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Why must you make me long to read things that will never exist?

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babylonianfrost said on August 21st, 2012 at 9:15 am

Is…is that Sledge Hammer in the top right?

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LashLightning said on August 21st, 2012 at 9:17 am

This is the single cruellest thing you’ve ever done, and it’ll be pretty hard to beat.

I mean, you could eat a whole sackful of puppies and it wouldn’t fill me with the remorse equal to the remorse I feel of this not likely ever being fleshed out to a full story.

I mean, the Tron/Max Headroom crossover *alone*…

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See, this is already 100 times more interesting than Alan Moore’s actual LoEG third volume. Seriously, can you like expand this into a script or fanfic or something?? If I could give you money for this, I would.

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ZOMG SLEDGE AND MAX

i want this because of reasons

ALL THE REASONS

The Bird/Brar/Wheel trifecta is terrifying in its capacity for awesome. Well done, gents.

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I’m almost certain that something this awesome being described and not existing as a real thing violates some kind of Geneva convention or something.

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Thomas Wilde said on August 21st, 2012 at 9:53 am

Was The Craft a lot more influential than I thought? It took me a little while to figure out that was where Nancy was from.

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Thomas Wilde said on August 21st, 2012 at 9:55 am

Also, it may betray my biases, but it’d be difficult for me to not stick Jules Winfield on there.

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I mean, the Tron/Max Headroom crossover *alone*…

That was entirely Davinder’s idea. We tossed around a lot of ideas for the exhibits – the velociraptor skeleton was the only thing universally agreed upon, and sadly I realized too late that something from the great ALF extermination on Melmac would be brilliant.

Also, it may betray my biases, but it’d be difficult for me to not stick Jules Winfield on there.

Jules was, as I recall, one of the final eliminations, along with Sil from Species and Peyton “Darkman” Westlake.

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…the velociraptor skeleton…

(psst: it’s a deinonychus skeleton. Yeah, yeah, I know, you’re just reflecting the movie’s deliberate confusion of the two. But the proper identification of the skeleton seems like something Scully would insist on.)

Why is it that these kinds of exercises in later-period LoEGs are always so damn compelling? Special props to you guys for the references on the wall, as well, which are as good as or better than the “present” incarnation standing beneath them.

Excellent artwork, too.

Now if I could just remember where I saw other such pastiches. I guess if I go to deviantArt or do a search, I’ll find tons.

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Was The Craft a lot more influential than I thought? It took me a little while to figure out that was where Nancy was from.

It was actually a pretty successful movie at the time, but really, Nancy is in there because she is a monster – and the LXG has always had monsters in it.

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Very nice use of the concept. Who’s the woman with the green hair on the right?

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Who’s the woman with the green hair on the right?

Clearly you are not Chris Sims or you would recognize Pizzazz from the Misfits.

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Mitchell Hundred said on August 21st, 2012 at 10:36 am

Dammit, I can’t find my shit.

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Wow, I think I like this even more than the Sims/Shackles 1988 version. The teams are about even, but there are so many more Easter eggs, and the artwork/composition feels more reminiscent of the original covers.

Out of curiousity, could we please get a complete list of what didn’t make the cut for the Easter eggs?

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Out of curiousity, could we please get a complete list of what didn’t make the cut for the Easter eggs?

No, mostly because we didn’t write any of that down and did it over beers and now I don’t remember and Davinder was probably already working on them at that point anyway.

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The only one who I am not sure if Google can help me identify is Rufus. What/where is he from? Other than that, even though I was unfamiliar with about half of these characters, it still enthuses me to see the work being put in! Great job!

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Have you not heard the saga of the legendary Bill and Ted, and their Excellent Adventure?

Man, I would pay all the money in the world for this to really happen. Every single cent.

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Whoops, improperly formatted comment. That was a reply to comixkid2099′s question about Rufus.

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*deep breath*

Okay, I didn’t want to betray my ignorance (although after the Rufus query I don’t feel so bad), but…

the woman in the red fedora and coat? Laura Holt? Or someone else?

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DistantFred said on August 21st, 2012 at 11:10 am

She’s Carmen f’n Sandiego. The greatest thief there ever was.

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You know, I wondered about that…

But then I thought I was being silly. Of course, one of the Misfits from Jem should have been an indication not to worry about that.

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(I STILL can’t believe effin’ Sledgehammer is on that wall.)

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The Unstoppable Gravy Express said on August 21st, 2012 at 11:41 am

Maybe Jules didn’t make it in, but I can only assume the briefcase in the foreground is The Briefcase…?

