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mygif

Then there could be a big crossover where it turns out Galactus was orginally Gargamel.

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DistantFred said on February 18th, 2011 at 11:26 am

I going to have go with the second option here, because the first one requires The Smurfs as a story to be hundreds of billions of years old.

The Smurfs being some kind of offshoot race in 17th century Belgium works a few ways. First off, with life apparently beginning in the universe on Earth, self important types like the Guardians would likely have set up a watchstation there to be safe. Secondly ther was a Ganthet heavy story at one point that established leprauchans as being Guardian offshoots, too, so there’s precedent for it.

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mygif

Yeah, Ganthet’s Tale, basically made option two canonically plausible, even if it didn’t mention Gargamel by name.

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mygif

It is entirely possible that in Option 2, a clean shaven Vandal Savage is in fact Gargamel. Broke and destitute after heavy investment in slavery – he couldn’t foresee that human nature would eventually reject the concept. No longer able to take power by force, Savage turned to alchemy to restore his fortune and power. Naturally, the Smurfs were the natural resource he needed.

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mygif

That is some seriously smurfed- up smurf you’re theorising.

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mygif

I’ll have to second jeffwik- Larry Niven in Ganthet’s Tale posits Option 2.

Personally, I find comparing the Guardians to the Smurfs insulting…for the Smurfs.

At least the Smurfs show some degree of competence.

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mygif

Damn, popped in here to mention Ganthet’s Tale, but i got 1-upped.

Oh well, at least I can Google-Fu up a pic of a Smurfy-lookin hat from said

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mygif

The latter. The Smurfs have no women, except for Smurfette who is an artificial creature birthed in Gargamel’s laboratory. This is a scenario that could readily arise from the mono-gendered Guardians, but less likely from the bi-gendered species that gave rise to the Guardians.

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mygif

Well, no less of an authority than Duck Dodgers did call a Guardian “Papa Smurf”…

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R.A. Bartlett said on February 18th, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Does this mean Gargamel fucked up by not making Smurfette taller an a redhead.

Still, I stand by my posit that the Smurfs reproduce from sporting mushrooms. They live in their parents.

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mygif

You’ve all read Preacher, right?

The Smurfs are the result of a Grail-like breeding programme, of the descendants of the Guardian Messiah. Gargamel is Herr Starr.

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Willie Everstop said on February 18th, 2011 at 2:52 pm

The Smurfs are genetically modified Kree lab rats that escaped from a downed science vessel in the 18th century. The Smurf’s houses used to be the Kree captain’s collection of molds, spores, and fungus.

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mygif

The Smurfs will never evolve because they got no dicks. ’nuff said. If Gargamel really wanted to punish them he would make a whole village full of woman for them to fight over and to bitch at them. That is how you crush their spirit.

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mygif

At first I got “Guardians” confused with “Masters”, which raises some intriguing possibilities!

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mygif

I’m going with 2. The male – female imbalance of Smurfs makes them an evolutionary dead end.

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mygif

Wow, Percival is Poppa Smurf. Option #2 it is.

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Tom Scudder said on February 18th, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Here, have the most bizarre piece of Smurfs fanfiction ever written:

We do not know how Montechristien Gargamel came into his power. His origins are a mystery. How such an ungainly, strange, and immoral man could rise so swiftly to prominence puzzles even the greatest scholars of our time. Of his life once established in Castle Gargamel, however, certain facts are known.

He took to wife the Lady Yseult Gargamel, one of the great beauties of his day; and though many a rival pressed for evidence that he’d bewitched or stolen her, none was ever found. They had and loved six children of their flesh, until the seventh, Elisabet, killed Yseult with the complications of her birth. Each of these children was a prodigy, possessed of astonishing talents. When at last Montechristien stumbled towards the grave, the talents of his children turned against their siblings, every hand against the other, until at last they could dispose of the matter of their legacy.

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mygif

Well, there’s a solid argument for both possibilities.

