May

Everyarch is Improvable

Posted by MGK Published in Archie (Improved Or Otherwise), Comics, Interactive Fun Time Party

Universal Pictures this week premieres a movie based on the board game 'Battleship.' It stars Rihanna.

The Improved Archie’s Fear (May 13th, 2014)
Improved Archie: The Ragin’ Climax (April 8th, 2014)
Archie Comics: The Improved Story (March 11th, 2014)
Who’s Afraid of Improved Archie? (January 30th, 2014)
Fifty Improvements of Archie (December 3rd, 2013)

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Mitchell Hundred said on May 15th, 2012 at 9:27 am

The Japanese just attacked Pearl Harbour.

The Unstoppable Gravy Express said on May 15th, 2012 at 9:35 am

“Look around you. No-one has aged, nothing has changed in 50 years. We are in Hell.”

Silfir said on May 15th, 2012 at 10:24 am

Mind-controlling bees, activate!

-evan. said on May 15th, 2012 at 10:33 am

Snape kills Dumbledore.

Chris Lowrance said on May 15th, 2012 at 10:49 am

Today, children, we’re going to watch The Butterfly Effect.

Andrew said on May 15th, 2012 at 10:50 am

Those aren’t even words!

The Crazed Spruce said on May 15th, 2012 at 10:57 am

You will all die alone and unloved. Especially you, Andrews!

MarvinAndroid said on May 15th, 2012 at 11:38 am

“You, who dare to regard us as the moral inferiors of any mystic who claims supernatural visions-you, who scramble like vultures for plundered pennies, yet honor a fortune-teller above a fortune-maker-you, who scorn a businessman as ignoble, but esteem any posturing artist as exalted-the root of your standards is that mystic miasma which comes from primordial swamps, that cult of death, which pronounces a businessman immoral by reason of the fact that he keeps you alive. You, who claim that you long to rise above the crude concerns of the body, above the drudgery of serving mere physical needs-who is enslaved by physical needs: the Hindu who labors from sunrise to sunset at the shafts of a hand-plow for a bowl of rice, or the American who is driving a tractor? Who is the conqueror of physical reality: the man who sleeps on a bed of nails or the man who sleeps on an inner-spring mattress? Which is the monument to the triumph of the human spirit over matter: the germ-eaten hovels on the shorelines of the Ganges or the Atlantic skyline of New York?”

MarvinAndroid said on May 15th, 2012 at 11:39 am

That joke has never worked better than it does today.

slappy the happy robot said on May 15th, 2012 at 11:43 am

Enough chit-chat! You agreed to sacrifice Reggie! GET OUT THE STONES!

zurn said on May 15th, 2012 at 11:44 am

/thing the guy says in the music video for “Just”

Sigma7 said on May 15th, 2012 at 12:05 pm

(ROYAL JELLY to QUEEN repeat ROYAL JELLY to QUEEN)/ upon completion of nutritive distribution commence maintenance-repair of HIVE maintenance-repair of COMBS maintenance-repair of chamber of QUEEN/enable circulation of air through wing-beating/ repeat protocol “seek POLLEN.”

candidgamera said on May 15th, 2012 at 12:06 pm

“The next one of you that talks gives Mr. Weatherbee his sponge-bath!”

Joe X said on May 15th, 2012 at 12:24 pm

“Now Mr. Weatherbee and I will show you where babies come from!”

buzz said on May 15th, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Try not to think of an “I see anus” joke.

AH2 said on May 15th, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I’m not wearing any panties.

William Kendall said on May 15th, 2012 at 1:51 pm

“Archie, you’re Mr. Lodge’s long lost illegitimate son. Bet you wish you hadn’t been fucking Veronica senseless now, don’t you?”

William Kendall said on May 15th, 2012 at 1:52 pm

If you don’t stop buzzing like bees, I’m breaking out the Raid and taking down every last one of you motherfuckers.

