My guess:
Rick Santorum 22
Ron Paul 20
Mitt Romney 16
Newt Gingrich 13
Rick Perry 10
Michele Bachmann 5
Anti-Liberal, The Superhero Who Hates Liberals 3
Herman Cain 2
Sarah Palin 1.75
Spuds Mackenzie 1.5
Zombie Reagan 1.25
Gary Johnson 1
Glenn Beck 1
Victoria Jackson .5
Chuck Norris .5
Orly Taitz .5
Frank Miller .5
Buddy Roemer .5
Jon Huntsman 0.25
Your guesses/predictions in comments.
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15 users responded in this post
I think every Republican would love to see Zombie Reagan and Anti-Liberal team up to battle Occupy Man and Comrade Barack.
As for predictions…
1.Ron Paul
2.Mitt Romney
(the only two “real” candidates in Iowa)
3.Rick Santorum
4.Newt Gingrich
5.Crazy Michelle Bachmann
With Paul and Romney virtually splitting the majority of the delegates.
As noted elsewhere, Zombie Reagan won’t play well with the Republican electorate. He comes across as too much of a liberal intellectual, with his focus on BRAAAAAAINS.
I’m really hoping Ron Paul scoops the pool everywhere and wins the nomination, because it’ll result in a landslide for Obama in November. That guy is so much of a raving crackpot that even Libertarians love him…
Ron Paul is a wheel of skeletons; a wheel of skeletons against Big Government unlike all the other candidates who are a wheel of skeletons for big government.
Ron Paul knows if you’ve been naughty or libertarian.
It’s too late.
Ron Paul is the ultimate bloodcandidate, born from the reincarnated souls of all of earth’s shaman-wizard-Nascar-americans; only he opposes Big Government in a Big Way.
It hasn’t begun yet.
Ron Paul has never seen those babies before, but he support their right to own guns and tractors and your soul.
Ron Paul has never been to the toilet.
We’re trapped in the belly of this machine and the machine is bleeding to death.
Ron Paul opposes the bleeding of taxpayers, especially baby tax payers.
Ron Paul needs your vote.
Bleed for Ron Paul.
Ron Paul doesn’t believe in Big Government Santa.
Why didn’t you listen.
Bleed for Him.
You could have prevented all of this.
Bleed for Him.
Ron Paul is the One True King and he needs your vote.
Bleed for Him.
Ron Paul wants to keep the change and let Obama keep the hope. Ron Paul does not like hope; it burnses him.
Bleed for Him.
Only Ron Paul opposes the war of 1812, as the founding fathers intended.
Bleed.
Ron Paul is from the futures’ pasts, and knows more than and greater than and the all consuming Yellow.
While Ron Paul opposes attempts by the federal government to prevent slave americans from marrying, he doesn’t not support the right of the confederate states of american to outlaw slave marriages. Except in the 90s when that was fashionable and Oklahoma City made him laugh that one time.
Bleed.
Ron Paul knows, better than you do, that there is no separation of church from state.
Bleed.
Ron Paul knows, better than you do, that there is no separation of reality from unreality.
Ron Paul knows, better than you do, that there is nothing but The Yellow.
Ron Paul is the King.
He wants your Yellow.
Bleed Yellow.
Bleed.
Early results have Mr. Frothy tied with the Creepy Android, with the would-be Grand Nagus of Ferenginar as a close third.
Zombie Reagan is running? Is he still demanding a return to slow moving zombies in all movies?
RnPl2012: That is awesome. Ron Paul IS the King in Yellow!
It’s sad how long it took me to realize that wasn’t a serious Paulpost.
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RnPl2012: That is the scariest political tract I have read in 30 years. Dear God, it is pitch perfect. I fear you.
Mitt Romney will undoubtedly carry the out-of-touch rich white guy vote.
Newt Gingrich is a shoe-in for the coveted scumbag demographic.
The bat-shit crazy vote is way too scattered to attempt to call.
Surely Ron Swanson should get a few votes. He’s the most charismatic right-winger I can think of.
I thought Phil Kessel would have scored higher here. 😐 Darn southern state with their love of wrestling, anyway.
@RnPl2012: You’re awesome.
@Patrick C.: Agreed. That said, the Evangelical branch of the GOP wouldn’t go for him. “What religion am I? Well, I’m a practicing none of your [bleep] business.” For all we know, he could be the wrong kind of Protestant Christian!!1!