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mygif

The thing I can never figure out after these posts is why you read such shitty comic books. I know it’s like, what you do, but still!

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Hey, these are scans from Who’s Who, sort of the DC comics equivalent of the encyclopedia, which was awesome.

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Firestorm’s rogues’ gallery proves one of three things:
1) He’s an underachiever and is afraid to tackle tougher foes
2) He’s a dick who enjoys toying with weak opponents (oh no you tied me up I’m in trouble even though I can fly and turn your rope into whiskey)
3) He’s a complete idiot

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mygif

Am I parsing the image incorrectly, or does Slipknot have two big cut-outs on the sides of his leotard for no sensible reason?

Also, he totally needs hench-thugs named Orgy and Korn.

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mygif

You’ve got your wish!
The Weasel died in a Doom Patrol / Suicide Squad Special way back in the day.

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i like the fact that the hyena’s real name is summer day. very creative, that.

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Of course, he also had Killer Frost, who is awesome turned up to eleven, so that cancels out some of the lame.

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Milkman Dan said on March 11th, 2008 at 10:41 am

I -love- the fact that Who’s Who and the Marvel Handbook have been scanned. Granted, I bought most of them anyway, but I think it’s still cool.

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mygif

The chief weakness of Firestorm is that the “driver” of the matrix has to understand the inner workings of whatever they are converting matter into. Hence the fact that the driver has always been the dumb as rocks college student (I’m looking at you Ronnie Raymond).

Now if Prof Stein had been the only part of the matrix to being with… then short of DC cosmics, nothing should have stopped him.

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mygif

Weasel = Hyena with clothes

More or less?

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mygif

Well, the original Hyena had the “but it’s really my girlfriend’s sister” thing going for it, so Stormy couldn’t really cut loose on it.

And Slipknot’s ropes were rawhide, so Firestorm couldn’t affect them either.

But yeah, I always wondered why Firestorm’s battles weren’t all solved by “I’m going to turn all the air around you to iron. If you surrender, I’ll leave you air holes.”

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Rick: Because Firestorm was created by Jerry Ordway, and his characters never did the smart thing.

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In addition to Killer Frost, you also have Plastique. Her gimmick? Plastic Explosives. Which again, firestorm could turn into, I dunno, Rice Crispies or something.

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NCallahan said on March 11th, 2008 at 11:42 am

So, what I can gather from this post and the comments is, Firestorm (as a title) exists to churn out fodder for the Suicide Squad.

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mygif

Okay, those are definitely morts, but he also had (as previously pointed out) Killer Frost & Plastique, as well as… um… Multiplex… and… Psionic Man… er….

That’s all I got.

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mygif

Re: The women who turns into a Male Were-Hyena. Makes perfect sense that they would make that mistake. See, female hyena’s have a massive enlarged clitoris, resembling an erect penis , which they use to go around raping other hyenas for dominance. Someone probably saw a women transform into a walking harry hyena-monster with a huge boner, and thought she had turned into a guy.

Sad aside: Most hyena childbirth results in the death of the mother, combining the worst parts of having a child and passing a kidney stone.

Maybe Slipknot can form a support group with Iron Man’s Whiplash, for Overshooting Villains.

Didn’t Scans_Daily cover some of these guys? The link to that post seems to be down.

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mygif

Quick question about slipknot: If his big thing is tying knots and whatnot, can he still do it now that he only has one hand?

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CandidGamera said on March 11th, 2008 at 12:24 pm

Firestorm villains? Like shooting fish in a coffee mug. 😉

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mygif

Damn, that’s cool. They should put these in a trading card game or something.

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Blake: The reason that post is gone is because all of my scans_daily posts over the years got nuked when I got banned from Livejournal. I’m going to start reproducing the content gradually here, because I put a lot of work into collecting and tweaking the images and writing the commentary.

Rian: Any card for Weasel should simply say “If you recruit Weasel, you lose the game.” Because you would deserve to.

