Jul

Single-sentence review of White House Down

Posted by MGK Published in Flicks

Channing Tatum deserves better than a movie that is so bad it deserves to be ranked next to Showgirls in the list of movies that their creators will eventually pretend were meant to be parodies.

If you can Schumacher it there you can Schumacher it anywhere (June 26th, 2020)
Old Man Yells At Cloud (Marvel edition) (October 8th, 2019)
MGK Ranks Every Live-Action Marvel Movie Since 1998 (2018 Remix Edition) (April 23rd, 2018)
MGK’s Top Ten Movies of 2017 (January 3rd, 2018)
You fucking nerds (December 22nd, 2017)

21 users responded in this post

Subscribe to this post comment rss or trackback url

highlyverbal said on July 3rd, 2013 at 4:33 am

Now that is a pretty good burn.

Farwell3d said on July 3rd, 2013 at 4:36 am

Except that Showgirls is blatantly obviously a parody…

Murc said on July 3rd, 2013 at 5:37 am

For some reason, I’d thought this was a Jeremy Renner vehicle. Huh.

PaulW said on July 3rd, 2013 at 7:41 am

Hey! This movie wasn’t that bad! They even figured out how to have a car chase in the middle of a hostage situation.

Jim Caldwell said on July 3rd, 2013 at 7:45 am

Why does Channing Tatum deserve better?

MonkeyWithTypewriter said on July 3rd, 2013 at 8:18 am

Because Charming Potato isn’t that bad an actor. But I guess SOMEONE had to do this film.

Ilan said on July 3rd, 2013 at 10:26 am

With all the allusions to “Bert Macklin saves Obama” I thought this whole thing was supposed to be a loving send-up of the genre, like Hot Fuzz, but I guess not.

Funkula said on July 3rd, 2013 at 11:14 am

The previews made this look pretty parodical to me. Maybe I just don’t have very high standards for a John McClane/Barack Obama buddy comedy, which is what this seems to me to be.

Blueblaze88 said on July 3rd, 2013 at 1:18 pm

I’m with Jim – Channing Tatum is The current Shia LaBeouf… a not-especially charming, not praticularly talented actor whose only redeeming quality seems to be that Hollywood keeps insisting he’s The Next Big Thing. I don’t have anything against him, but I’ve seen better actors in small town community theaters, and he certainly doesn’t “deserve” anything.

Edit – his other redeeming quality is his stage name. Which is deliciously hilarious.

Will said on July 3rd, 2013 at 2:50 pm

Offscreen, The Beef tends to come across as a pretentious weirdo. C-Tates tends to come across as a decent, likeable guy who is well aware of his limitations as an actor and has a sense of humour.

Also, he has a Secret Handshake with the kid who played his daughter in White House Down, and after watching that (the handshake, that is, not the film) I find it hard to hold any of his past roles against him.

MGK said on July 3rd, 2013 at 3:02 pm

I’m with Jim – Channing Tatum is The current Shia LaBeouf… a not-especially charming, not praticularly talented actor whose only redeeming quality seems to be that Hollywood keeps insisting he’s The Next Big Thing.

This was a fair sentiment prior to Charming Potato’s turns in 21 Jump Street, Side Effects and Magic Mike, as he was just plain good in all of those movies. And he’s good in White House Down too, channeling early-period John McClane better than Bruce Willis does nowadays.

William Kendall said on July 3rd, 2013 at 6:58 pm

I’m with Jim Caldwell. Tatum just stares at you with that dull look, and you know the only thing in that empty skull of his are squirrels running around in all that free space.

Jack-Pumpkinhead said on July 3rd, 2013 at 10:55 pm

Well, Tatum is the ancestor of CALCULON, greatest Robot Actor of the 31st Century!

Ian Austin said on July 5th, 2013 at 1:47 am

Tatum is a much better actor than Shia, because Tatum has no illusions about who he is or what he does.

Zifnab said on July 5th, 2013 at 10:51 am

Shia LeBouf kinda strikes me as what Will Weaton would be if someone had cast Will Weaton as the star of both Transformers and Indiana Jones and it all went to his head.

Meanwhile, Channing Tatum will always have a special place in my girlfriends *ahem* heart after his performance in Magic Mike.

This is how I keep the two separate in my mind.

VersasoVantare said on July 5th, 2013 at 12:28 pm

Dang, I thought Channing Tatum was a character from the Simpsons.

Burke said on July 5th, 2013 at 9:22 pm

You might be thinking of Drederick Tatum? (I probably didn’t spell that right. Is there a Simpsons wiki where I can check? Who am I kidding, of course there is.)

This guy. Oh, hey, I think I did spell it right!

Sage said on July 6th, 2013 at 7:44 pm

I’m surprised on all the Tatum hate on this site (not really, many years on the internet have made me accustomed to it, I just don’t understand it because I’ve seen a number of great performances from him, even pre- jump street…same with shia lebouf, sometimes in the same movie).

All that said, what didn’t work about this movie for you?

RobotKeaton said on July 7th, 2013 at 7:16 pm

Haven’t seen the movie or even a trailer, but White House Down is a great name for a parody. Or a punk band.

Quietus said on July 7th, 2013 at 9:56 pm

A.V. Club gave this a good review compared to Olympus Has Fallen, supposedly because the latter took itself too seriously and this one is more like dumb fun. Thoughts?

PaulW said on September 3rd, 2013 at 10:37 am

Tatum hatum.

Had to be said.

Single-sentence review of White House Down

Related Articles

21 users responded in this post

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Search

Contact

MGKontributors

The Big Board

MGKlassics

Blogroll

Donate

Archives

Meta

Tweet Machine

Recent Posts

Recent Comments