On Voice
I recently got some email from somebody enthused over my comics parodies (it happens), and they asked a question I started to answer in email but then, after realizing how much I was writing to them, that I might as well turn it into an article for the site.
The question was “how do you write dialogue so well?”
People may call me immodest for saying this, but I write good dialogue. (Modesty is just passive aggression described as a virtue anyhow.) I’m not nearly so good a descriptive writer as I am with dialogue. It’s a knack. Some people are just good at drawing, they have the natural instincts to make it all fit together even before they learn the skills to really improve themselves. I got dialogue. Go figure.
This is not to say that I am without flaw in this area. I tend to be overly verbose. My style is recognizable after a while (I can live with it, considering you can say the same about Warren Ellis or Joss Whedon). I have certain systemic tics in my writing that I only notice after I finish and start going back and editing (a tendency to start sentences with “and”, for example, is one of my big ones). But I am good at it.
One of the reasons I’m good at it is because I think a lot about character voice. I get the little bastards talking in my head and I know how they should be talking after a while of listening to them. And a trick I learned years ago to codify this is the revoicing trick.
The trick, which I pass on to you, is very simple and you’ve probably seen it elsewhere before, is this: take a famous passage, preferably a speech. Now rewrite that passage as if the character you want to write is saying it. I myself favour the Gettysburg Address, because it’s distinctive, not so long to make the work tedious, but not so short that you don’t learn anything in the process, and because it’s dramatic - Abraham Lincoln could write one hell of a speech. (Another good trick: imagine the character telling “the Aristocrats” joke.)
Consider, for example, Brainiac Five’s rendition of it.
Eighty-seven years ago our ancestors created a new nation here, dedicated to the principles of equality and liberty. Now we war against our own, and now we will learn if this experiment will work. Today, we come to Gettysburg to dedicate this cemetery to those who have fallen in battle - but our dedication pales in comparison to the dedication of those buried here. Long after history forgets my words, it will remember their sacrifice. It falls to us, today, to resolve ourselves to continue the struggle, that we be willing to sacrifice as greatly as they. We cannot allow their deaths to become pointless. We must ensure that our nation, our belief in equality and liberty, triumphs in this dark hour. We must.
Now, that’s my Brainy saying that, rather than Keith Giffen’s or Mark Waid’s or whomever. But I think it works. Consider what you learn about the character voice by doing this.
No flowery language. He’s a scientist, not a poet. Brainy uses long words when they’re technically appropriate, and the rest of the time he speaks for maximum comprehensibility (not least because he hates having to repeat himself). Also note: “eighty-seven” instead of, say, “eighty-seven point two one six”. He’s not a computer, and no reasonable listener needs to know down to the thousandth decimal point how accurate the timeframe is. (He knows the decimals, but you don’t say everything you know, after all.)
Stark, firm rhetoric. Brainy’s an idealist. He frames his moral argument in absolutes as much as possible - This Is How It Is, and This Is How It’s Going To Be. And his tone, while compelling, isn’t particularly friendly. Note “cannot,” rather than the more comfortable, personable “can’t.” Note the use of active voice wherever possible (which is just a good idea generally, really, but for a character like Brainy, a must).
No sarcasm. This isn’t to say that Brainy isn’t sarcastic - he is - but there’s a time and place, and this time and place aren’t appropriate for that sort of thing with him. (Conversely, Plastic Man might launch a few bombs.)
I hope that explains a bit to the person who asked how I try to build character voice up in my head. Remember that different characters should sound different, even when they’re saying the same sort of thing - but also remember that different characters should sound different because they are different characters, if that follows.
And, as another example, here’s somebody else. I’m curious to see if people can guess who it is: I’ll just say that it’s a major comics hero(ine) with their own title and leave it at that.
Ninety-odd years ago, our mothers and fathers made a new country out of nothing, where we were all free and we were all equal. Now we’re in the middle of a civil war, because not everybody agrees with the whole “free and equal” part nowadays. Here, where our friends and family have fallen, we’re going to build a final resting-place for them. They deserve that - but they also deserve our solidarity, because they paid the ultimate price for our freedom, and we owe them the willingness to pay that price ourselves, if we have to. We have to remember what they did for us, and we have to use that memory to keep fighting, for as long as we have to fight. And we’re going to win, because we have to win.
