People sometimes try to convince me that Mark Steyn’s drivel is worth taking seriously. As counter, I suggest people read his latest screed for Maclean’s wherein he bravely tackles the demon that is empathy:

Then-senator Obama voted against the confirmation of Chief Justice Roberts because the nominee said he saw the judge’s role as that of “umpire.” The President wants someone less hung up on the rule book. He likes to cite the case of Lilly Ledbetter, who sued Goodyear Tire for discrimination but ran up against the pesky old statute of limitations. An “empathetic” judge would presumably say, “Screw the statute of limitations.”

Now, Steyn is actually pretty smart despite his lack of ethics, so presumably he knows that the issue in Ledbetter v. Goodyear wasn’t whether or not to get rid of “the pesky old statute of limitations” but how the statute of limitations was applied, because the question was whether the statute of limitations should start running from the point that the pay discrimination that Ledbetter suffered began, or whether it should start running from the point where she became aware of it. The conservative wing of the Supreme Court decided against all common sense that it should be the former, and that the clock on Ledbetter’s ability to sue in fact began years before she even knew that she was being discriminated against.

Again, Steyn probably knows this. But I doubt he cares; it’s just one more bullet in his gun filled with the usual cheap potshots about how Palestinians are actually savage animals (which he knows because he was in the West Bank for a week this one time and he totally saw tons of convenience stores with “Martyr of the Week” posters, and just because Steyn was just busy completely mischaracterizing a well-known and entirely public legal decision two paragraphs previously, why would we ever suspect him of being a fabulist in this regard?) and then accusing Barack Obama of sympathizing with terrorists in his Cairo speech (you know, the one where he bluntly told the Arab world that violent extremism wasn’t just unacceptable, but also that Holocaust denialism was ridiculous, and that Palestinians needed to come to grips with the fact that the Israelis aren’t going anywhere, and that Muslim countries need to better ensure women’s rights).

He’s a cheap hack. He always has been, he always will be. Don’t ever forget it.

Top comment: Y’know, I notice that people keep angrily bringing up the fact that you called Steyn a cheap hack, but no-one seems to care that you called him a malicious asshole, too. — Skemono

Simon Owens over at Bloggasm has his own response to the Blevins outing I talked about yesterday, and it’s worth reading, but I specifically wanted to address one point:

I pointed out that Whelan might have been angry because when he writes under his own name he is constantly risking his reputation, and this sometimes makes writers bitter toward their pseudonymous detractors, who are not always held accountable for their words.

Whelan writes under his own name and risks his reputation because he is paid to do that. Blevins wrote his commentary on a strictly volunteer basis. Are journalists supposed to feel bitter towards letters-to-the-editor writers now?

My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist.

The recent outing of John “publius” Blevins by Ed “classless piece of shit” Whelan, while a gross invasion of privacy and obvious proof that Whelan is a limp-dicked coward, prompted me to think about the eventual downfall of psuedonymity in blogging. Because really: it’s only a matter of time.

Psuedonymity is great. Blevins explains most of the cogent reasons why he blogged anonymously (not wanting to frighten students, not wanting to have to deal with family issues, not wanting to danger his tenure) and they’re all entirely reasonable. And of course many of the net’s most notable bloggers blog either semi- or completely psuedonomously: Hilzoy at ObWi (and now the Washington Monthly’s blog as well) is the most immediate and obvious example, but consider also Digby or TBogg or Fafnir.

The problem with pseudonymity is this: it exists only by common compact. This means that, like any other protection provided by commonality, it’s only as good as everybody is willing to let it be. With an essentially infinite audience you will, sooner or later, find somebody who is both willing to fuck your anonymity over and is able to do so. And it’s basic human nature that we tend to distrust anonymity at a root level, so when you do get “exposed” as the author of your own opinions new observers will inevitably be inclined to trust you slightly less. (It’s silly, but it’s almost always the case.)