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mygif

I was gonna make the Hyena comment too but now I don’t have to! I saw nothing that indicated ‘male’ other than the half-version not having standard Comics-Issued Giant Breasts (henceforth known as the CIBGs). Which puts it squarely in the minority.

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Tonsoffun said on March 11th, 2008 at 1:09 pm

I was reading the wikipedia article on Hyena… So apparently one of Firestorms weaknesses is close melee combat. See he has trouble controling the radius and extent of his “atomic transformations”. Still pretty weak sauce if you ask me.

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mygif

That makes perfect sense, MGK. Can’t wait for more material out of Who’s Who.

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hoorayforicecream said on March 11th, 2008 at 1:48 pm

A DC superhero who’s biggest enemy is his own stupidity? How is that surprising?

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Cookie McCool said on March 11th, 2008 at 2:11 pm

He sure “fights” a lot of critters. Oh, critters and perverts, because Slipknot really does not need nipple cut-outs on his costume. Firestorm’s a bit of a nancy-boy who should be on the lookout for some SPCA agents on his tail.

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mygif

MGK spaketh: “So, let me get this straight: Her name is Silver Deer. She is a Native American supervillainess. Her powers are turning into spirit animals and super-gambling?”

But… but… She wears her traditional American Indian fishnets! Surely that’s got to count for something…?

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mygif

It really is astonishing to me that there have been at LEAST two Hyenas.

Man, can’t lose that character from the DC Universe!!

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How many Firestorm villains did Ostrander use in Suicide Squad, all told?

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Tom Galloway said on March 11th, 2008 at 3:30 pm

Required correction: Jerry Ordway had nothing to do with creating Firestorm. Gerry Conway, on the other hand, was Firestorm’s (and pretty much all of these lame-o villains) creator.

And yes, the Hyena curse was transferable via the traditional for were-s scratch/bite that breaks the skin route. Firestorm was infected at one point. And the reason the Hyenas were male? Because they were were-hyenas and “were” means male or man. Thus why it was always amusing to see Marvel character Tigra referred to as a “were-woman”, given she was very female in both physical forms.

Oh, and Firestorm’s powerset also included the ability to be intangible, so none of the physical fighter types should’ve been able to touch him.

Only in his league villain I recall from the Conway years (Ostrander, as I recalled, upped the ante on his choice of villains) was Tokamak, who had similar but greater powers as well as a mind-controlled Firehawk (who he’d also created) on his side.

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mygif

Tyg, Typhoon was also a good match for Firestorm, as I recall. And Killer Frost was tough.

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VersasoVantare said on March 11th, 2008 at 4:46 pm

So, what kind of a character would make a good villain for Firestorm, given how powerful he is? The best I could come up with(perhaps because I’m bankcrupt in terms of imagination) is someone with supernatural abilities, as they’d be working to a different set of rules from Firestorm.

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mygif

And people wonder why bitter Marvel fanboys think DC heroes are characterised by their stupidity.

… What? No, I don’t have anything valuable to contribute to the discussion.

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mygif

“If her weakness turns out to be liquor, how wrong would that be?”

Not very wrong at all? I mean, unless you want to ignore that First Nations are people too and can have problems with substance abuse just like anyone else.

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Andrew – I think the joke was that Silver Deer embodies so many stereotypes that it’s as if the writers just wanted to slap a bunch of lame First Nations references into a character (I wanted to cry when I saw she had control over games of chance). As such, Bird was commenting that if they gave her a stereotypical weakness of native Americans (alcohol), it’d be the lowest they could go with an already embarrassing character.

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mygif

C. Carter, don’t try to reason with Andrew, he obviously has important lessons to hand out to random people on the internet.

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mygif

You forgot Multiplex, the guy who has the ability to become a mob of midgets.

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The hypnosis and assuming the forms of other people might help her out some.

Otherwise currently they ought to put Firestorm up against a Lantern of some sort.

