I fucking love the Forgotten Villains.
Look at them. These are old-school villains, who know the value of a good maniacal laugh, who know that good henchmen are hard to find but easy to slaughter in a fit of rage, who know that if you haven’t given the hero at least one tiny way to escape from your deathtrap then you just don’t understand the point of deathtraps.
Granted, only Enchantress is still around with any regularity these days and she’s kind of a good guy right now, but the rest of them deserve to make comebacks. Look at their lineup. First, there is Kraklow. Kraklow is a Polish wizard from the 18th century and he knows that proper evil wizards wear robes and have pointy fucking hats and these kids today with their techno-magic and their voodoo babble don’t know how to properly summon a cacodaemon worth a good goddamn. Kraklow is a giant Polish roll of fuck yes.
Then there is Atom-Master. He masters atomic thingies and basically made a helmet that turns him into Firestorm. He goes into combat wearing glasses because what the fuck are you going to do to his glasses that won’t just make him turn you into nitrogen? He is your classic mad-scientist villain and he, too, is awesome.
How about Mr. Poseidon? Okay, so his name makes no sense considering he has no sea-related powers, but he has rings which let him shrink down like the Atom and he controls the horrible Ultivac, the Indestructible Computer That Walks Like A Man (If That Man Were Really, Really Large And Made Of Metal And Computer Parts). Come on, you’ve got to love a guy who calls himself something that makes no sense. Assuming it’s not just his name. Maybe it is his name. Like, he is Dave Poseidon, and he decided, “fuck this name shit, I’m just going to build a giant destructo-computer-man.”
And then there is Chun Yull, the Faceless Hunter From Saturn (that is his entire villain name), who can turn things into bombs just by touching them, so basically he is an eight-foot-tall combination of the Question and Gunfire with Spock ears and orange skin and also he is from Saturn.
And last but not least, there is Yggardis, who is an evil sorcerer who happens to also be a fucking planet. Yes, if Mogo were A) evil and B) capable of casting magic spells, he would be Yggardis. Also Mogo would need to get himself a set of colossal metal tentacles, because Yggardis figured out pretty early on that in order to really be evil, you need something with which to make dramatic gestures. Because otherwise, what’s the point of being evil?
Like I said: I fucking love these guys.
Also, they fought the Forgotten Heroes. You know who the Forgotten Heroes are? Animal Man, Cave Carson, Congorilla and the Sea Devils. HOW FUCKING AWESOME IS THIS SHIT?
Top comment: I’d love to see Yggardis take on Mogo while a dozen or more heavy hitters in DCU just watch from space, like “well, what the hell are we supposed to do about THIS?” – Garfield
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Ultivac looks like the happiest killer-robot out there. Good for you, Ultivac!
Once again Congorilla gets noticed in an “obscure” team while Rex sits around in limbo.
I remember this ‘Whos Who’ – flashback! I remember sitting staring trying to work out quite what was going on with the Faceless hunters left leg, which just seems to go on forever.
Saturnians laugh at your feeble human grasp of proportions.
Somebody call Bruce Timm and get a few funding sources lined up; I think we can revive the DCAU with these guys.
Freehaven: No, NO, these motherfuckers need to be in Brave and the Bold. And the guy Batman teams up with to fight them is Aquaman, because Brave and the Bold Aquaman is fucking awesome.
Lister Sage: Fund it, and fund it hard.
Look at that mother fucking Ultra Vac holy fucking shit, he has a god damn SMILE. Dr. Poseidon built a giant fucking robot that he uses to kill and smash people and it has a GOD DAMN SMILE. How fucking awesome is that!
If old-school Calculator and Mirror Master had a baby, the result would be Atom-Master. Which is kinda cool.
I’d love to see Yggardis take on Mogo while a dozen or more heavy hitters in DCU just watch from space, like “well, what the hell are we supposed to do about THIS?”
So are they the Forgotten Villains because they were not that good? Or because they were too terrifying to be remembered, at least without causing everyone in the world to get the willies?
I vote the latter.
Forgotten Villians FTW!
