Everything I Ever Really Needed To Know I Learned From Asterix Comics, Part One

3.) The Rollercoaster Was Invented Over Two Thousand Years Ago

4.) It Is To Your Advantage To Report Back To Your Superiors Alone

5.) Overtime Sucks

6.) DO NOT STEP ON THE PRETTY FLOWERS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

7.) Hangover Cures Are Endlessly Hilarious

8.) Share And Share Alike

9.) Never Get Sick In India If You Can Help It

10.) Money Isn’t Everything

11.) Good Sportsmanship Involves Jumping Up And Down On Your Opponent A Lot

12.) …No, Really!

13.) Never Forget The… DRAMATIC PAUSE!

14.) Ancient Native Americans, When Clobbered, Hallucinate The Imagery Of The Nation-State Which Would Arrive And Eventually Subjugate Them

15.) If You Narrate, Make Sure The Characters Cannot Hear You

16.) A Wink And Nod To Friendly Rivals Is Appropriate Every Once In A While

17.) Nobody Knows Where Alesia Is

18.) Eventually, Your Reputation Begins To Precede You

19.) The Sound A Tree Makes When Growing Very Very Fast Is “Floooop”

20.) Champagne Can Be Used As A Weapon

21.) What He Said

22.) When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade

23.) Goody Goody Gumdrops!

24.) The Beatles Existed In Many Different Time Periods Simultaneously, Thanks To That Time Ringo Starr Was Briefly The Herald Of Galactus

25.) Comic Creators Are Not Above Fitting A Sly Reference To A Certain Nation, Let’s Call It “Blitzerland,” With A Bit Of A Reputation For Xenophobia

26.) 300 Was Even More Inaccurate Than You Thought

27.) There Is No Such Thing As A Short Man Who Would Not Enjoy This

28.) The Corsicans Invented The Switch-Spear

29.) Temper Tantrums Will Not Magically Create More Strawberries

30.) There Was A Massive Drug Epidemic In Pre-AD Iberia

31.) It Is Unwise To Interrupt A Man’s Game Of Bowls

32.) Never Ask What “Psychological Warfare” Is

33.) All Their Names End In “Af”

34.) Freedom Is Worthless If You’re Too Tired To Enjoy It

35.) Chair Recognizes The Keeper Of The – HOLY SHIT GIANT ROCK