Now, of course, the rejoinder is “but nobody cares about my dithering on the blogotubes,” and this is mostly correct also. But that’s only true so long as you don’t write anything of consequence. If you strive to be the internet equivalent of a Man of Parts – and, false modesty aside, most widely-read bloggers are not just dicking around on a computer once they get up to the several-thousand-pageviews-per-day mark – it will, sooner or later, happen. If you protect your secrecy like Batman, then it will take a while. If you are like Blevins and don’t make it too hard to figure out, it won’t. And regardless of when it finally happens – when it happens, it will be a pain in your ass.

This is why I blog without a psuedonym. Yes, I know most people think of me as “MGK,” and that’s fine because nicknames are fun. But if you Google “Christopher Bird,” links that eventually come back to me show up on hits numbers two through four. (Including, as the second hit, an article I wrote for Torontoist wherein I insulted Conrad Black repeatedly and viscerally.) If you Google “Christopher Bird toronto,” the first six links are all me. I am not a hard person to find, internet-wise, and that is when I share a name with a somewhat famous deceased botanist/science writer and a recently-in-the-news ornithologist.

This wasn’t a choice I made lightly. Back when I started blogging back in 2001, I weighed the pros and cons of psuedonymity versus being open. I went with “open,” mostly on the basis that occasionally I piss off people with things I write, and when people get pissed off with somebody semi-anonymous the first thing they go for is your privacy. (The second thing they go after, as the first comment to this post illustrates, is your character.) I wanted to avoid that.

I know it’s cost me as much as it’s helped. I’m doing my applications for my post-school legal article right now, and conservatively I figure about a quarter of my potential jobs will disappear the moment they read this blog. I know for a fact that it cost me at least one firm job back when we were applying for firm jobs this summer. And that sucks, sure. But if I am being honest, the essential “no, fuck you” part of my character demands that I be open about what I do.

I’m not saying psuedonyms are wrong or stupid. I’m not even saying don’t use them. I’m just saying that I think what happened to John Blevins/publius is the inevitable end result of being really good at blogging, and if you strive to do this thing well – be prepared, or get proactive. Either/or.

Some weird and awesome bookcases.

My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist.

…Andrew Wheeler wrote this particularly vicious bit of satire.

1.) My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist.

2.) My article this week for The Court is about R. v. Middleton, a sentencing case. Be forewarned the topic matter is so dry I nearly fell asleep twice while writing it.

3.) Finally, I made a rare PODCASTING APPEARANCE on Hour 42 yesterday, wherein I articulated poorly about the potential of Gooch the Dark Wonder Dog, among other things.

– This collection of business cards of 1980s Chicago street gangs is pretty cool:

– “Upcycling” wooden pallets into furniture (and even a house).

– “He-men flee instead of pee” is probably the best headline of the week.

– And this article about the legal ramifications of porn parodies is certainly interesting (and mostly SFW).

Top comment: SPOILER ALERT: “Sexbusters” is not what I was really hoping it would be. — Jim Smith

Up at Torontoist, I engage in a debate about road investment versus transit investment. The winner? Anybody who cares about such issues! And also me.

My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist. Also, I have a column regarding the SCC’s lengthy delay in deciding R. v. Suberu here. Guess which one has F-bombs in it!

What with both the premiere of the fifth American season, and the fact that the Toronto auditions are this week, which gave me the opportunity to interview Jean-Marc Généreux.

My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist. But ALSO, I have a point/counterpoint column about the Tamil protests here. And on top of that, my first summer column for thecourt.ca is here, although it’s really just a longer, more serious-sounding rehash of the diversity arguments from last week.

So yesterday there was a very big protest here in Toronto, as Tamil protestors trying to get Canada to intervene in the Sri Lankan Civil War closed down the Gardiner Expressway for about five hours. The protests were certainly illegal in that they obstructed traffic without a permit, but were almost wholly nonviolent. (The police later announced that they arrested three people out of over three thousand.)

The following comments are taken from the CP24, Globe and Mail and National Post coverage.

