Welcome to the results of the 2019 Theszies / Rec.sport.pro-wrestling Awards.
(Editor’s note: Some of you may be wondering “what took so long?” The answer is: 1.) Immediately after the voting period ended, my wife and I went on a previously-scheduled vacation to Italy, which was great, and 2.) then when we got back we had to get screened for Covid-19, which took a while. Don’t worry, we’re fine.)
Anyway. Here, we present the “worst” Awards – those Awards which celebrate the awfullest things in wrestling during 2018. If this disturbs your chakras, you can go read the “best” Awards here.
This year we had 385 voters participating. As always, for next year we encourage all of you wrestling media people to nominate yourselves and your favorites, and try to get your fans out to vote for you. Fair is fair!
As always, thank yous to Justin Henry, Christopher Robin Zimmerman, Herb Kunze and all those who have previously run the Awards and contributed to their legacy; everybody who chipped in to promote the awards; all of you voters, of course; and finally and most importantly an extra-double-sized thanks to mgkdotcom’s Tech Guy, James Young, without whose invaluable assistance these Awards would almost certainly have failed to be anywhere near as successful and user-friendly as they in fact were.
And without further ado…
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| SHANE McMAHON | 90 | 35 | 39 | 633 |
| Baron Corbin | 41 | 18 | 15 | 289 |
| Lacey Evans | 27 | 33 | 18 | 270 |
| Goldberg | 24 | 29 | 10 | 227 |
| Brandi Rhodes | 27 | 18 | 17 | 223 |
TENKEN: Aliyah remains the bane of my existence. She’s never going to mature into a competent talent. And while we’re at it, stop trying to make Natalya happen, WWE. It would have already happened by now if it was going to.
TONYA HUDSON: The fact that Goldberg is eligible for wrestling awards in 2020 is a travesty. You were great once, Bill, but please, PLEASE, stop.
THE RINK: Hopefully 2019 is the final year where Shane McMahon believes he could be a wrestler because he’s willing to do two or three dangerous garbage spots per year.
PSYCHO GOLDFISH: Matt Taven almost put RoH in the grave and he’s still not the worst. We get it, Bill, you’re not “his bro, bro.” Now go back to the retirement home and stay there this time.
GIGGA B: Baron Corbin seemed like he could be a big deal for like two months when he was in the WWE Title mix at the end of 2016. Then WWE got their stank all over him and made sure to cool him off and make him a loser and an impotent authority figure, so by the time he was the only wrestler who was allowed to fight Seth Rollins for the Universal strap for three months he couldn’t feel colder. He has Sheamus disease. Everything about the guy works except… well, he’s Sheamus. How do you care about Sheamus?
LUVVERLY: Lacey Evans is not good at anything about wrestling in any meaningful sense unless you count being blonde as a talent. She’s a boring promo, a bad worker and has the dumbest finisher going.
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| SHANE McMAHON AND THE MIZ | 56 | 30 | 29 | 428 |
| Nia Jax and Tamina | 42 | 37 | 23 | 367 |
| Forgotten Sons: Jaxson Ryker and Steve Cutler and Wesley Blake | 33 | 30 | 34 | 323 |
| Horsewomen: Marina Shafir and Jessamyn Duke | 32 | 28 | 25 | 294 |
| Dolph Ziggler and Bobby Roode | 17 | 32 | 27 | 235 |
WOODSY: It’s not the “Horsewomen” if two of them suck. Shafir and Duke are dead in the water.
TONYA HUDSON: How is “we are just grateful to be employed” something that anyone can get behind? Oh yeah, we’re not supposed to. Poor Zack and poor Curt. When established tag teams lose handicap matches you know the office has no faith in you.
GIGGA B: I can’t believe Shane McMahon and The Miz as the World’s Greatest Tag Team (trademark symbol) was a thing that happened in 2019. Feels like years ago.
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| BARON CORBIN | 90 | 40 | 14 | 598 |
| Shane McMahon | 62 | 29 | 38 | 473 |
| Brandi Rhodes | 25 | 24 | 27 | 251 |
| Lana | 20 | 26 | 31 | 240 |
| Lacey Evans | 20 | 22 | 29 | 224 |
TONYA HUDSON: How am I supposed to boo Emi Sakura? She’s a Japanese veteran who incorporates Queen into her in-ring work. I’m obviously going to cheer for her. Stop trying to make her a heel.