The Smurfs-as-forefathers theory works inasmuch as the Smurfs exist in an ancient time of castles and sorcery. Moreover, consider the following: Gargamel ceaselessly quests to capture Smurfs and use them to create gold, which can only be accomplished via the right use of spells. What is the only weakness of the Green Lantern ring’s otherwise unstoppable might? Yellow. Coincidence? Obviously not.

Still, this might just be a Planet of The Apes-esque Catch-22. Does the fear of becoming gold become the yellow impurity or does the yellow impurity create the fear of becoming gold? Given the cosmic level-shenanigans the Guardians start, it is entirely plausible that they will at some future point be reduced in both size and power for their unceasing hubris, reduced to the very archetypes of emotions they sought to harness as weapons. Brainy Smurf and Vanity Smurf would then be both cutting critiques and eternal punishments made into diminutive flesh.

In truth, you’ve created an argument here that can only be decisively decided by further implications (or flat-out canon declarations) within either DCU or Smurf continuity. Kudos!

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mygif

I thought Homnivus the wizard created The Smurfs?

That was the origin I remember, basically using the blue clay method that Gargamel did (though Gargamel’s recipe for Smurfette was flawed due to his own evil intentions)

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mygif

In Smurfiest Smurf, in Smurfiest Smurf,
No Smurf shall Smurf my Smurf
Let Smurfs who Smurf Smurf’s Smurf,
Smurf my Smurf… Smurf’s Smurf!

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Craig Oxbrow said on February 19th, 2011 at 11:41 am

What, all blue people look alike to you? I’m outraged!

– Na’vi spokesbeing

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mygif

What, all blue people look alike to you? I’m outraged!

– Na’vi spokesbeing

Or Krishna from Top Ten #7.

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mygif

Jesus. I hope Grant Morrison doesn’t see this.

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mygif

Another thing to consider – Gargamel’s entire raison d’être for catching the Smurfs is so he coan make Gold out of their ingredients. Think about what’s required to create a Philospher’s Stone in Full Metal Alchemist – a living human being. The Smurfs are just a handy shortcut without having to sacrifice human lives.

Of course, given that Gargamel managed to make his own personal Smurf (who later rebelled against him), one wonders why he simply doesn’t create his own ingredients from the ground up to afford his personal ambitions? Given the inherent difficulty of creating one (read The Smurfette to find out what they’re made of), it could just be easier to get the raw materials out in the open than make a personal army of little blue warriors who could turn on their master at any moment’s notice. (Given Gargamel’s reputation at handling the little monsters, this is a wise choice)

Some more insights from the long-defunct Cartoon Overanalyzation site that was saved and posted for posterity:
http://cartoonoveranalyzations.com/2008/06/11/from-the-archives-the-great-smurf-height-debate/

How tall are Smurfs really? I mean, they live in mushrooms, so how big can they be? Most people I ask think they are over a foot tall. But I think they must be less than two inches. Sure, the smurfs look pretty large compared to Gargamel, but you have to remember the perspective of the camera is often from the Smurf’s point of view, and therefore sizes are disorted. Furthermore, Gargamel is the only human I can recall seeing so we have nothing to compare his size with. Perhaps Gargamel is just a little-wee man. As a final thought, if the smurfs were over a foot tall, their mushroom houses would have to be at least the size of a Le car or maybe a player piano.
– Contributed by Tyler C.

As a response to the article about the height of a Smurf, I would like to mention that on The Smurfs’ Christmas Special (with the song “Goodness Makes the Badness Go Away”), there were several other humans to compare to Gargamel’s height. I would say, because the average Middle-Ages male was about 5’6″ (app.), this means that Gargamel was a stooping 5′ (app.). My guess, then, is that Smurfs are about 4-5 inches tall, and therefore have big mushroom houses. This is further supported by the fact that the Smurfs were an alchemist race (who knows what Papa Smurf was really making?), and probably need a lot of mushroom in their “spells.” However, 1 foot tall mushrooms have been known to exist (just look at a fallen tree, and you just might see one). Again, the Smurfs are in a fantastic world, and for all we know, they might be bigger than us (and all the humans that have appeared are giants!). Will we ever truly know?
– Contributed by Stephen G.

