I’m extremely powerful but I don’t want to boast
I can use my heat vision to make fresh heated toast
And technically I’m much stronger than Diana or J’onn
Nearly as fast as Wally, I don’t think that I’m wrong
I’m just as smart as Batman though some people think I”m not
I know that Batman’s one of those, but I’m kettle to his pot
I don’t have a Green Lantern ring, but really, I don’t need one
And that much power concentrated seems a bit overdone
Lex Luthor thinks he’s smarter but you know he’s got no soul
The Earth is something that he’ll never manage to control
And I’ve got just a few small words for that dirty ol’ Darkseid
I’m sure that I could handle him using only my Clark side
X-ray vision, super-breath, common sense and wisdom
Depending on the era, maybe super-hypnotism
And then there is that thing where the rays shoot from my hands
I’m not quite sure just what that is, nobody understands
But regardless, I’ll always fight for truth and liberty
Because all those things are terribly important to me!
That was good, right, guys? Wack? Wack is when it’s good, right?
Oh?
Okay then.
(Superman smiles, leaves the rest of the League, deflects an asteroid that otherwise would have wiped out all life on Earth, rescues a young girl’s kitten that is caught in a tree, transports a sinking merchant vessel to dry land, and still finds time to drink a glass of milk with a young inner-city youth in need of a role model.)
Top comment: Clark Kent has the special power to convert sunlight into a perfect singer voice, but his reliance on it earns him the disdain of Bruce “the Bat” Wayne, who has trained in all forms of music extensively to honor his dead parents’ memory. They overcome their disagreements to form the greatest band in the history of the universe. Wally West brings the speed riffs, philosophical J’onn and jokester Patty O’Brian widen their songs with violin and accordion (respectively), Kyle Rainer is a wonder on the turn table, Arthur Curry plays bass as deep as the sea, and lady-like Diana Prince shows unexpectedly brutal drum work. — NCallahan
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Boy he didn’t even mentioned Aquaman. I feel sorry for the fishman.
Well not really.
Obligatory “LOL FIRST COMMENNT”.
Your little in parentheses closer kinda took the gist of what I was thinking. Damn you MGK, GET OUT OF MY MIND!
This is what separates Superman from Captain Marvel — musical talent. Sure, Captain Marvel hasn’t got rhymes, but he plays some mean riffs. Superman? The vibrations of a xylophone can kill Superman.
It’s just no contest.
I liked the Darkseid/Clark side rhyme.
Having Superman be a polite battle rapper is obvious in hindsight, yet still an inspired choice.
I’d point out, NCallahan, that Superman can repair the universe, kill Darkseid, and defeat an evil vampire Monitor from before the dawn of time with his song. He’s got the pipes, he just doesn’t like to boast.
(Said Superman had come to town to see who he could rock)
(He blew away every crew he faced until he reached the block)
(His speakers were three stories high with woofers made of steel)
(And when we boys sit outside, he said “I boom for real”)
He said, “I’m faster than a speedin’ bullet when I’m on the set
I don’t need no fans to cool my a**, I just use my super breath
I could fly three times around the world without missin’ a beat
I socialize with X-ray eyes, and ladies think it’s sweet
(And then he turned his power on and the ground began to move)
(And all the buildings for miles around were swayin’ to the groove)
(And just when he had fooled the crowd and swore he wouldn’t fight)
We rocked this bet with a 12 inch cut called Disco Kryptonite
Well, Superman looked up at me, he said, “You rock so naturally”
I said now that you’ve learned to deal, let me tell you why I’m so for real
I’m Cozmo D from outer space, I came to rock the human race
I do it right ’cause I can’t do it wrong
That’s why the whole world is singin’ this song
Newcleus – Jam on It
John Seavey:
Thanks. Now I have a vision of the Justice League as a rock music anime about believing in yourself and the power of friendship.
Clark Kent has the special power to convert sunlight into a perfect singer voice, but his reliance on it earns him the disdain of Bruce “the Bat” Wayne, who has trained in all forms of music extensively to honor his dead parents’ memory. They overcome their disagreements to form the greatest band in the history of the universe. Wally West brings the speed riffs, philosophical J’onn and jokester Patty O’Brian widen their songs with violin and accordion (respectively), Kyle Rainer is a wonder on the turn table, Arthur Curry plays bass as deep as the sea, and lady-like Diana Prince shows unexpectedly brutal drum work.
Features Justice League Detroit as a rival punk band and Supergirl as the karaoke-obsessed comic relief.
All these references to Wally are outdated.
He’s irrelevant now that Barry Allen Lives Again! ALL IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD HALLELUJAH THE SILVER AGE IS BACK BUT BLACKER. SAME CHARACTER, MORE RAPE HALLELUJAH HALLELUJAH HALLELUJAH.
You forgot that as he spins phat rhymes, he’s fending off Doctor Manhattan and his neon blue junk and bitch slapping the Sentry at the same time, with the same hand.
It’s kind of funny to imagine the Justice League as a band in the vein of Deathklok.
Superman only learned how to spit because that dude from the Sugar Hill Gang ran off with Lois. It’s a problem.
Best: And I’ve got just a few small words for that dirty ol’ Darkseid/I’m sure that I could handle him using only my Clark side
The Brutal League of Metal?