TENKEN: Shout-out to Adam Cole for caring too much about being cool to ever get booed, but there actually are people out there who are much worse at their jobs than he is. Lacey Evans and Baron Corbin are both bad, but also intensely boring, which is why they don’t actually get boos.
PSYCHO GOLDFISH: I don’t understand how Shawn Spears can leave the biggest company in the world, make a big splash with his signing, then immediately find himself in the exact same spot in the card as he was elsewhere. Poor guy. Tully could do MUCH better.
CHRISTOPHER BIRD: The problem with Baron Corbin is not that he’s bad at his job. The problem is that he’s good at his job, which is being Vince McMahon’s ideal of what a pro wrestler should be in 2019: he can remember lines. The second problem is that the lines are never any good.
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| SETH ROLLINS | 80 | 40 | 25 | 570 |
| Lacey Evans | 55 | 50 | 25 | 475 |
| Britt Baker | 32 | 44 | 32 | 356 |
| Charlotte Flair | 26 | 31 | 30 | 283 |
| Jim Cornette | 41 | 6 | 19 | 261 |
WAR PENGUIN: I didn’t know Jim Cornette was a face announcer. Why the heck was your face announcer making racist jokes? That’s not even okay for heel announcers!
DMJ9798: Charlotte had this on lock, but then Lacey Evans swooped in at the last minute, changed literally none of her characters’ mannerisms and just yelled I AM A MARINE AND HAVE A KID CHEER ME to take first place away from her.
KEVIN LEE: Seth Rollins is 1996 Shawn Michaels but with worse matches and instead of drugs, he’s addicted to Twitter.
TONYA HUDSON: It was a close-run thing for me between her and Seth Rollins but I have to give this to Lacey Evans. Only in Vince McMahon’s increasingly deluded, Republican billionaire brain is this character sympathetic. Perhaps it’s the visual of putting her immediately against two of the most interesting women of colour on the roster and talking about them like they’re beneath her that’s rubbed me the wrong way but… yikes.
JAMES HIRSBY: So Elias’ last face turn didn’t work, and they turned him back to his natural heel state. Lesson learned, right? Surely WWE wouldn’t do something as dumb as, I don’t know, bring Elias back from injury as a face… oh no.
PSYCHO GOLDFISH: Did you know that Britt Baker is a dentist?
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| SHANE McMAHON | 82 | 46 | 29 | 606 |
| Goldberg | 34 | 20 | 29 | 288 |
| Lacey Evans | 34 | 26 | 19 | 286 |
| Lana | 19 | 27 | 25 | 226 |
| Cain Velasquez | 22 | 24 | 20 | 222 |
PSYCHO GOLDFISH: Can we just take all the old men in WWE and throw them in the trash, please? I don’t care how much money the Saudis are paying you.
WOODSY: At least Lesnar-Velasquez was short. Goldberg was so bad that they had to audible after 10 minutes.
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| BARON CORBIN | 69 | 31 | 27 | 492 |
| Shane McMahon | 45 | 44 | 26 | 409 |
| Hulk Hogan | 34 | 27 | 18 | 287 |
| NZo | 28 | 29 | 15 | 257 |
| Brock Lesnar | 20 | 12 | 17 | 170 |
MIKE DELLACAMERA: You can actually see Luchasaurus thinking about what he’s supposed to do next, and he moves with the suddenness of a sleepy koala.
B. SEISON: No one on WWE’s bloated roster makes me hit the mute button or change the channel faster than Shane McMahon, followed closely by anyone else named McMahon.
TENKEN: I understand that people like the Young Bucks, but I do not understand why people like the Young Bucks.
MICHAEL BLUMBERG: Michael Elgin, because he has the personality of a beige plywood wall and he’s just the worst person alive.
CHRISTOPHER BIRD: I don’t think Baron Corbin is a bad worker. I don’t think he’s a bad promo. But simply by association with all the shitty storylines he’s been involved in – and, to a lesser extent, his willingness to be a jackhole on Twitter – I just never want to watch him do anything.
