Say I had found a piece of fanfic.
Say it was erotic fanfic.
Now say that the fanfic featured two comic book characters having sex with one another, but that the author has a serious sweat fetish – not only does he focus on the individual characters sweating, but in fact has them actively fetishize the act of sweating, indeed so much so that the characters turn up the heat where they are having sex so they can sweat more, and furthermore that they choose to use sweat as a lubricant.
Yeah, I know, pretty freaky. But here is my question:
what two superhero characters do you think were in the story?
(Yes, it’s real. No, I’m not going to link to it.)
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91 users responded in this post
Green Arrow and Black Lightning.
Hopefully not The Anarchist from X-Force, since he sweats acid!
Lobo and Wolverine? they seem like two hyperthyroid cases.
Wolverine and Batman?
The Hulk and the Thing.
The 10th Doctor and Harry Potter. I know they’re not superheroes, but I figure I still have a good chance of being right due to the nature of fangirls.
What I find interesting is that everyone immediately jumps to the conclusion that it’s slashfic.
Guess that means that most people are indeed aware of the general ratios of these sorts of things out there….
The Blob and the Kingpin.
Phoney Bone and Booster Gold.
Damn, someone already mentioned the Anarchist.
Hmm…someone with super-speed would seem to make sense. One of the Flashes? Or Quicksilver?
The Orphan and Tony Stark?
Batman and Robin?
I’m going to go off the wall and say Peter and Nathan from Heroes.
Heat, huh?
Human Torch and The Thing.
Although I’m not sure that the Thing can sweat…not that I think that would stop a slash writer.
Iceman and DC’s Killer Frost.
I don’t know why but I have this conviction this concerns Nightwing and Arsenal.
Batman and Nightwing is my guess.
Red Tornado and the android Hourman
Clayface and Chemo
Swamp Thing and Man Thing.
Captain America & the Punisher?
Hydro-Man and Sponge.
She-Hulk and Juggernaut?
Nightwing and Robin
Bueno Excellente and Swamp Thing, obviously.
“The… dew… on… my… vines… glistens… for… you…”
“Heh heh… Bueno…”
It had to be a male gay couple, because they would need the extra lubricant. Also, it sounds like at least one of them had heat powers.
So I’m going to say The Human Torch and Spider-Man
Aquaman and Namor
@Mad Scientist:
Well, the use of lubricant in fanfic is pretty exclusive to slash, I think.
I like Wolverine and the Hulk, to combine two guesses from further up.
Palin/Krypto.
Nite Owl and Rorscach.
Rex the wonder dog and Reep Daggle.
Or maybe Animal Man and Vixen.
Charles Xavier and Blob?
It matters not. The glory of the internet is that all characters share the authors particular sexual fetish.
My money is on Jean Gray and Emma Frost personally.
But I bet that if you checked, the author probably has a whole series with similar mutants witha fetish for hot room sex.
Colossus and the Silver Surfer. In addition, their sweat made the local groundwater so contaminated with mercury you could fill a glass from the kitchen sink to tell the temperature, and people were deafened for miles around by the sound of metal-on-metal grinding for days.
Is this what the big hype over Obama showing up in Savage Dragon is all about??
Swamp Thing and Multiple Man
Howard the Duck & Yankee Poodle.
Judging by the implied accuracy and insight of their portrayals, Character A and Character B.
Out of 30 + guesses there’s what, three, four women in there? Oh, internet.
Batman and Spiderman.
Spiderman bottoms.
Mightygodking and Flapjacks?
Superman/Batman
Superman vigorously tops. Batman puts up token resistance, then bites pillow.
Mightygodking and Chris sims
“Out of 30 + guesses there’s what, three, four women in there? Oh, internet.”
Hey, don’t blame the whole Internet for all the Slash fangirls!
“Tommy Monaghan ran his hand down the slick, glistening muscles of his lover. He didn’t know how long he could take the heat. His whole body felt weak with excitement, his strength drained by the turgid power demanding attention in his groin. He ran his manhood up the other man’s thigh, revealing in the slick touch of flesh to flesh. It was too much; he groaned out his thoughts.
“‘Oh, Grimbor…’”
Wolverine and Sabretooth. Two big, sweaty guys.
Rex the Wonder Dog and Squirrel Girl?
It gets better when you think of the fact that dogs sweat by drooling.
Magneto and Dr. Xavier… They used to be friends!
Superman and that Daxamite, the one from the Phantom Zone.
For the extra dose of wrongness: Aquaman and Aqualad.
… now I want to know, but don’t want to know …
Joe Quesada + Dan DiDio = Ultimate Forbidden Love?
Going to guess Nightwing and Kyle Rayner.