Talking about the Smurfs’ size-I recall a few episodes where OK, I haven’t watched many cartoons for a long time, but reading all these comments on them is bringing back my old observations. In regards to the Smurf issue, it’s always seemed interesting to me that Gargamel’s cat was named Azrael, which is the name of the Angel of Death. Also, Azrael would chase the Smurfs for some reason, and he was quite a bit larger than them. I think they’re about mouse-size. People are talking about Gargamel’s size, and traditionally bad characters tend to be misshapen in some way,and I think he is very short because that would fit in with the personality stereotype they are trying to produce (wily, crafty, sneaky, also he is hunched over all the time). And to add to the mushroom symbolism in The Smurfs, Papa Smurf seems to represent the Amanita muscaria mushroom, the red capped mushroom so often portrayed in “innocent fairytales” or any illustration using a mushroom at all. He even wears a red cap. This would add to his sort of father figure/shaman/leader of the tribe image. Does anyone remember those vampire Smurfs? I think they were “gnats”, with the g pronounced (guhnats). They turned purple and when they bit another smurf, they would turn them into a vampire, too. Although, they didn’t actually drink blood. I’d like to hear someone’s opinion on this.
-Contributed by George H.

I remember seeing The Smurfs when I grew up, and I remember hearing in an early opening that the Smurfs were “three apples tall”. Many years later, I saw a Smurf T-shirt showing one of the little blue creatures exactly as tall as three apples next to him labelled “I Measure Up.” Since an apple is about 3 or 4 inches tall, I think 9 inches to a foot would be a good measure for a Smurf’s height.
-Contributed by Darrel J.

Remember the old commercials for The Smurfs said they were 3 apples high? Put 3 apples on top of one another. These Smurfs were HUGE! Think about the ratio here. Imagine the size of the mushrooms these things live in. Gargamel must have been blind not to find them. In the opening credits the smurfs run underneath Azrael’s legs. Given the “3 apples high” ratio this makes Azrael the size of a mountain lion, and thusly makes Gargamel out to be roughly 20 feet high.
-Contributed by Dante W.

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malakim2099 said on February 20th, 2011 at 10:06 am

Jesus. I hope Grant Morrison doesn’t see this.

But a battle to the death between him and Geoff Johns would be amusing, no?

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William Kendall said on February 20th, 2011 at 3:37 pm

“Jesus. I hope Grant Morrison doesn’t see this”

“But a battle to the death between him and Geoff Johns would be amusing, no?”

And just for the sake of a wild card, toss Frank Miller into the mix.

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William Kendall said on February 20th, 2011 at 3:38 pm

I was of the impression that the smurfs were code for the Ku Klux Klan. Papa Smurf being the grand dragon, and those hats do look like KKK hoods, you know…

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mygif

The Smurf’s were long lived. Take Grandpa and Grandma Smurf for example. Granpa was at least several thousand years old. Papa Smurf was over 500. There ARE other female Smurfs other than Smurfette. There’s Sassette who was created by the Smurflings (1000 year old Smurfs who were de-aged by magic). Sasette was made to be a friend for Smurfette. BUT Grandma Smurf was natural born.

I say that the Smurfs and Snorks (well there were several crossovers) are offshoots of the guardians.

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mygif

Oh, you’re talking about Oans.

I was thinking “Masters of the Universe.”

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mygif

There were Smurf/Snork crossovers? This strangely intrigues me.

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mygif

Just the idea of Frank Miller writing Smurfs is strangely intriguing to me. His characterization of Smurfette alone might be too incredible for the universe to handle.

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mygif

First, of all Smurfs are based on some old comic book called The Black Smurfs in which a black smurf tries to infect by biting them a la zombie movies.

Second, Smurfs don’t lay eggs!

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mygif

I was of the impression that the smurfs were code for the Ku Klux Klan.

No, no, no. I thought everyone knew that Smurfs were communists!

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mygif

Smurfs Smurfing Blue Creatures…

[…] s the fear of becoming gold become the yellow impurity or does the yellow impuri […]…

mygif

The Smurfs do have a dick.You would be stupid not to believe they don’t have one since they are male.

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