Any guesses?
September 10th, 2007 la 9:26 am
My first guess is Captain America, with a distant second being Superman.
The voice is friendly and casual, yet respectful. The voice is too soft for any of the darker toned characters, too laid-back to be one of the smarties, too old-fashioned for one of the younger characters, and too familiar with actual war to be a casual hero.
Hence, Captain America.
Superman is second because he has similar verbal patterns, but, while a fighter, he’s still not the warrior that Cap is.
September 10th, 2007 la 9:30 am
Seems a little speechy for Spidey, and a little anti-reg for Iron Man. I’m gonna say… Daredevil?
September 10th, 2007 la 9:31 am
i first thought john wayne, but, that’s because i’d been listening to “rappin’ duke” recently.
then, dubya.
now, i can’t get “that” type of voice out of my head.
good tip & great site.
September 10th, 2007 la 9:32 am
Oh, duh, it’s about THE Civil War, not Civil War. That’s what I get for skimming. Okay, I say Cap, too.
September 10th, 2007 la 9:34 am
I’m interested in how The Hulk would deliver it.
September 10th, 2007 la 9:42 am
The first character that came to mind was actually Buffy.
September 10th, 2007 la 9:48 am
I’m gonna go with the Thing.
September 10th, 2007 la 9:52 am
Oh God, I think I’m printing this off for my students today.
Not that they know who Brainiac 5 is, but still.
September 10th, 2007 la 9:55 am
Very Buffy. That was my first thought, anyway. Maybe Spidey, but more Buffy.
September 10th, 2007 la 10:15 am
“Hulk Smash puny greycoats”?
Really, it would be funny to see the full length, with ‘long long time ago, hulk’s home got made, then hulk’s friends got smashed, now HULK will smash!’, but does the Hulk really give a speech about ANYTHING? Except who broke that chair in the Avengers Mansion kitchen, of course (me STILL think it the dog. That dog no good).
No serious guesses, but I don’t see Superman saying ‘ninety-odd’, ninety-odd says ‘older sensibility’ to me. I like the Cap theory, but that’s because I didn’t see ’snikt bub’ anywhere in there.
Do they have an entry for ‘generic 50 year old downhome patriot’? Uncle Sam? Nick Fury?
September 10th, 2007 la 10:16 am
Oh, and another vote for Buffy. Casual, almost vapid diction addressing lofty ideals, and a tendency to personalize her causes. Spidey maybe, but it’s not smart enough for Peter Parker.
September 10th, 2007 la 10:28 am
“Ninety-odd years ago.” It’s not captain america. Way too informal for Cap, particularly in reference to the founding of America.
“our mothers and fathers” It’s an interesting tic, definitely feminist (post feminist)
“our friends and family have fallen” not soldiers or boys. friends and family
“And we’re going to win, because we have to win.” steel-ly resolve, phrased ineloquently.
Buffy.
September 10th, 2007 la 10:41 am
Is it She Hulk?
I can’t think of any other female comic book characters that have their own series other than Ms Marvel and Wonder Woman and it doesn’t sound like either of them to me.
September 10th, 2007 la 10:51 am
This is going to be a “me too” post. I read this through the RSS feed, so I didn’t get to read any of the comments before guessing. But about halfway through, and especially toward the end, yeah. I thought about Buffy. It does sound like the few speeches she’s given in her own series.
September 10th, 2007 la 10:57 am
Well, dang.
I never even thought of Buffy as a comic character, and I missed the mothers - fathers reversal, so I think I may change it to Buffy too, but does she count as a major comics heroine? If not, I’m completely unfamiliar with the personality of the current Supergirl, could it be her?
Although… the use of “mothers and fathers” is jarringly formal in this otherwise casual speech. And I disagree that it’s necessarily post-feminist, as it is not uncommon to say “mom and dad,” though the more formal speech does usually have fathers before mothers…
Now I’m all confused.
September 10th, 2007 la 11:11 am
Seems like the Thing to me. Close second being Spider-Man. I’d think Cap would be a touch more formal than that.
