Peanut butter cookies are and will always be inferior to regular cookies with peanut butter smeared on them.
The best type of homemade fried rice is hot dog fried rice.
If you reduce 7Up enough, you eventually get something suitable for glazing ham that looks like Crystal Gravy from that SNL fake ad.
Beer can chicken is for wimps. Real cooks make Zima chicken.
If more people ate peameal roast, then the internet would probably shut up about bacon.
If you go to a state fair where they have a contest serving the weirdest fried food, sometimes a creepy little girl will hand you a plate of fried something and then seven days later you will die.
The next step in pizza is no-crust pizza. That’s right: pizza made entirely of cheese.