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Joanna S. said on March 12th, 2008 at 4:11 pm

So…Hyena is really a Were-FTM? I’ve never heard of a transgendered Were…hmmm. Maybe this will be the idea that will finally kick-start my paranormal romance writing career. Or not.

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mygif

Another Hyena just showed up in the latest issue of “Superman”, fighting an unnamed flying hero.

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Sofa King said on May 3rd, 2008 at 4:08 pm

Thing is, Hyena would be fine if he were up against, say, Green Arrow. Or Batman. There’s a potential scaryness/creepiness factor there, but not vs. Firestorm. And apparently there were two Hyenas and one was male (the female one’s shrink). Both are dead now though.

Firestorm should fight the Parasite. Or Amazo.

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[…] The shadowy figure in panel 3 could be one of a couple of were-beast villains: the Weasel, who was a guy in a furry suit; or one of the Hyenas. Both were foes of the original […]

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ronnie raymon said on February 26th, 2009 at 2:38 pm

i love this character, its one of my favorites (green lantern, the flash, and the boy scout), i used to watch the justice league series from 80’s if u ask me, this is an underrated character, yeah his enemies are pretty stupid, thats why his comics didnt last much time. But i think its more writer’s fault than of this gr8 character, JLA must have the best 7 Firestorm, Superman, Captain Marvel, Green Lantern, The Flash, Batman, Martian Manhunter)

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THEY FORGOT THE VILLAINS “BLUE DEVIL,KILLER FROST,”

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[…] The other way out of the “too powerful” trap is to up the scale and use the character in cosmic stories – see Green Lantern or Thor, for example. But Firestorm isn’t any good for this because he’s too grounded, because Firestorm’s weakness is that he’s too stupid to use his powers effectively, because understanding the elemental composition of matter is actually tricky. (At least, this is the case of the Ronnie Raymond incarnation, who seems to be the pre-eminent version of the character – even though I would argue the Jason Rusch version is superior.) It’s the sort of weakness that’s simultaneously a really clever idea and a really bad idea, since it’s original but also keeps Firestorm out of truly cosmic stories (because he’s a dummy) and instead fighting useless twats like these. […]

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Gemma Files said on February 17th, 2011 at 11:31 am

I do find it interesting that when I was a kid, I never noticed how many Firestorm villains were A) chicks and B) useless. I mean, I noticed the chick part, but at the time, I thought it was cool, because evil females were underrepresented in my eyes. But…yeah, even with Killer Frost, there’s that whole skanky sexual tension thing going on. Way to crap on my childhood, Chris.

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Mark Temporis said on February 20th, 2011 at 5:41 am

Sofa, actually Firestorm (Ostrander version) fought Parasite and actually defeated him by HAVING TOO MUCH POWAH.

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[…] of others. A man who knows [and loves] comics, he’s written his fair share of posts about them, and demonstrates an impressive knowledge of both Marvel and DC. We would expect someone in his […]

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What ‘s with you & KILLING lame villains? Try giving them a chance & see what could make them interesting! Hell hyenas are some of the most fascinating creatures on earth. They have a sense of family & caring for their cubs that’s outstanding & everyone follows the momma!
What Firestorm really needs is a counterbalance to his powers , what could harm his body if he abuses them, that should do it!

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[…] Finally, Lil’ Russell Burbage sent me a link to a derogatory blog posting entitled, “There is ‘lame,’ and then there are Firestorm villains.” This was posted back in 2008, but is still worth a read. Some items I actively disagree with, while some others I have a hard time arguing against. If you feel like reading someone slam on Firestorm’s rogue gallery, click here. […]

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Mister Bear said on March 25th, 2015 at 7:52 am

Note that female hyenas do have a pseudopenis, and can be difficult to distinguish from the males. So a woman turning into a masculine creature, complete with the proper anatomy, might not be as strange as it first appears.

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quan ly fanpage doanh nghiep

Mightygodking dot com » Post Topic » There is “lame,” and then there are Firestorm villains.

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