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| BARON CORBIN | 47 | 27 | 25 | 366 |
| Shane McMahon | 45 | 30 | 18 | 351 |
| Lacey Evans | 25 | 40 | 28 | 301 |
| Brock Lesnar | 29 | 10 | 15 | 205 |
| Britt Baker | 14 | 19 | 22 | 171 |
WAR PENGUIN: Matt Taven was actively killing his company just by being the world champion. ROH ticket sales were at an all-time low. The only drop caused by Seth Rollins wasn’t exclusively his fault, the whole product was trash. Seth doesn’t deserve this award, Matt “ROH Killer” Taven does. The WWE product is about the same level of garbage if you take the title off Seth Rollins and put in on anyone else, whereas Matt Taven was nothing but a determinant to the entire product from getting the belt, and literally anyone else on the roster would have made the ROH product much better.
DMJ9798: All I ever hear about Lacey Evans is how much she’s improving, and I watch every week like “citation needed.”
JOHN A. SAWYER JR.: Seriously, what blackmail material could Baron Corbin possibly have on Vince to justify keeping him that high on the card?
B. SEISON: I know everyone on the internet seems to love Bray Wyatt’s rebirth as “The Fiend” but he just makes me turn “The Channel”.
TENKEN: Adam Page is a better worker than Baron Corbin, but they both occupy the same position, where it’s not so much that either of them are bad, but that both of them are being asked to do more for their promotions than they’re really capable of. A more realistic promoter would push somebody else instead, and both companies have better options.
RAGNAROK: I feel like I’ll be forced to turn in my IWC membership for voting Kenny Omega at #1, but seriously… Has anyone had such a steep decline in match quality since changing promotions? Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a top tier wrestler, but I’m starting to think he’s less “greatest wrestler in the world” like everyone was saying, and more like he was carried to the highest levels by super workers like Okada and Tanahashi.
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| CHAD GABLE AS SHORTY G | 119 | 55 | 38 | 836 |
| Shane McMahon as the Best In The World | 56 | 35 | 34 | 453 |
| Lana drops her accent – and also Rusev because she's cheating | 38 | 30 | 28 | 336 |
| The Nightmare Collective | 26 | 21 | 31 | 255 |
| Lacey Evans as a sort of racist lady | 16 | 38 | 23 | 240 |
KAITLYN CONCILIO: I legitimately forgot that Best in the World Shane was last calendar year. Seems like it was ages ago. Gawdawmighty.
TOKYO MAGNUM: Lacey Evans is Liberty Belle except there’s no trace of irony. It kind of works as a heel act but died on the vine the first time they tried it as a babyface character and it’s hilarious they’re trying it again.
CRITICO MOLESTO: Jesus Christ almighty, what have they done to Chad Gable> Imagine being a former Olympian and one of the undisputed best workers in the world and getting clowned on for being 5’8. There is no such thing as a loving God.
COREIF: The promos for Eddie Dennis were really good, and then he debuted and… woof.
MIKE DELLACAMERA: It really takes something egregiously bad to be worse than Shorty G, but The Nightmare Collective transcends the word “terrible.”
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| LACEY EVANS' WOMAN'S RIGHT PUNCH | 45 | 39 | 31 | 404 |
| Shane McMahon's triangle chokehold | 41 | 47 | 27 | 400 |
| Cain Velasquez' punches | 40 | 25 | 26 | 327 |
| Charlotte Flair's moonsault | 33 | 27 | 18 | 282 |
| Chris Jericho's Judas Effect spinning back elbow | 29 | 14 | 9 | 205 |
MARK SIMUNDZA: The day Charlotte hits that moonsault clean we all better run out and buy bread, milk and toilet paper because Armageddon is upon us.
PSYCHO GOLDFISH: I’m a simple man. I see Shane McMahon in the “Worst Move” Category, I vote for him.
CRITICO MOLESTO: The Skull-Crushing Finale might be the least-protected finisher I’ve ever seen. You’re not a true main roster wrestler until you’ve kicked out of it at least five times!
LUVVERLY: It’s just a punch. She’s just hitting you once with her fist. At least the Big Show was seven feet tall and a GIANT when he punched people for a finisher. What’s Lacey Evans’ excuse? Is it because Former Troops have punches made of titanium?
JOSE CONTERAS: I was hesitant to pick Charlotte’s moonsault because if you land on your feet every time you do it, you’re definitely not doing a moonsault.