Interesting guesses all, but obviously, we’re talking about the Blob and Solaris The Tyrant Sun.
I mean, duh.
sweat…heat…someone should’ve mentioned
human torch (fantastic four) and Phoenix (x-men)
or human torch and sunspot (x-men)
or how about pyro (x-men) and human torch?
Or how about both Human Torches? Hot android/man love!
C’mon, MGK. You gotta let us know if we guess at least one of them right.
talky tawny and fing fang foom?
Guy Gardner and Kyle Raynor.
Namor and Aquaman, hands down.
“Rex the Wonder Dog and Squirrel Girl?”
YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH.
Hercules and I don’t know who else but definitely Hercules.
Out of 30 + guesses there’s what, three, four women in there? Oh, internet.
It mostly seems like the sweat-fetishism thing would lend itself to dudes banging.
Green Lantern Hal Jordan and Parallax Hal Jordan…
Spiderman and Flash. Because there’s already a video of it.
Mogo and Ego
I find it interesting that not one of these guesses are heterosexual.
This is the Internet. There IS no normal, hetereosexual erotic fanfic.
Galactus and Bat-Mite
Doctor Doom and Batman
Sabertooth and The Joker
Darkseid and Thanos
I’m thinking a calendar of these kinds of homosexual pairings would sell millions.
Superman and Batman
Obviously.
I’m taking the statistical probability angle and guessing Steve Rogers and Tony Stark.
giganta and shrinking violet?
Dilton Doiley and Moose Mason.
My guess it’s the Flash and Hawkwoman on the JLA Watchtower or Orbital Satellite.
Since you never mention that it was slash or alluded to any form of homo-erotic overtones I’ll keep my guess at a straight pairing.
As you are defending the memory of the characters and keeping us from costly therapy bills, I’ll wager it’s from the DC stable. People are much less noble about defending the memory of Marvel characters for some reason. Side note: Since you aren’t using expletives, I’d say it was set in the modern DCU and not playing with the Legion, what be your baby.
As the characters are sweating in the authors fetish set, they must have the capacity for exertion from physical activity and the capacity to sweat.
As they turn up the heat during their lovemaking session this might note where they are is cold and they require the body heat(The Satellite H.Q. or the Watchtower moon base). Also setting them in a pairing that is required, like Watchtower duty leading to more.
Since the sweating is used as lubrication this notes that there is a friction issue with the frotting or penetration associated with the act.
As many erotic fiction authors use material in media that is easier to associate with. This is so they can lessen the lengthy burden of plot or backstory and get to the hump and pump.
With the Justice League cartoon, two characters shown to have physical exertion and possibly sweat production are Hawkwoman(Her mace is heavy and she always make an issue of it’s heft in the show) and Flash(His speed powers and movement against his human limitations).
Just a guess.
Gold and Beetle.
Now the real question is which Beetle?
I’ll go with Wolvie/Sabretooth too.
JK
Homosexual pairings dominate simply because men outnumber women in the super population. Sorry. Just statistically unlikely that the pairing is M-F.
But MGK said “two comic book characters” so the pair is not necessarily super. Could be Little LuLu and Richie Rich, for all we know.
If we’re talking gay fanfics I’m gonna go with Thor.
So I’ll say Thor has a forbidden affair with Captain America
Yeah, women sweating just doesn’t sound nearly as erotic.
Batman/Superman would be my guess.
And there were a few hetero pairings mentioned. But most females tend to not really need lube– in erotic fanfic, that is– since they tend to automatically be HOT N WET etc. etc. *rolls eyes*
Archie & Jughead?
Congo Bill and Mark Trail.
Kingpin and Amanda Waller?
Emma frost and Logan.
You have to tell us Chris!
The Blob and Big Bertha.
Batgirl, definitely; at least back when I was occasionally noticing such things, Batgirl had by far the largest fetish fanfickers. Mostly bondage. People who get their sexuality from the Adam West TV show are probably not any weirder than anybody else, I guess.
The other one could be lots and lots of people, but I’ll say Power Girl just because.
The thing is that the context of the post suggests that the fanfic under discussion is significantly disturbing. Gay fanfic is thus the least level of fanfic we can assume (since no violence is mentioned). However I don’t think gay fanfic sounds disturbing enough, so my guess?
Supergirl and Comet.
They just got back after a ride in the country, she notices how Sweaty the ride has made Comet. How his coat glistens.
Yup. that’s my bet.
in fact gay fanfic is sort of the norm nowadays isn’t it. It’s normal.
Come on, you can’t drop such a tasteful puzzle, and then not give the answer.
Richie Rich and Little Dot.
…..pyro and human torch???