IF YOU WERE REAL MANLY MEN YOU WOULD HAVE STAYED BEHIND AND GOTTEN SHOT BUT YOU DIDN’T DO THAT SO FUCK YOU

WHY CAN’T YOU BE LIKE THOSE OTHER BROWN PEOPLE?

MY HAVING TO TAKE LOCAL ROADS IS JUST LIKE WHEN YOU GOT YOUR VILLAGE BOMBED

IT’S ALSO LISTED IN MY HOMEBREW ANNOTATIONS TO THE FOURTH EDITION “IMMIGRANT’S RULEBOOK”

CATS AND DOGS SLEEPING TOGETHER

ALSO BANNED: THE SWASTIKA, THE FASCES, AND THE… THINGY THAT AL-QAEDA USES ON THEIR FLAG, WHATEVER THEY USE

THEY HAD LOTS OF GEARS AND A PLACE TO PUT A WATER BOTTLE SO YOU KNOW THEY MUST HAVE BEEN EXPENSIVE BIKES

THE CANADIAN WAY TO ACCOMPLISH THINGS IS TO WHINE REPEATEDLY UNTIL YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT – ER, BUT NOT HOW YOU’RE DOING IT

AND THEN THE OPPRESSED MASSES OF BMW DRIVERS WILL HAVE THEIR REVENGE

NOTHING SAYS “FREE SOCIETY” LIKE RANDOM SPOT CHECKS!

I GOT A SUR-GRIP ™ ON IT AND EVERYTHING

THOSE DARN PROTESTERS ALWAYS DRIVING DOWN PROPERTY VALUES

WHY AREN’T THEY PROTESTING ABOUT HOW THE NEW STAR TREK MOVIE DESTROYS THE VISION OF WHAT TREK IS SUPPOSED TO BE? I COULD GET BEHIND THAT

BROWN PEOPLE ARE LAZY!

SO, SO LAZY!1

AND BY “ENFORCEMENT” I MEAN “POLICE BRUTALITY”

SEE, IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE SOME BROWN PEOPLE ARE ALSO ARABS AND ARABS HAVE TOTALLY CRAZY NAMES LIKE KLINGONS OR SOME SHIT2

IF YOU WERE REAL MANLY MEN YOU WOULD HAVE STAYED BEHIND AND GOTTEN SHOT OR MAYBE YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN SHOT IN AFGHANISTAN BUT YOU DIDN’T DO ANY OF THAT SO FUCK YOU

NO I MEAN IT

THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR LETTING PEOPLE HAVE THE RIGHT TO PEACEABLY ASSEMBLE, DIPSHITS

SHE DEFINITELY SAW ONE OF THEM WAVING A SIGN AND IT HAD SHARP EDGES AND MAYBE SHE COULD HAVE GOTTEN A REALLY NASTY PAPERCUT

AND MY POINT IS THAT… UH… WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO PEACEFULLY PROTEST, I GUESS

IF YOU WERE REAL MANLY MEN YOU WOULD HAVE STAYED BEHIND AND GOTTEN SHOT BUT YOU DIDN’T DO THAT SO FUCK YOU AND ALSO FUCK THE PEOPLE WHO LET YOU INTO MY COUNTRY

NO REALLY I’M TOTALLY NOT SOME WHITE GUY SPOUTING OFF ON THE INTERNET

YOU EXPRESSING YOUR OPINIONS AND BELIEFS MAKES RACISTS MAD AND THAT IS ONYOU, BUDDY

BECAUSE WHEN I THINK “LENGTHY CONFLICT BETWEEN TWO RIVAL FACTIONS ON A SMALL ISLAND OVER THE RIGHT OF GOVERNANCE,” I CERTAINLY DON’T THINK OF THE IRISH

UH, WELL, TECHNICALLY AMERICA IS THE MELTING POT AND CANADA IS THE MOSAIC OF CULTURES, BUT I NEVER READ MY THIRD GRADE SOCIAL STUDIES TEXTBOOK SO NEVER MIND

CANADA IS POWERLESS TO INTERVENE IN INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS… “PEACEKEEPING?” WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

WE TOTALLY KICKED SOME HEY-HOW-ARE-YA HEY-HOW-ARE-YA ASS! GOOOOOO WHITE PEOPLE!