September 10th, 2007 la 11:52 am
It’s not how I’d envision Buffy giving the speech - not quite enough flippancy. Though the “ninety-odd” mistake seems buffylike enough.
September 10th, 2007 la 11:58 am
On the other hand, I can see Malcolm Reynolds delivering it exactly that way.
But he doesn’t currently have a comic.
September 10th, 2007 la 12:28 pm
Sounds more like Supergirl. Added bonus that she’s also in the Legion.
September 10th, 2007 la 12:47 pm
I’m saying it isn’t Buffy; it’s not quite her, there’s not enough..I don’t even know what you call it, but even when she speechifies, she doesn’t stay on point that well, IMO
September 10th, 2007 la 1:03 pm
My first guess was Spider-Man as well, but it seems just a little off for him. However, on multiple reads it seems to fit better. Or, I’m justifing.
September 10th, 2007 la 2:33 pm
Interesting exercise, Chris.
I’d agree with it being Buffy, but for this fragment: “and we owe them the willingness to pay that price ourselves”; which is a bit awkward. If it’s Buffy, Willow wrote that part for her. Or rather, Willow wrote the whole speech, and that’s the only bit she remembers.
I think it’s probably Peter Parker (not Spiderman; the voices of the character are different). But in the interests of at least guessing someone that hasn’t been mentioned….
Hmm. Huntress could do it, but I’m not sure she counts as having her own title through BoP, and the school teacher wouldn’t say 90 odd years ago.
I think my guess is Green Lantern Jon Stewart (or maybe Steel, but that’s because the comics version of Steel seems to be cribbing heavily from the Dini-Verse JLU Stewart from what I saw in 52) though I’m not sure either of them has their own comic these days.
Now, what does it say about your exercise that this sample has gotten so many varied answers–that all, in my view, could be considered accurate. All of the characters mentioned could give this speech this way, and not seem out of character, even if it’s not perfectly in character. I think it reveals something about how the reader perceives character voice in their own head, I’m just not sure what. I’d also be interested in knowing how many of the commentators also do some writing.
September 10th, 2007 la 2:40 pm
Well, Joe, first off, with the exception of the Thing (and I’ll say right now that it’s not the Thing), the answers given in multiples are Captain America, Spider-Man/Peter Parker and Buffy. I think the patriotic nature of the speech reinforces, for some people, the voice of Captain America when they read it. As for Spidey and Buffy, they happen to be two characters with an awful lot in common.
September 10th, 2007 la 3:02 pm
The only Marvel character I can think of that is part of a title and would be irresponsible enough with a speech like that is The Human Torch.
From DC, my guess would be either Flash or Booster Gold. Anyone who uses “our mothers and fathers” instead of “our forefathers” just can not be the sharpest tool in the shed.
September 10th, 2007 la 3:45 pm
Hawkeye?
September 10th, 2007 la 3:48 pm
Anyone who uses “our mothers and fathers” instead of “our forefathers” just can not be the sharpest tool in the shed.
I don’t see that at all, sorry.
September 10th, 2007 la 4:15 pm
I read and saw the following
Gettysburg Speaker: Ninety-odd years ago, our mothers and fathers made a new country out of nothing, where we were all free and we were all equal.
Black men and white women in the audience: Oh really? Where is this country located?
Sorry, but that screams “idealistic yet historically uninformed” to me. which in my mind, I see as someone who would just as easily stick his foot in his mouth as use it to kick some bad guy’s ass. If it wasn’t a title character, I would have said it was Miss Floyd from Civil War.
September 10th, 2007 la 4:20 pm
Black men and white women in the audience: Oh really? Where is this country located?
Yes, because not allowing for different social mores of the period is the height of reasonable discourse.
September 10th, 2007 la 4:45 pm
True on the Spidey/Buffy comparison. But it’s not just the multiples that ring as plausible when I read this. Waid’s Supergirl isn’t impossible. Malcom Reynolds of Firefly could have said this (but not the harsher Mal of Serenity.) Some versions of She Hulk could have said this, but not Dan Slott’s. Torch and Booster both occurred to me, but I’m not familiar with how Torch’s being written these days and I don’t have enough experience with Booster to say for sure. Flash didn’t occur to me, but I can hear Michael Rosenbaum reading this as if I’d just been watching it on the screen.