Chow Yun-Fat YAY!!!

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okay I recognise majority of the pictures on the wall, except for the one where there is a “?” for a head. who is that?

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Well, it’s got The Briefcase’s combination. But would they really leave it unlocked?

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LightlyFrosted said on August 21st, 2012 at 12:10 pm

People are thrilled over all of those other ones, but I’m kinda digging the fact that Zack from Saved by the Bell’s ability to stop time is canonical. And a plot element.

Yay my childhood!

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LashLightning said on August 21st, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Alan: That’s just a general image used in Alan Moore’s works of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Good lord, this is wonderful. I was amused by the 80s Fan League, but this is brilliant. If only Moore wasn’t such a damn whiner about most of post 1900s culture.

And a Saved By The Bell reference!

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POKEBALL~!

Also, adding my voice to the “Why isn’t this real, dammit?” chorus.

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Is…is that Sledge Hammer in the top right?

That was the one that I put in there entirely for myself. Every other pick was a result of a complex equation including story logic, team dynamics, and recognizability (it’s math, you wouldn’t understand), but with that portrait the thought was, “I don’t care what anyone says, Sledge Hammer is going on the damned wall.”

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VersasoVantare said on August 21st, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I have to admit, I was oddly amused by Zach being described as a “sociopath”. I haven’t watched Saved by the Bell since I was a kid though, so I don’t know how accurate that is.

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Zack Morris is Patrick Bateman when Patrick Bateman was a teenager.

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The Unstoppable Gravy Express said on August 21st, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Also I love that KITT made the 80s League, but Michael Knight apparently didn’t.

(I hope they fought Garth Knight though.)

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SilverHammerMan said on August 21st, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Man, every time someone does a new version of the LoEG it’s amazing and way more interesting than what Moore actually did. In fairness though, he was probably a little hamstrung by the fact that modern works are rarely public domain and the fact that he isn’t as versed in modern pop culture. Which lead to stuff like his terrible “Harry Potter sucks” ending to the actual story.
Um, anyway, this is awesome, I’m a little disappointed that there’s no appearance from the radical environmental terrorist known as Captain Planet though. And I can’t figure out who the figure with a question mark head in the picture on the wall is.

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Alegretto said on August 21st, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Wait, who altered history then?

Will I really never know?

D:

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In my mind, those unusually altruistic 5 teens “With Attitude” are all trippling balls on Playback sold to them by Bulk and Skull behind the Angel Grove Youth Center.

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Davinder: very well done. By including both Hammer and Headroom, you’ve accounted for 95% of my 1980s television viewing. The other 5% is probably split between Dr. Johnny Fever and Parker Lewis.

As for the Big Bad, I can only assume it’s Rubik the Amazing Cube.

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Wait, is that K.I.T.T. or K.A.R.R.?

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Wait, is that K.I.T.T. or K.A.R.R.?

The wonderful thing about the LXG is that it could easily be either of them.

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That. Is. F*cking. AWESOME. Toss Prospero somewhere in there and I’m a perpetually happy camper.

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The only reference I don’t get is the drug, Playback. Where is that from?

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It’s not K.A.R.R. It’s K.I.T.T.

The bottom of KARR’s front cowling was white.

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Jef With One F said on August 21st, 2012 at 4:20 pm

What? No Dale Cooper or Buffy?

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causeiambetta said on August 21st, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Much respect for Connor McCloud of Clan McCloud!

…his special ability is to understand people’s feelings

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I feel compelled now to write about how Max Headroom and Tron teamed up to chase a manipulative computer program that tricked a human into allowing it into the real world, claiming to be a benevolent ubermensch known as “Automan”…

Hopefully that’ll pass. :)

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Have I mentioned how much I love you guys? I love you guys.

Zack attack!

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walter alterdonk said on August 21st, 2012 at 6:38 pm

kickstart it, kickstart it now.

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fan-freakin-tastic.

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Just take my money!

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I’m surprised there are only two video game references, although I guess that mostly reflects the importance of video games in 1996.

(If I had to pick another video game character to add, I’d probably have figured out how to make Samus Aran or Sonic work.)

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[...] A wonderfully updated version of Alan Moore’s League, created by Mighty God King. [...]

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You’ve been io9-ed, and sneered at in the comments. Congratulations!

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SilverHammerMan said on August 21st, 2012 at 8:53 pm

@causeiambetta
It’s spelled MacLeod, it’s not phonetic. I would know, it’s much more common where I’m from.
*Shakes fist at completely understandable spelling errors*

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I feel like an idiot – I get everything but the sphere that’s foreground left… it’s on the tip of my mindtongue… Gah! Help, please?

