My weekly TV column is up at Torontoist.
Finally, I’m not alone on EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS. I mean, it had its tone problems and all, but the jumping spiders vs. motorbikes sequence is pretty awesome.
Olympics boosters can be kind of tetchy can’t they? I like the ones who think disliking the Olympics means disliking sports…
Do they actually show the Olympic curling on Canadian TV? I don’t think NBC has shown it once yet. I don’t think they mean it as an insult to Canada, but you can take it as one if you like.
I don’t think you criticised cross-country skiing enough. It really is one of the dullest sports ever invented, and they show way too much of it on TV right now.
The only really great Winter Olympic sport is short-track speed-skating, but I think it might be completely over now.
Summer Olympics has volleyball, and that’s always worth watching. (The real volleyball, not that beach crap.)
What if the Olympics were made a bit more competitive? By that I mean the games would still have a winter or summer theme, depending on the time they’re held, but the athletes wouldn’t know which sport they were competing in until they’d reached the Olympic village. It’d be a bit more like ‘Survivor,’ and there would be enough physical failure to make it out-do ‘American Idol’ for having a cringe-factor.
Are you sure you’re Canadian?
Well, I checked, and my penis is still larger than average, so yeah, I’m pretty sure.
@Mary: All the Olympics are shown on Canadian TV, and live on one channel on another. Also, curling is huge in Canada.
If the primary mark of canadianess was an greater than average penis length, this raises a slight question of who’s average penis length these bilingual canadian penises are larger than.
Logically, and given the context, one would assume that it was the average penis length of canadian penis owners that canadians were on average larger than, but if that was so then this would drive the average penis size of canadia up an infinitely large amount, and therefore for canadians to have a greater than average penis length canadian penis owners would require an effectively infinite penis size on average, so the effective average penis size in canada could then have to be recordable as aleph-null centimeters in length, and the penis length of any specific canadian penis owner would be measurable as aleph-1 centimeters in length.
However that would be quickly noticed by the world when canada collapsed into a giant sucking blackhole of penises… which sounds a bit like alberta actually. Huh.
So phalli-centric boast upheld I guess.
I always just assumed you guys had the same +5 bonus against cold weather shrinkage the scandinavians and arctic aboriginal peoples have.
Sure are a lot of bitchy commenters at the Torontoist site.
“Sure are a lot of bitchy commenters at the Torontoist site.”
Well, he was criticizing something they like, which is to a certain segment of the population indistinguishable from attacking them personally.
I’ve stopped even trying to talk about movies and such on the internet except in the blandest possible terms, because somehow “I didn’t find X movie to be that good.” somehow morphs in some people’s minds into “Your mother fucks goats for quarters, and you’re what ran down her leg afterword.”
The Olympics is nothing but a big national circle jerk countries give themselves every two years.
Calling the Olympics a big circle jerk makes it sound much more enjoyable than it actually is.
The Olympics… can be fun, I guess, on occasion.
Honestly, though, I welcome their arrival, because it means two weeks where I won’t have to make time for new episodes of my favorite shows. I have a love-hate relationship with TV due to the fact that I’ve never gotten the hang of this “time shift” thing.
NBC shows tons of curling, but they relegate it to the CNBC and MSNBC channels.
These days the most fun part of the Olympics is watching the various nations debase and humiliate themselves to try to get the IOC to bring the Olympics to their country. They should televise more of that – especially if it could be done “To Catch a Predator” style.
The actual Olympics seems to turn into “medal count” pissing contests for various countries. Which is also kind of hilarious because it shows how insecure so many of these countries are that their self-worth seems to be wrapped up in how many fake gold discs they can acquire (says the man from the USA who seems to be among the worst offenders when it comes to the chest-thumping medal count crap – you’d think owning the world’s largest stockpile of substitute atomic penises would be enough for us, but apparently our self esteem issues are so deep that even giant nuclear penises that can destroy the world multiple times over can’t really compensate for it…)
I loved your rant about the Olympics, and agree 100% with you. Everybody gets all worked up about how many medals our country won and how we compare to the others, and I don’t CARE. I don’t care about practically every Olympic event, and the fact that some of my compatriots participate in those events isn’t a good reason for me to pretend to care – especially considering that most people who DO ‘pretend to care’ only do so during the brief period in which the Olympics take place, and go back to ignoring those sports as soon as the Olympics are over.
I like to watch sports that I like to watch, and staging sports competitions as huge defenses of national pride in order to attract my interest rarely works. Why should I feel bad that I don’t care about a sport that I don’t care about?
I wuold like the Olympics if World’s Strongest Man events were included. but then the damn Icelanderishese people would always be winning.
Canadian cities that have held Olympics:
Montreal; Calgary; Vancouver.
Do Torontonians notice a missing name? Do they care? Are they jealous? Of course not.
Also, nah-nah from beautiful Vancouver.
(Seriously, the Olympics are a party for “the youth of the world,” not, “a party for all those people who for various could reasons couldn’t attend and yet still watch TV.”
The big TV networks have concluded that lots of people like to vicariously participate, anyway, and bid a buncha money to televise it. That pays for an even more spectacular party. How is that anyone’s fault?
I ignore them and delve deeply into our Netflix Instant View selections available ont he XBox. We watched all 5 episodes of Sparticus this past weekend, which was cool becuase we don’t get the channel it runs on.
I have to admit. I really really liked it, and not just for the grauitous sex and so realistic it’s shockingly laughable gore.
Spartacus! I do know how to spell that. Really, I do!
@Fontenelle: There’s nothing ‘pretend’ about only being interested in some sports some of the time. I tend to watch hockey only during the playoffs, and a lot less if the Leafs aren’t in it, but it doesn’t mean I’m pretending to care. It just happens to be more exciting when there’s more at stake and the players are energized. Same goes for soccer. With a lot of the Olympic events, I enjoy watching them as a novelty once every 4 years, but obviously would get bored watching them year-round.
So don’t worry; a lot of those people ‘pretending to care’ are, for reals, enjoying themselves and excited about the games. If the Olympics were on all the time, ratings would plummet.
As for holding the Olympics in Toronto, I think the prevailing attitude is it would cost too much money with little benefit, and mess stuff up; the Montreal debt, only paid off in 2006 or so, is always at the back of our minds. Maybe the prevailing sentiment will shift, who knows.
Criminy. Am I the only one who actually likes the Olympics? I mean, I don’t watch all the sports either, but I get so caught up in the pageantry and drama and the brilliance of human endeavor framed by honorable competition. I even dig having an excuse to be patriotic. Well, different strokes, I guess.
“As for holding the Olympics in Toronto, I think the prevailing attitude is it would cost too much money with little benefit, and mess stuff up; the Montreal debt, only paid off in 2006 or so, is always at the back of our minds. Maybe the prevailing sentiment will shift, who knows.’
You’re just afraid that no-one would come to your party.
Relax. You’re more popular than you know.
I’m kind of over the dick-swinging metaphor that’s associated with sports/patriotism/whatever. Most of the women I know are competetive as fuck, especially with each other, but with men, too. And *alert* women don’t have dicks. Do you know any women?
“You’re just afraid that no-one would come to your party. You’re more popular than you know.”
Not too worried about not selling out of Olympic tickets. But thanks for the reassurance.
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