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mygif

*dies of LOL* omg that’s a big improvement. Okay, onto the captions..

“OH MY GOD! You killed Archie! You bastard!” (yeah okay so that was a little obvious)

“Archie! How will he wear his bow tie now?”

“Betty, no! That’s not what they meant by ‘head cheese’!”

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‘Darn! I’m carrying this giant saw for nothing.’

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“THIS IS NOT SUBTEXT ANYMORE, GODDAMNIT!”

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There can be only one!

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Mitchell Hundred said on February 13th, 2013 at 10:29 am

No, not that knife! The cuts of meat will come out all uneven.

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Finally he gives head and it’s to that b&%*#!?

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“Ouch! Damn it, this sweater is all full of static! Oh, hi Betty.”

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Cespinarve said on February 13th, 2013 at 1:04 pm

Judging from Jughead’s eyeline, he’s clearly looking at something off-camera. Obviously Betty already dumped Archi’s bloody torso in the rubbish bins outside her garage.

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MY ANTIQUE TABLE! It’ll take weeks to get the right shade of wood finish ordered to cover it up!

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William Kendall said on February 13th, 2013 at 2:07 pm

“Oh my God! Betty’s given into her cannibalistic true nature and didn’t even close the curtains!!! What if old man Wetherby walked by?”

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William Kendall said on February 13th, 2013 at 2:08 pm

“Why didn’t someone tell me we’re having a Donner Party re-enactment?”

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“Sweet mother of… oh, who am I kidding, this was a matter of time.”

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“Waidaminnit — if that’s Archie’s head then WHO’S BLOWING ME?!?!?”

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“In truth, I had not known the extent of Betty’s grim resolve to keep Archie as her sexslave, bound to her twisted bloodgames. I must call for aid. I must call… REX THE MOTHERFUCKING WONDER DOG…!”

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“Damn it Betty, we were supposed to make the sacrifice together. Now I’ll never get my never-ending hamburger!”

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“The stars are right! The Old Ones gaze is upon us! Ia! Ia!”

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Mike Smith said on February 13th, 2013 at 9:19 pm

“Gosh that was a good hamburger, I — HOLY CRAP HOW LONG HAS THIS FENCE BEEN HERE?”

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“Oh god! I forgot the box! We’ll never win the Se7en cosplay competition now!”

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“Years from now, this will inspire Ed Brubaker!”

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Greg Morrow said on February 14th, 2013 at 1:20 am

I’m not surprised–

–why is MY HAT?!

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Timothy T. said on February 14th, 2013 at 1:53 am

Oh! This just isn’t doing it for me at all.

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“No! She started the sacrifice without me!”

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“Dammit, I left my car keys in the laundromat!”

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“I have that exact same knife!”

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“OH MY GOD, BETTY IS MURDERING ARCH–ennh, this actually isn’t that shocking.”

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We really need more “Betty is Insane” pics btw.

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Craig Oxbrow said on February 14th, 2013 at 6:10 pm

“Whoa, nice dress Betty!”

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highlyverbal said on February 15th, 2013 at 9:25 am

Travesty, that is pretty funny.

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alternate:
“Geeze, Betty, you had me drag this lumberjack saw all the way over here for nothing?!?!?”

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Betty decapitated Archie? TODAY? That means Dilton wins the dead pool!

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“Betty’s marzipan sculpture is outta sight! I’ll have to pull out all the stops to keep the Riverdale Food Festival crown!”

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Fuck it, I’m going back to bed.

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