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@merp – Pokeball. Now what’s the guy in the upper right-hand corner?

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Kirala . . . that’s Sledge Hammer, from Sledge Hammer!, the most overzealous lawman to ever walk the Earth. Who needs to build a Robocop when you got Hammer and his huge gun? Trust him . . . he knows what he’s doing.

Pokeball’s a little big, isn’t it? Also, nice to see Rufus back. He was cool in Evan Dorkin’s B&T spinoff from Marvel, and it’s always good to see George Carlin in any incarnation.

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It does my heart good that you included Egon Spengler and Pizzazz, who were my favourite characters in two of my earliest fandoms.

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Whose portrait is that on the left, with what looks like maybe a katana? My first thought was Butch from Pulp Fiction, but the hair isn’t right, and he isn’t all bloody (as Butch was when he used the katana). Plus I wouldn’t expect two Pulp Fiction references.

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It would be worth it if for no other reason than for “high functioning sociopath named Zack Morris.” At last someone said it.

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Bradley Coxe said on August 22nd, 2012 at 12:00 am

Sledge Hammer? I thought it was Jim Rockford!

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THIS MUST EXIST.

Wow.

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…You despicable genius.

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slappy the happy robot said on August 22nd, 2012 at 12:28 am

The only reference I don’t get is the drug, Playback. Where is that from?

pretty sure that’s a reference to Strange Days.

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“Whose portrait is that on the left, with what looks like maybe a katana? My first thought was Butch from Pulp Fiction, but the hair isn’t right, and he isn’t all bloody (as Butch was when he used the katana). Plus I wouldn’t expect two Pulp Fiction references.”
It’s Connor McCleod from the Highlander movie.

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[...] Following up on the cliffhanger ending of The League of Extraordinary Gentleman 1988: The League of Extraordinary Gentlepersons 1996. [...]

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As much as I like most of the characters in the 1988 League (B.A. never did much for me… I preferred Murdock and Face), I think I’d rather see the characters in the background paintings in your version as the Eighties team.

I guess what I’m saying is that my pop culture sensibilities are closer to your guys’ than to those of Messrs. Sims and Shackles.

For example, I have lost track of how many times I watched Big Trouble in Little China, but I still have to question the wisdom of including Jack Burton on a team even if Kurt Russell was pretty great in that movie. Jack is the dopey sidekick who occasionally does something useful. It would be better to recruit Wang Chi or “peasant sorcerer” Egg Chen. At least Wang knows martial arts and speaks two languages. Anyway…

Connor MacLeod teaming up with Teen Wolf, Egon and KITT? Aw, heck yeah! And Sledge Hammer is a superior choice if you absolutely have to have a “screw up who somehow still stops the bad guy”-type of character.

Speaking of which… Would Inspector Gadget qualify for the ’96 team? If so, that would be keen.

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Love this, especially including Connor MacLeod. There can be only one, indeed.

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Brian Smith said on August 22nd, 2012 at 2:36 am

You know, if I had access to time-travel technology in this shared universe, and I wanted to be absolutely certain that Bill S. Preston, Esq., and Ted “Theodore” Logan were never born…I’d go back to when their parents were teenagers, and I’d warp them into the heart of the nuclear explosion that Sledge accidentally caused.

(Mostly I just want someone to deal with that nuclear explosion.)

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C. Carter said on August 22nd, 2012 at 3:11 am

Meh. I mean, Moore set his last “League” installment in 2009 so it’s not like this era hasn’t been touched upon. Also, the Mad Magician didn’t really show nostalgia for the upper flotsam and jetsam of his childhood pop culture (“The Avengers,” sure, but there were no substantive “Get Smart” or “Jetsons” references), which is what this essentially is.

This fits more the upper white middle class’ endless rehashing of 80′s and 90′s pop culture that has basically allowed Big Pop Culture to make “nostalgia piece” into a movie genre. Not what I expect from Christopher Bird, but expectations are made to be broken, or set down gently, or what have you.

That said, you give us lots of free content that I love, so follow your Muse. Even if she basically plays a mix cd of tracks from Huey Lewis and Creed in your head, apparently.

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I really thought that was Laura Holt in the red hat. (I’m going to stick to my illusions on that.)

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candidgamera said on August 22nd, 2012 at 9:17 am

Imperial Teenage Asshole, Halt the Flow of Time!

*slow clap*

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FifthSurprise said on August 22nd, 2012 at 9:52 am

But what about Macgyver?

Either way this is still amazing.