That’s one of the interesting things about a shared universe. There are so many different takes on individual voices that you can make a convincing argument for any of these people. And as soon as you tell us who you intended it to be, it will click, and we will hear the passage in the variant–tone, pacing, etc–that makes sense for that individual, and we will all think it is inherently obvious and not understand how we could have thought it was anyone else. But really, all of the guesses will still be “correct” in some ways.
It’s part of the reason I’m wondering how many of us commenting are writers. How many of us are looking at this and trying to deconstruct it to see who said it…and how many of us are trying to figure out who we can get to say this?
September 10th, 2007 la 5:24 pm
I’d say…Ms. Marvel.
September 10th, 2007 la 5:29 pm
[i]Yes, because not allowing for different social mores of the period is the height of reasonable discourse.[/i]
Then you’re not writing for the character. You’re writing for the time.
September 10th, 2007 la 6:07 pm
Oddly, it read like the JSA’s Stargirl to me.
September 10th, 2007 la 7:37 pm
Zenrage: Just engage your suspension of disbelief. Assume that the world that the character is speaking in is a world in which he/she/it would say those things. It’s not really that bit a point; it’s not about the content of the speech, it’s about the voice the speech is made in.
September 11th, 2007 la 12:36 am
I got it! Ultimate Cap! A little more down-to-earth than the 616 one, which accounts for the casual speech, but the same guy at heart.
September 11th, 2007 la 3:12 am
Hmmm. You’ve got a thing for DC, so I’m betting it’s a DC character.
The mothers and fathers thing is probably accurate. It’s too odd to be accidental.
It must be an American character, I think, because of the pointed reference.
People who know a lot of large words tend to use them, so the character probably doesn’t.
There’s not a lot of playfulness there either.
Carol Danvers? She’s not DC, but the rest seems to fit, mostly. And she has an ongoing.
September 11th, 2007 la 4:13 am
I’m not sure I understand why the reaction of the audience makes something in or out of character, nevermind the fact that it’s supposed to be a specific character’s version of the speech, not dialogue (hence, no reaction from anyone, be they black, white, asian, hispanic, native american, or whatever)
September 11th, 2007 la 12:34 pm
Joe H: If you are writing for the time period and you feel that time period should overshadow the nature of what makes that character special in any time period, then how can you claim to be doing the character any benefit?
Its not about suspending disbelief. Its about staying true to the character. The character who spoke in this speech is made out to be ignorant of history and ultimately exclusionary. I’m not saying MGK did it on purpose. I’m just saying he overshot the intended target.
Do you think Spider-man would start acting like J. Jonah Jameson if he was ever put in charge of the Daily Bugle?
September 11th, 2007 la 1:03 pm
Its not about suspending disbelief. Its about staying true to the character. The character who spoke in this speech is made out to be ignorant of history and ultimately exclusionary.
You’re continuing to completely miss the point, which is not “reinterpret the events in the viewpoint of the character” but rather “reinterpret the speech patterns in the character’s speaking voice.” If it makes you feel better, pretend that the civil war in question is actually happening on planet Zarko.
September 11th, 2007 la 9:05 pm
I know I’m wrong, but honestly, I read it as Pa Kent.
September 11th, 2007 la 11:43 pm
It definitely felt like Spidey to me, although I gotta admit, the guy who said it’s specifically Peter Parker’s voice got me thinking.
September 16th, 2007 la 9:27 am
The more I read it, the more I hear Henry Fonda’s voice. It’s gotta be Superman.
September 21st, 2007 la 10:42 pm
I’m a little late to the party, but I’m going to guess Kitty Pride. Considering she was who Buffy was modeled on (more or less), the Buffy guesses make sense to me.
March 27th, 2008 la 3:47 am
I say that’s Captain Marvel. It’s got that peculiar mixture of childishness, idealism, and adult knowledge.
July 24th, 2008 la 1:26 am
Soooo who is it? Or have I simply missed the second part somewhere in the archives. Incidentally I almost immediately read it as Buffy so it will be interesting to see who it is and place it in their voice. (I think it was the ‘we have to win’ that did it for me)