I, TOO, AM UPSET THAT WE ARE NOT DISCUSSING STAR TREK

RACE IS IRRELEVANT SO STOP PRETENDING TO BE WHITE SO I CAN LOUDLY NOT CARE ABOUT WHAT COLOUR YOU ARE

THERE IS TOO MUCH TOERANCE

JUST LIKE THE IRISH!

IF CITIZENS TRY TO INFLUENCE HOW CANADA CONDUCTS ITS RELATIONS, IT MIGHT GET A SOCIAL DISEASE

ALSO THE SHEEPLE REFUSE TO RECOGNIZE HOW IMPORTANT IT IS THAT WE GET BACK ON THE GOLD STANDARD

ALL THESE BROWN PEOPLE MAKE ME NERVOUS

THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN USING CHILDREN TO PROTECT ONESELF FROM BOMBING RUNS, AND BRINGING CHILDREN ALONG TO A RALLY, BECAUSE IN BOTH CASES YOU CAN EXPECT TO HAVE THE AUTHORITIES VICIOUSLY ATTACK YOU. FARTLEBERRY HAS SPOKEN!3

“THEY’RE LIKE CHILDREN! LIKE LITTLE MONKEY CHILDREN!”

I WAS ONLY INTO THIS SCENE BEFORE IT GOT POPULAR ANYWAY; NOW IT’S, LIKE, METALLICA’S “BLACK ALBUM” OR SOMETHING

TAMILS CONTROL THE MEDIA! THE JEWS SOLD THEM THE MEDIA AND NOW THE TAMILS HAVE IT!

(UM, DUDE, MAKING FUN OF YOU PEOPLE USING ALL CAPS IS MY SHTICK, QUIT PRE-EMPTING ME)

YES, WHAT WE NEED TO DO IS FOLLOW THE SANE, SOBER EUROPEAN IMMIGRATION POLICIES THAT HAVE CAUSED SO LITTLE ETHNIC STRIFE AND ABSOLUTELY NO RIOTING OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT

I JUST WANT TO SEE THEM USE THE WATER CANNONS

I JUST WANT TO SEE THEM USE THE WATER CANNONS WHILE ON HORSEBACK

YOUR OCCUPYING A HIGHWAY ON LATE SUNDAY EVENING AND ACCUMULATING A NUMBER OF MISDEMEANOUR CHARGES OUTRAGES ME BEYOND ALL EXTENT FOR REASON

AND FINALLY…

Top comment: No real Canadians were inconvenienced by these protests, because as everyone knows, REAL Canadians ride their horses everywhere, hitch them up outside their igloos, and go eat their poutine and Timbits in polite silence.

My hat (made of real Canadian beaver fur, from real Canadian beavers) is off to all those brave men and women in their cars on the Gardiner protesting the presence of the Tamil protestors.

I myself plan to immolate myself (or at least develop a very inconveniencing sunburn) in front of the Eaton Centre to protest this protest. — Slab Beefbroth

1. See, what’s ironic is that one of my former roommates is a professional chef. He’s whiter than I am, and he speaks Tamil, because he has to, because Tamils are as to Canada as Ecuadorians, Peruvians, Salvadorans and Cubans are to America – they’re the backbone of restaurant and kitchen staff in every city in the country, because they can cook anything and they don’t mind working the crazy hours. Tamils work ridiculously hard, and not just in the culinary industry where they dominate either. But of course they’re brown people so naturally somehow they must be scamming welfare. [↩]
2. Which – I mean, come on, if there are funnier names in the world than Tamil names, which even they admit are long and elaborate to the point of craziness… [↩]
3. I could have posted dozens more comments like this, and it particularly bothers me that there’s this expectation that brown people should expect to get clubbed down by police for peacefully protesting. [↩]

Did you follow the whole Michelle Malkin/Antonia Zerbisias drama over the last week? No? Then I have you covered over at Torontoist.