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FifthSurprise said on August 22nd, 2012 at 9:55 am

Actually I retract the above. I forgot about this April Fool’s spoof: http://www.comp.dit.ie/dgordon/League/League88/loeg88.jpg

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Truly awesome.

Would the world’s most maligned Olympic mascot, Izzy, made an appearance?

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With Edward James Olmos as the mysterious Lt. C…

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Who is the dude with the question mark head?

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[...] The best confluence of 1990s pop culture references ever? Maybe. [...]

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Also, the Mad Magician didn’t really show nostalgia for the upper flotsam and jetsam of his childhood pop culture

So, to be in the true spirit of Alan Moore’s original story, an American 1996 league would consist of… who?

Moore took characters from the pop culture of the era the story was set in. Captain Nemo? Dr. Jekyll? That stuff was pop. Some of the material he pulled from was the 19th century equivalent of Shades of Grey, if you want to talk about cultural flotsam.

Bird, Wheeler, and Davinder nailed the soul of the thing as it was, regardless of what direction Moore took it in later.

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Craig, I didn’t see any sneering in the io9 comments, save for a brief discussion about why it’s not British. Most people were way into it.

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When I looked, the top comment was:

“Buffy, Sam Beckett from Quantum Leap, FBI Agent Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks, Dr Samantha Waters from the Profiler or Frank Black from Millennium, Duncan McLeod the Highlander, Walker Texas Ranger, LaFemme Nikita, one of the kids from Roswell – instead we get Zack and Edward Scissorhands? LOL.”

Seemed sneery to me.

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One thing comes to mind when looking at this:
‘The addition of Jack Burton to the team was originally considered a mistake, as the intention had been to recruit a relative of his known as ‘Pliskin’, but he has proved himself to be a useful ally regardless.’

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How about an eccentric detective from Miami named Ace?

Or KAZAAM.

This thing writes itself.

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Nice!

…what about a Noughties version?

Jack Bauer, Dexter Morgan, Rose Tyler, Bobby Singer and Spike?

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OOOOH! Windom Earle = Moriarty analogue!

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[...] League of Extraordinary Gentlepersons: 1996 [...]

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William Kendall said on August 24th, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Could we have the Saved By The Bell nitwit torn apart? In a horrendously painful way? Oh, please, it would be ever so good….

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atomic1fire said on August 25th, 2012 at 12:51 am

It’s missing xenomorphs and skynet.
If such a thing could exist. (without the legal uncertanty that would follow)

Also Robocop in the future, and Doc from back to the future.

And in a case in texas they come across Ranger Walker, who mostly just beats up drug dealers and arrests people.

Also I’m surprised batman couldn’t be in on this action.

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Thornae:

It’s not that it doesn’t exist, it’s that we’ve all read the damn thing in Lucien’s library (Sandman reference, since it has all the works any author wrote in their dreams) and can’t remember the details after we woke up…

Except that it was awesome, as proven here.

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If you haven’t already done one for the 2000′s–the Oughts?–as well, please please PLEASE do!

…I suppose we can’t *demand* it before April 1 of next year, but still.

I’m begging you with what Calvin called Bambi Eyes; PLEASE grace us with another then, if not sooner.

–Nonie, who JUST discovered these via ComicsAlliance

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[...] by Chris Bird and Andrew Wheeler), The League of Extraordinary Gentlepersons 1996. Here’s the concept: Abuse of Playback, the technologically-derived drug made from distilled human memories, is [...]

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Trio of One said on August 28th, 2012 at 5:12 am

This is a fantastic concept. I’m not too hot on the 70s but if memory serves Mark Harris aka The Man From Atlantis; Six Million Dollar Man Steve Austin and perhaps Mr. Roarke could provide refuge on Fantasy Island; For an 80s incarnation I’d like to see Street Hawk with Norman Tuttle along for the ride; The Equalizer; T J Hooker; Greatest American Hero Ralph Hinkley and Manimal Dr Jonathan Chase. Not much to add to the 90s except for Buffy; Quinn Mallory and possibly Frank Black. Of course, Dr Who and Sapphire & Steel could turn up in any incarnation of the team. Great work and thank you

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Trio of One said on August 28th, 2012 at 6:27 am

Fun could be had placing the more historical heroes such as Hercules, Xena, Sinbad, Robin Hood, Merlin as well as those literature based shows like The Lost World. Going off on a tangent now Barnabas Collins could be enlisted. David Vincent could easily be incorporated. This is good fun

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Trio of One said on August 28th, 2012 at 7:59 am

