldn’t have raped that woman because 1.) He’s never been caught raping anybody before, 2.) Economists don’t rape a whole lot, as a rule, 3.) He couldn’t have raped anybody without a weapon handy, 4.) Lots of hotel maids are bad people, and 5.) He’s rich and this is all made up or exaggerated because everybody hates the rich.”

I need Jimmy Kimmel to show up and just give this post a long, long stare.

Schmamergate and using irrelevancy as a weapon (September 4th, 2014)
So this was Twitter last night (December 6th, 2013)
Weapons-grade stupid (November 28th, 2013)
We’re so offended (October 15th, 2013)
Oh god just stop (June 14th, 2013)

28 users responded in this post

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John 2.0 said on May 17th, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Even shorter: It’s not right that he’s in jail, he’s a rich white guy.

Zenrage said on May 17th, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Every since Win Ben Stein’s Money went off the air, it seems like he’s become just totally batshit insane.

Brendan said on May 17th, 2011 at 4:01 pm

@Zenrage

I suspect he was always crazy, it’s just that he’s only slowly been revealing it.

Will said on May 17th, 2011 at 4:05 pm

He probably didn’t. But if he didn’t do it, Sarkozy set him up. I put very little past that little goblin man.

Will said on May 17th, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Damn it, probably did it, I meant to say. Probably did it.

Cookie McCool said on May 17th, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Wow. I was all trying to give it the benefit of the doubt, but you’re not even simplifying what he said, you really are just using fewer words. That’s awful. Fucking rich people!

BringTheNoise said on May 17th, 2011 at 7:07 pm

At what point does it become acceptable to just kill Ben Stein?

RAC said on May 17th, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Looking at the comments on the original article made my head hurt.

Steph said on May 17th, 2011 at 8:09 pm

I miss the days when Ben Stein was just That Guy from Ferris Bueller. Remember that guy? He was fun, wasn’t he?

John Seavey said on May 17th, 2011 at 8:24 pm

Um…Steph, you were aware that before he was That Guy From Ferris Bueller, he was one of Nixon’s speechwriters, right? The one who was writing the “Hell no, I won’t resign” speech?

Just checking. 🙂

a different Steph said on May 17th, 2011 at 9:05 pm

To nitpick, I don’t think Stein is saying the guy is innocent because he’s rich. He’s saying that being in a $3000/night hotel room is irrelevant to his guilt or innocence, and the reason to bother to say that is because media reports have tended to emphasize the 3K factoid as if it were relevant. It IS wasteful, and shameful, but I doubt it’s different from what heads of other entities worth 6 trillion dollars spend on a hotel room…not sure it constitutes personal corruption as is being implied. I mean, hey, rape isn’t bad enough?

Garfield said on May 17th, 2011 at 9:19 pm

And of course, there’s shorter Bernard-Henri Levy on DSK:
http://www.samefacts.com/2011/05/crime-control/dsk-and-bhl/

A said on May 17th, 2011 at 10:07 pm

I’ve got someone who thinks this is all a set up by the right wing to discredit and destroy a socialist candidate for an upcoming election.

PaulW said on May 17th, 2011 at 10:30 pm

1) there are HOW many reports of sexual assaults to this guy’s name? I counted three: two attempted rapes and one where a staffer was coerced into an affair (that makes it RAPE in most countries).
2) it’s not the profession that rapes, it’s the individual. Librarians as a rule don’t rape either, but guess what, there’s been a few jackasses in my profession who did rape.
3) it’s not a question of having a weapon: rape occurs with the intent and even with the threat of bodily harm.
4) Ben Stein better not stay at many hotels from now on.
5) if it were a question of hating rich people to accuse them of rape, why the hell aren’t the Koch Brothers, Bill Gates, and most of Wall Street under arrest for allegations of rape as well? If this were a true War On The Rich, we wouldn’t be fabricating rape charges: we’d be going after you with the tar and feathers.

Mitchell Hundred said on May 18th, 2011 at 12:50 am

And even if there were no other reports of him sexually assaulting women, it’s not like famous people are unskilled at keeping dirty secrets hidden. Schwarzenegger kept his bastard secret for, what, ten years?

William George said on May 18th, 2011 at 12:50 am

For a supposed smart man, he is one dumb motherfucker.

The Unstoppable Gravy Express said on May 18th, 2011 at 8:48 am

Has the Law & Order: SVU version happened yet?

Salmo said on May 18th, 2011 at 11:09 am

If it does, they should cast Steven Wright in the role of “dull-voiced character actor defending the rapist”.

dirge93 said on May 18th, 2011 at 1:25 pm

I gotta’ admit, I agree with Stein on one thing: the amount of people calling Kahn a rapist and convicting him without a trial is pretty freaking pathetic.

(that said, I can see why Kahn would be considered a flight risk, since France probably wouldn’t return him. They protected Polanski for all these years, and he plead -guilty- to the rape he was accused of.)

KenB3 said on May 18th, 2011 at 2:12 pm

I think MGK is right, up until the end of Stein’s argument, that you’re innocent until proven guilty.

zurn said on May 18th, 2011 at 2:56 pm

As one of the commenters there noted: innocent in the eyes of the law, not public opinion. Or even reality. People do get away with murder. They may be “innocent” in one narrow legal sense, but not the broader sense. It’s a good legal practice, but there’s no reason to be disingenuous about the evidence collected so far not pointing in a certain direction (there’s blood at the scene, for one). If he really is innocent, given that he’s rich and powerful, I think the odds are justice would be served. Sadly, the opposite is slightly more likely if he’s really guilty, because of the same reason.

Man, I thought conservatives were tough on crime. And loved police forces and didn’t question their judgement.

CB said on May 18th, 2011 at 3:29 pm

@Zurn

Only when those police forces are locking up potheads and minorities.

sgt pepper said on May 18th, 2011 at 8:33 pm

I refuse to believe that rich people use their resources and influence to bribe and cover up their way out of rape charges.

QuenyaGirl said on May 19th, 2011 at 4:11 am

@sgt pepper: you _are_ being sarcastic, I hope? It’s so difficult to tell without the tone of voice…

Saidi said on May 19th, 2011 at 7:04 am

he already did this kind of shit in 2006 if i’m not mistaken & apparently charges were dropped…

Lia said on May 19th, 2011 at 7:54 am

Stein’s piece and many of the comments are so stupid that I don’t even know where to begin. All that screaming about leftists and Jews.