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 06/07: UNDERTAKER v. GOLDBERG | 94 | 53 | 20 | 669 |
| 10/06: Seth Rollins v. Bray Wyatt (WWE Universal title Hell In a Cell) | 85 | 43 | 23 | 600 |
| 10/04: Kofi Kingston v. Brock Lesnar (WWE title) | 40 | 29 | 19 | 325 |
| 10/31: Brock Lesnar v. Cain Velasquez (WWE title) | 13 | 23 | 19 | 172 |
| 10/31: Tyson Fury v. Braun Strowman | 10 | 19 | 25 | 157 |
RAGNAROK: Can I just put Undertaker vs Goldberg 3 times? That match was so bad, it gave ME multiple concussions just watching it!
JOHN A. SAWYER JR.: No championship match should be so short that it can fit in a single gif. The WWE did Kofi about as dirty as a wrestler can get done by a promoter.
TONYA HUDSON: How do you take the hottest new gimmick and ruin it in a single night? Easy. Stick him inside a Hell in a Cell match, bathe it in a horrendous red light, and then have that Cell match end in a disqualification which you later retcon as a referee stoppage. Bravo to everyone involved in that trainwreck. Didn’t think a year which had Goldberg vs Undertaker would see anything worse, so that’s an achievement of sorts.
JAMES HIRSBY: Shane McMahon dominates a lot of my “worst” categories, and the worst part of his continued push is WWE’s portrayal of Shane as an actual wrestler. It’d be one thing if he was cheating like crazy just to survive (like in 1999-2000) but now 20 years later, middle-aged Shane is somehow a match for anyone in the company. Poor Roman.
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| LANA AND BOBBY LASHLEY v. RUSEV | 79 | 34 | 17 | 531 |
| Baron Corbin v. Roman Reigns | 38 | 38 | 19 | 342 |
| Baron Corbin v. Chad Gable | 41 | 18 | 15 | 289 |
| Shane McMahon v. The Miz | 22 | 24 | 30 | 242 |
| Shane McMahon v. Roman Reigns | 19 | 26 | 17 | 207 |
RAGNAROK: The Lashley/Rusev feud may be multiple kinds of terrible, but did IT feature the BIG DAWG getting chained up and rubbed down with a can of BIG DAWG food? I rest my case (of dog food).
JODOROSIO: Remember when Reigns vs. Rowan included a Rowan lookalike as a shocking reveal? [Krusty the Clown “What the hell was that? goes here]
PETER MONK: Kofi Kingston was done the dirty by Brock Lesnar. It was the most egregious match that I have ever seen. It should have been an epic contest of guts and glory and it was a horrible, disrespectful squash that spoke volumes of the company’s attitude towards its fans and its stars. Considering that Brock has so much sway, what did Kofi do to annoy him so much that he felt the need to squash him so mercifully? Did Kofi offer Brock pancakes with golden syrup instead of Maple Syrup? Is that the reason for the hate?
CRITICO MOLESTO: When the dust settles, when the fires cease and civilization becomes mere ashes atop the wreckage that was once humanity, Rusev and Lashley will continue to wrestle a moderately adequate match with no finish. For God saw the fruits of his labor, and God wept. O, how he wept.
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| BROCK LESNAR SQUASHES KOFI KINGSTON FOR WWE TITLE ON PREMIERE OF SMACKDOWN ON FOX | 80 | 48 | 34 | 612 |
| WWE continues Saudi Arabia shows | 79 | 37 | 35 | 576 |
| WWE talent stranded in Saudi Arabia after Crown Jewel | 25 | 29 | 17 | 246 |
| Death of 'Mean' Gene Okerlund | 16 | 24 | 16 | 184 |
| ACH/Jordan Myles melts down on Twitter | 16 | 15 | 23 | 171 |
TENKEN: I chose the lack of an Evolution PPV or MYC on the basis that most other items up for voting were, at their base, unavoidable. Accidents and tragedies. But this was a willful business decision by the WWE, in spite of last years successes in women’s wrestling. That’s disappointing.
R.M. HARMON: The death of Ashley Massaro was by far the most upsetting news item of the year. It changed the way I view WWE for good.
LUVVERLY: Jordan Myles/ACH’s meltdown on Twitter started from a reasonable place (yeah, that tee-shirt was kind of racist!) but then it just kept going and going and going to the point where I was legitimately worried for his mental health, and I say this as someone who think WWE has had race problems for a long, long time.
PSYCHO GOLDFISH: WWE did a lot of bad things this year, but what RoH did to Kelly Klein needs to be noted.
