Timothy Hanson, Commander of the 43rd Space Regiment in the 52nd Battalion on board the USAOPAC (United Space Alliance Of Planets Attack Carrier) and second in command to Admiral L. R. Morris of the USAOP Space Command, awoke early for breakfast.
The 2008 Bulwer-Lytton award winners are up.
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7 users responded in this post
Oh, I’ve heard of this before!
I think this one is my favorite. “He was a dark and stormy knight, and this excited Gwendolyn, but admittedly not as much as last night when he was Antonio Banderas in drag, or the night before that when he was a French Legionnaire who blindfolded her and fed her pommes frites from his kepi.”
I really love “She had the kind of body that made a man want to have sex with her.”
Yeah, the funny thing is, I tend to love a lot of the entries. Many of them are hysterical, and like I noted in my own blog, the Sears vasectomy image totally guarantees I’d read fifty pages, at least.
Because it’s awesome.
The other funny thing is that it’s almost like the license to be as bad as possible actually prompts some fantastic writing.
“neo-hipster angst monkey”
This.
“The day started out as uneventfully as any other, and continued thus to midday and from there it was nothing at all to ease into an evening of numbing, undiluted monotony that survived unmarred by even the least act of momentary peculiarity-in fact, let’s skip that day altogether and start with the day after.”
This reminds me a lot of Douglas Adams.
“The homicide detective was an aging woman with a crusty and somewhat ill-tempered personality, an individual who reminded me of the kind of woman my mother, a Sunday-school teacher, would have been if she had been a crusty and somewhat ill-tempered homicide detective.”
From the mouth of babes…
“Creeping slowly over the hill, the sun seemed to catch the small village nestled in the valley by surprise, which is a bit unusual really, as you’d think that something with a diameter of 865,000 miles and a surface temperature of 5780 degrees Kelvin, and which is more normally seen from 93,000,000 miles away, wouldn’t be able to creep anywhere, let alone catch anything by surprise.”