Chris Lowrance said on May 15th, 2012 at 1:55 pm

(What makes this hilarious is, no matter what horrible thing she says or does next, Jughead stops giving a shit by panel 3)

Funkula said on May 15th, 2012 at 2:46 pm

hello.jpg

damanoid said on May 15th, 2012 at 2:58 pm

“You may think you’re being terribly clever mocking me with your ‘Peanuts teacher noises,’ but the truth is that I lost my virginity to Charles Schulz, and that memory you can never stain.”

Miller said on May 15th, 2012 at 3:11 pm

“I’ve returned from my trip to the future. The last episode of Lost airs on May 23, 2010. It turns out that …”

Hawk Or Handsaw said on May 15th, 2012 at 3:20 pm

I think her shooting a droning white noise that drowns out everything they’re saying and leaves them mindless zombies needs no improvement

Kid Kyoto said on May 15th, 2012 at 4:14 pm

“You live in a world without light or color.”

Gustopher said on May 15th, 2012 at 5:14 pm

The government is going to be forcibly integrating this school. You will have some black classmates. Also, Jughead is Jewish.

Noah Brand said on May 15th, 2012 at 7:55 pm

HIVE DEACTIVATE

Evan Waters said on May 15th, 2012 at 7:56 pm

I admit it! I slept with Buzz Bitman and that’s why I’m being fired! Now if you’ll open your textbooks to page 123…

Thok said on May 15th, 2012 at 8:20 pm

THERE IS NO HONEY HERE!!!

Brent Keane said on May 15th, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Error 37! None of you are playing Diablo 3 today!

Jim Smith said on May 15th, 2012 at 9:57 pm

“It is not advised that you google the animal origins of knotting.”

HrolfK said on May 15th, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Buzz buzz buzz buzz BUZZZZZZZZ buzz buzz!

(one for the insects out there)

bunnyofdoom said on May 15th, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Croatoan
(For all you comic book nerds)

Soulless Merchant of Fear said on May 15th, 2012 at 11:05 pm

MISS GRUNDY IS THE AVATAR OF ANTI-LIFE.

KILL FOR WEATHERBEE. DIE FOR WEATHERBEE.

WEATHERBEE IS.

Diego Ibarra said on May 15th, 2012 at 11:39 pm

“You idiots. Can’t you tell that two of you have just fucking disappeared?“

Snuggs said on May 16th, 2012 at 2:24 am

“I can’t take this anymore… class, Jughead is my illegitimate son! There, I said it!”

alltoocommon said on May 16th, 2012 at 7:17 am

This class has been chosen to participate in The Program, you are given 12 hours to prepare before collection.

Gentleman Mummy said on May 16th, 2012 at 7:28 am

“Do any of you ever suspect we’re living in a world of black and white absolutes?”

UnSub said on May 16th, 2012 at 10:54 am

“The Avengers was over-rated swill! Eric Bana was a much better Hulk!”

HidaO-Win said on May 16th, 2012 at 3:07 pm

“Why don’t you just put the world in a bottle Superman?”

Craig Oxbrow said on May 16th, 2012 at 8:00 pm

“Turn off your smartphones. Or whatever electrical devices you have that would be making that buzzing noise. That means you, Betty Cooper!”

Jason said on May 16th, 2012 at 11:53 pm

“Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the devil, and the government is still lying to you about 9/11.”

(special thanks to Aaron McGruder for the inspiration)

Heksefatter said on May 17th, 2012 at 6:31 am

“I am marrying the Punisher.”

micah said on May 17th, 2012 at 11:33 am

How doth the little busy bee
Improve each shining hour,
And gather honey all the day
From every opening flower!

Watchmaker said on May 18th, 2012 at 2:42 am

loneliness + alienation + fear + despair + self-worth ÷ mockery ÷ condemnation ÷ misunderstanding × guilt × shame × failure × judgment n=y where y=hope and n=folly, love=lies, life=death, self=Darkseid.

Gentleman Mummy said on May 19th, 2012 at 10:24 pm

“Well I got news for you wise guys. This isn’t a dress. It’s my skin.”

Salieri said on May 20th, 2012 at 8:02 pm

*Ba-Da-Boom!*

LOST

Packerchu said on June 23rd, 2012 at 11:00 pm

“Colony collapse disorder is no laughing matter.”

Everyarch is Improvable

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