I always wondered, if he’s from Saturn, whyyyyyy does he look like Chameleon Boy, who is from Durla? …seriously, the guy looks like a durlan, i mean look at his legs…
MKG, you’ve read DnA’s short-lived Resurrection Man series, yes? They make a cameo in #25.
I have to respectfully disagree. Faceless Hunter looks like they accidentally forgot to draw on Mr. Poseidon’s face and the colorist fell asleep, and they just figured, whatever, it’s the Facesless Hunter, that’s what they look like on… um… totally Saturn. And Atom-Master is clearly an accountant who is just so really really extra happy to be accountanting, he straps his briefcase on his chest to keep his 1040 forms by his heart for ever. And a plant with tentacles? I respectfully submit that is a planet who is trying too hard, perhaps Mogo’s younger brother, and Mom always liked Mogo best. However, Ultivac does look happy and adorable, despite a name that would get him accidentally kidnapped by super-housewives all the time.
Some notes on Kraklow:
1. His name is suspiciously close to an anagram of “Warlock” where they made an emergency substitution of another “k” for the “c”. The result also sounds like “Krakow” which is most likely why he’s Polish.
2. He must have amazingly tiny feet.
3. The mass from which went to at least one hand.
4. And while he knows a wizard wears robes and a pointy hat (or what appears to be a fedora with a tumor), he also appears to favor bright white under-shirts, which is a lot like wearing sweat socks with dark slacks.
I agree with MGK. This team rocks.
Faceless people just have to be great at headbutting. There is no way around that, especially if things blow up after he touches them. Its like, first he headbutts someone and then their head blows up… In fact, I wonder if that’s what happened to that friend of the Oracle.
Also, its refreshing to see a character whose powers have nothing to do with the characters name. If you went up against someone with a fire themed name, you’d probably want to bring along a supersoaker. But if the villain’s name is completely unrelated to his name, then that just throws all kinds of monkey wrenches into the works.
I also like the tentacle planet. Yggardis so desperately needs to be a part of the Sinestro Corps.
D’you suppose Ultivac’s name is an Asimov reference?
That’s the best illustration of the Fatal Five I’ve seen.
Where do you suppose these people met for the first time?
Is there some sort of EvilGeniusMatch.com?
Do you think Kraklow was embarassed that Enchantress’ hat is pointier? Did he go with the super long robe to compensate? Does he drive a Porsche?
I think this might be my favorite one of these yet, while Garfield’s comment made me laugh aloud.
“EvilGeniusMatch.com”: Fund it.
But…why are they forgotten?
Draco: Poor choices in nemeses. I mean, Yggardis’s arch-enemy was the Space Cabbie.
Who the hell is going to remember the guy that keeps harassing the Space Cabbie?
Space Cabbie, probably.
I mean, you try to fly yer hack and some planet tries to kill you with tentacles?
That one is definitely going to leave some permanent mental scars.
Atom-Master’s little head on the side looks like he’s licking his lips. And apparently Ultivac is telepathic.
Due to extremely tiny text, I thought that he was named Album-Master. “Pah! Pathetic mortals, you switched your collection to CD for ‘better sound’, little knowing the cosmic power contained within these discs of wax!”
Unless they’re female, in which case they wear… what the hell is that Enchantress is “wearing”?
Univac
Atom-Master looks like he belongs on the Office. First he does smoe basic white collar work, then he turns Ed Helms lungs into helium, and then he has awkward/funny conversation with Steve Carell.
But could they take on the War Wheel successfully?
Holy shit. These guys are awesome!
You know, for some reason I couldn’t remember these guys.
Skemono: It looks like an open (WAY open) necked jerkin to me with leotard pants, heeled boots and a black sash. And a witch’s hat.
Aww, lookit the happy giant war robot!
“Ultivac is friend to all children!”
“Mom, look, it’s the Iron Giant! Now he’s picking me up and … urgh …”
[...] Ol’ MGK at Mightygodking profiles the world’s greatest super-villain team… the Forgotten Villains. For those keeping score at home, they are 86% Rex the Wonder Dog. I have never seen anything made [...]
Ha, I knew Chun Yull looked familiar! He and another Faceless Hunter were among the aliens trying to kidnap Hal Jordan in Green Lantern #15. Maybe they should try a fullscale invasion one of these days…
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