For the noughties I would like to see The Cape; Matt Parkman; Major John Case; Warehouse 13 could provide some great Easter Eggs

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Trio of One said on August 28th, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Of course I meant Colonel John Casey. I hope people post more ideas. I feel lonely!!! Perhaps I found this too late. Anyway:
60s – Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin; Maxwell Smart; Detective Steve McGarrett; Randal & Hopkirk (Deceased) and Adam Adamant
More later

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Trio of One said on August 30th, 2012 at 6:50 am

70s – Bumper Morgan, Blue Knight; Sam Casey, Gemini Man (I’d like invisibility back, albeit limited); Jack Cole and Anthony J. Petrocelli
80s – Walter Nebicher as I’m sure you couldn’t recruit the computer simulation Automan without him; Vincent and Catherine Chandler; Matt Houston and new Angel Jonathan Smith
90s – Black Jack Savage; Nick Knight aka Nicholas de Brabant; Benton Fraser and wolfdog Diefenbaker and Carlton Dial
00s and now – Sydney A. Bristow; Dr Sheldon Cooper; Lost Girl Bo and Sydney Fox

Who knows, perhaps the 30s roster could find refuge with undercover agents John & Olivia Walton or the 1850s team enlisting the services of Grizzly Adams in return for a pardon

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Kalle Blomkvist said on August 30th, 2012 at 8:54 am

Just want to cast a vote for Lisbeth Salander. Thanks.

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[...] The League of Extraordinary Gentlepersons, 1996 edition. Featuring Zack Morris, with the giant phone. Share this:FacebookEmail This entry was posted in geeking out. Bookmark the permalink. ← “We’re No.1!” Ladies Rebooted Edition [...]

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Trio of One said on September 9th, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Seems to have gone cold, shame. Anyway, the LOXG obviously needs a villain, or in the interests of balance, a team. An evil league if you will. I’m ignoring chronology for this. People can figure that out for themselves if they wish. So, for strategy, Alpha of Dollhouse; for the often mystical tech H.G. Wells delving into Warehouse 13; time and space tampering from The Master; the twisted T-Bag from Prison Break; KARR, a given as he’s already been mentioned; Sylar for raw power and the monstrosity of Klaus all with a well aimed regiment of Walking Dead cannon fodder. All being orchestrated by The First. As they’re villains, and we know they often meet their end, but for this perhaps you could use Alan Moore’s device that they didn’t really die

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[...] would lead the League of Extraordinary Gentlepersons in 1996? Agent Scully, of course. This is a great concept, with lots of hidden treasures in the [...]

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RHinoeraptor said on September 27th, 2012 at 3:00 am

Awesome team! But without Mulder, Agent Scully will need a partner for this operation. I believe Special Agent Dale Cooper is unnassigned at the moment.

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Wooly Rupert said on November 5th, 2012 at 10:43 am

I can’t help but notice the beefy saxophone player from Lost Boys never made the cut.

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I’ma bringin’ this back, even if it’s ancient. There’s some great possibilities not mentioned in the comments.

70s: Andre the Giant
Arthur Bishop (The Mechanic)
Carl Kolchak
Carrie White
Joey Ramone (because it’s awesome, that’s why)
Nami Matsushima (Female Prisoner: Scorpion; I wanted to get Meiko Kaji in here somewhere, but Lady Snowblood is a period piece.)

80s: The Brother (The Brother from Another Planet)
Brundlefly (The Fly)
Bub (Day of the Dead)
Buckaroo Banzai
Cameron Vale (Scanners)
Dr. Herbert West (Re-Animator)
FBI Special Agent Lloyd Gallagher (The Hidden)
Master Splinter (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Otto Maddox (Repo Man)

90s: Interpol Agent Chun-Li Xiang (Street Fighter II)
Julie Walker (Return of the Living Dead III)
Rei Ayanami (Neon Genesis: Evangelion)
The Undertaker

00s: Kakihara or Ichi (Ichi the Killer)

I think what Sims’ 80s League and a lot of commentators neglect is exactly what MGK mentions: the League always contains monsters. Sims’ League is cool as a badass action team, but didn’t feel League-ish to me (although the Lisa inclusion was a great idea).

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The Black Fedora said on May 17th, 2013 at 9:31 pm

My list goes like this

1. Wayne Szalinski
2. T-100
3. Chucky
4. Fred (a selectively invisible psychopath)
5. Vinny Gambini
6. Dana Scully

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[...] of Saved By The Bell, I do recall with pleasure Christopher Bird‘s nineties League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen having a rather engaging listing for [...]

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