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| COREY GRAVES | 80 | 44 | 29 | 590 |
| Jerry Lawler | 69 | 46 | 39 | 561 |
| Michael Cole | 45 | 51 | 34 | 446 |
| Jim Cornette | 43 | 37 | 21 | 368 |
| Jim Ross | 28 | 24 | 27 | 266 |
SHUNK: It took about eighteen months for Corey Graves to go from beloved smark darling to the absolute worst part of the main roster announce corps: an antagonistic, distracting asshole more concerned with slagging other announcers and spewing out Vince’s refried jokes than helping call the match. I partially blame Vince McMahon for this, of course, but I also blame Corey Graves.
D. SCOTT: Goddamn, if I could call a match and just talk about Stan Lane, Bobby Eaton, Dennis Condrey, and how I like my cheeseburgers, I wouldn’t even be in this category… motherfucking Jim Cornette.
DAVE MORGAN: Jim Ross, you’re a damn legend. Please retire.
TOKYO MAGNUM: Sometimes I have to watch clips of Raw for work and it’s astonishing how many of them feature Jerry Lawler saying nothing more than “oh no!” or “look at this!” He’s completely useless, and you’d think that the company with basically limitless resources could find a color commentator who can offer literally anything beyond sense memories of the ’90s for their flagship show.
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| LANA | 49 | 38 | 28 | 415 |
| Baron Corbin | 55 | 22 | 18 | 377 |
| Lacey Evans | 31 | 35 | 20 | 300 |
| Bobby Lashley | 32 | 27 | 25 | 291 |
| Shane McMahon | 21 | 21 | 27 | 222 |
TONYA HUDSON: Stop. Giving. Lana. A. Microphone.
T. DORNEY: Jake Hager has the best promos. Never has silence meant so much.
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| LANA AND BOBBY LASHLEY CHEAT ON RUSEV | 55 | 37 | 24 | 434 |
| Chad Gable renames himself 'Shorty G' | 31 | 30 | 40 | 325 |
| Seth Rollins and The Fiend end a Hell in the Cell match via DQ | 33 | 26 | 25 | 293 |
| Baron Corbin defeats Kurt Angle in Kurt's final match | 36 | 14 | 4 | 230 |
| Brock Lesnar enters Money In The Bank almost at the end of the match and wins | 28 | 21 | 13 | 229 |
WOODSY: I didn’t think anyone would be stupid enough to repeat the Justin Credible experiment. And yet RoH did with Matt Taven, who has devalued their world title to the point where QUEBECER PIERRE is the champion.
JOHN A. SAWYER JR.: How many cuckolding angles is too many cuckolding angles? If you answered more than zero, welcome to the RSPW awards, Mr. Heyman!
TENKEN: Lana/Lashley/Rusev and the Kanellis stuff are bad in execution, but with better planning could maybe have amounted to something worthwhile. “Chad Gable is short” is just a stupid idea for a storyline, plain and simple.
TONYA HUDSON: For someone who claimed to be such a fan of pro-wrestling, Rousey didn’t half make it seem like it was all beneath her. Why should we get invested in her story when we can’t suspend our disbelief with the constant “LOL fake!” coming from Ronda?
| NOMINEE | 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| WWE CROWN JEWEL | 190 | 54 | 16 | 1144 |
| WWE Super Showdown | 45 | 101 | 31 | 590 |
| WWE Hell In A Cell | 38 | 43 | 50 | 419 |
| WWE Stomping Grounds | 5 | 12 | 35 | 131 |
| WWE TLC | 9 | 10 | 11 | 97 |
WOODSY: The only redeeming thing about Super Showdown was Scott Keith reviving the Hot Poker Up the Ass system. And then breaking out the Shane McMahon Unconditional Refund for Stomping Grounds.
JOHN A. SAWYER JR.: Since all of the Saudi shows have been godawful travesties from both an in-ring and real-world perspective, my only remaining concern is that, with so many of them happening, the anti-Saudi vote will split, and something like TripleMania will win on a plurality.
CINCY: When the biggest show of the year has four Worst Match candidatea, runs way past many kids” bedtimes, and has post-show transportation issues, you deserve to be named Worst Major Show. That is the case with WrestleMania 35.
TOKYO MAGNUM: The NJPW half of G1 Supercard was good. The RoH half was so mindbogglingly bad that it seemingly killed their relationship with New Japan and turned them into the punchline that Impact was for years. That’s… real bad.
